I blame it all on John Yanowicz, the bread maven.
John and his chief helper Linda bake wonderful bread at their Connecticut farm. This started as a retirement activity which grew out of hand when their neighbors started begging for loaves of rye. John and Linda have great personalities, sure, but the best feature of their visits to Maine is the frozen loaves of bread they bring as gifts.
I have never had better bread.
All of those go to establish John as an expert witness when it comes to baking. On his last visit I confessed to my weakness for all things bagel. He said “You have to try the sourdough bagels this place in Portland bakes. The best.”
What?
I love sourdough ever since my visit to San Francisco several generations ago. I love bagels. But I never had a sourdough bagel. When the conversation lagged, I drew my trusty smartphone and googled sourdough bagels for our next trip south. I came across rave reviews for Scratch Bakery on Preble Street. Bagel I must.
We actually left the couch last week (Restaurant gift certificate from Aran) and headed to the Muddy Rudder in Yarmouth, then Macy’s at the Maine Mall for bed sheets. Macy’s is to Blue Eyes what Fenway Park is to me. She brings a bewildering array of coupons on special sale days and gets articles for, like half the price tag. I got $190 bedsheets (honest) for about $45. When Blue Eyes says “buy” I never hesitate. She is a shopping savant.
When the Portland mall business was concluded, we started my search for the elusive sourdough bagel. I had my GPS but (naturally) forgot the charger and it died as soon as I turned it on. No worries. I turned once again to the smartphone and Google Maps. How did we ever live without these marvels? I knew the bakery was on Preble Street in South Portland but the “smart” phone kept sending me to the interstate toward Portland. We must have wasted an hour when Blue Eyes suggested a radical tactic. “Let’s look at the road map.”
The road map? When was the last time you ever looked at the road map? 1965?
Because Blue Eyes is Always Right, I took out her faded DeLorme Gazetteer and checked the South Portland street map. It was then and only then that I discovered to my deep consternation that there were two Preble Streets, one in Portland and one in South Portland.
Oh.
That’s why the “smart” phone was sending me to Portland.
With Blue Eyes at the wheel and my fingers tracing the street map, we meandered through South Portland, not Portland. I thought I knew where the bakery was and we went there. Nope. Another half hour lost. I went back to the map and finally found Preble Street, near Southern Maine Community College. But it was a decidedly neighborhood area, not likely to have a fabulous bakery. When in doubt, I stop and ask. I don’t care about that male canard about never asking for directions.
“It’s right across the street,” said the girl in the pet shop. I was so relieved. “But I have some bad news for you. They are probably out of bagels.” She explained that these were hot items (pun intended) and easily sold out. Because of the sheet shopping and the tour of South Portland streets it was now 4 p.m.
We fast-walked (running is out) across Preble Street to a tiny storefront which advertised “Scratch Bakery.” The happy person behind the register confirmed my worst fears. “We sell out by 8:30 in the morning,” she said. I stared at the empty bagel display counters. They also have garlic and herb cream cheese. Imagine. I knew, somehow, that life would never let me come back to Preble Street again. Not by 8:30 a.m.
Chances are good that I will enjoy those sourdough bagels with garlic cream cheese, only in my dreams.
I blame it all on John Yanowicz, bread maven.
Emmet Meara lives in Camden in blissful retirement after working as a reporter for the BDN in Rockland for 30 years.