Life can change in an instant. The change could be a good thing, like the birth of a child or winning the lottery. But it might be bad. Car accident. Struck by lightning. Death. Or even worse, the Cowboys beat the Patriots.
I’ve been able to enjoy half of my life without having that God-forsaken evil band of miscreants defeat my Pats. It hadn’t happened since 1996. 25 years. Quarter century. More than 9,000 days.
My Cowboy-loving friends have had to keep their yaps shut since the days when “ER” ruled TV, Beavis and Butthead had a movie and the Spice Girls topped the charts.
They muddled through their miserable fan existence cheering for one of the most over-hyped and underachieving franchises in all of sports.
How about them Cowboys? Well Jerry’s group of fraudulent losers racked up zero NFC titles and no Super Bowl appearances in those 25 years. That pitiful track record was highly effective at keeping Cowboys fans’ mouths zipped shut.
Little D played in only 12 playoff games since 1996. In that time the Pats won 33 playoff games, nine AFC titles and claimed six Super Bowls.
There are only a handful of NFL teams who have fewer playoff wins than Dallas since ’96. Buffalo. Detroit. Miami. Washington. Throw in the Bears and Browns and Cowboys fans have been embarrassed by keeping company with the dregs of the league.
Back in the day when my Cowboy friends had full heads of hair, Dallas won the first 7 meetings against the Pats. But since then good has triumphed over evil.
New England had six straight wins against the Cow-jokes and I’ve been enjoying the Sounds of Silence from the Dallas-loving dinks.
What could they say?
And while all these facts remain true, for the first time since Bill and Monica and $4 movie tickets, the Cowboys have beaten the Patriots.
Took OT against a rookie QB for one of “the best teams in the NFL” to squeak out the win. Dallas was massively penalized and poorly coached. But New England is rebuilding and Dallas is loaded, so at the end of the movie the bad guys won and life changed in an instant. I’d rather be hit by lightning.
Dallas fans in these parts will treat this as their Super Bowl. They’ll boast, brag, finger point and wag their tongues and New England fans will have to endure it.
Mercifully the Cowboys will find a way to blow this season. They’ll grab defeat from the jaws of victory in a playoff game or something. And their streak of post season failure dating back to the days of the Macarena will remain intact.
If not, life will change as I know it. Not for the good.
Jeff Solari is the founder of the Maine Sports Chowdah, Maine’s only free weekly sports email newsletter. He has been in sports media since he was 17 and is not shy with his opinions or perspective on the world of sports. The longtime sports broadcaster is a graduate of Mount Desert Island High School and the University of Southern Maine. Previous gigs included WLBZ-TV and WCSH-TV, host of “The Shootaround” talk radio show on WZON and stints with “Downtown” and “The Drive.” Solari has won more than 15 Maine Association of Broadcasters and AP broadcaster awards.