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• Anonymous

  Thank you Dr. Steele.

• StillRelaxin

  Of course on the flip side if we all start thinking that most everyone around us are sexual deviants then that will likely taint our lives and those of our children in a very negative way as well. I’d recommend raising kids like you should be driving your car. Always with caution and defensive awareness. Just don’t turn into one of those people who thinks everyone on the road is a nut because it will be at that point that you become one yourself.

• Anonymous

  I applauded your openness about a very difficult situation Dr Steele. I will only hope that as a society we will find a balance between over reporting and under reporting. It is difficult for those “mandatory reporters” to find a balance and not over react and ruin someone else’s life but, still report the things that need to be reported so an innocent child is not traumatized. I think that education concerning the subject is the key. Too bad that education isn’t required before you were allowed to have  a child.

• Anonymous

  Well written, and I suspect there are many others out there who have had a similar experience. These “unsuccessful” attempts by deviants are many times overlooked and under reported because of all the same reasons. After the death of Robert Carlson I personally saw many people disagreeing to the point of angry outbreaks. Some people are always on the look out and some people just dont want to look or see what is going on around them. That will never change. As with Carlson (not named in the above article), there were numerous signs and obvious red flags. He had a Roman collar, blue lights and the ear of people in very high places. He also had the ability to to be out at any hour of the night or day. Traveling, many times at high speeds, to meetings, counseling sessions, death notifications and whatever else he decided to tell those close to him. Trust me when I say that many in local law enforcement  saw him for what he was while others in the same field saw nothing but the good that he was doing. The thing that was missing were victims who dared to speak out. That is  one of the  things that law enforcement needs in order to make a case. Until the victims are able to speak without fear of the consequences, criminals will continue to do what they want. If someone tells you that they were abused or victimized, dont be the person that discourgages them from speaking out sooner than later.

• http://pulse.yahoo.com/_UDMNUBBIDWJLPI32ZUQAP5QMWE Wayno

  Your analogy is fantastic.  The unfortunate reality is that there have always been cases like Dr. Steele.  Although I have no proof, I believe an older brother of mine was molested by a predator in the late 60′s and early 70′s.  This man always hung around teenage boys, especiailly shy or slightly challenged ones.  My brother was a very shy, quiet child.  He would have the boys stay at his home, he would take them on trips, and spend hours on end with them.  Back then, no one understood, or had any incling about molestors and sexual abuse, so my parents thought he was just a “nice” man.    However, now that these crimes are becoming more open, we need to educate our children about “good touch, bad touch” just like we educate our children on safe driving.  Although we all want to protect our children, keeping them away from experiencing life ,in my opinion, is a bigger tragedy.

• Anonymous

  I raised my kids to know if anyone ever asked or tried to touch them, in anyway that made them uncomfortable,  they were to come to me, no matter who it was or what they told them would happen, I didn’t want them to become paranoid or nervous around adults that genuinely cared about kids and who were not in anyway sexually perverted, but to realize the difference. It worked out very well for them. Parents need to find the balance, make your kids aware without making them nervous and paranoid. I made sure they knew the majority of adults are good, but sometimes they have problems and if anything at all happened they could come to me and I wouldn’t judge them or think they had been “bad”, that is was always the adult that had the problem no matter how they tried to tell them otherwise. 

• Guest

  What openness?
  Much like the Assistant coach who caught Sandusky he has left a molester out there unnamed and unprosecuted.  
  Do you think old molesters stop molesting?

• http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ZSBAAXFEXTIBDSRA5X3FA6TSG4 jersey

  The secrets people carry are deep. I can fully understand the abnormal becoming normal in our thoughts. The behaviors we see from children though are normally abnormal and we have to recognize them. In my case no one did and I was further punished for failing school, getting suspended, chronic detentions, and promiscuity. Hard to believe no one figured it out when I went from the smartest to the most messed up overnight. 

• Anonymous

  Wow, so well written and so true. Sorry you have had to bear the brunt of an abuser not knowing where and how to take your information!!  Obviously any abuse has life long repercussion. Not everyone is able to continue and have a productive life as you and Oprah have. Keep writing, keep smiling

• Anonymous

  Go with the gut feeling. You don’t get that with everyone, but when you do…..open your eyes and then your mouth

• Anonymous

  Eduacating your child doesn’t protect them from the preditor…………it’s the guilt and questioning of the abused person that keeps them from talking. the victim will ask themselves over and over ……..did I give them the wrong message? Will my friends find out and judge me? Will the preditor hurt my family? Will I lose my job and on and on. I think at whatever age the abuse takes place ……their are always repercussions for the victim. VERY SAD happenings. Yes, I’m for teaching your children about inappropriate touching etc. tough stuff.

• Anonymous

  Wow what a great column.  I believe the last hidden sin in society is finally being exposed.  Children were seen but not listen to, that is why it was easy for predators to take advantage of them.  As adults we need to be vigilant on protecting our children and not having their innocence stolen from them.  Parents need to be careful who they leave their children with whether it’s daycare, friend or family.  Follow that gut feeling within yourself, if something doesn’t seem right follow through with investigating. Many of these sick adults who prey upon children were abused themselves. let’s be vigilant on breaking this cycle.

• Anonymous

  Very brave man to come forth with his story..he did however fail to mention that a huge amout of these offenders are family members..and its NOT rare..ask any girl or woman..a staggering number of us  are molested or attempted to be..often throughout our lives. The majority of offenders are male.(which should be looked into) .we are more shocked by male molesting a male child, but truth is..molesting a underage girl is just as bad..time to wake up america..teach our children from a very young age to speak up..and adults need to keep their eyes open for this..these are your children..and your responsibility to protect!! Embarrassment be damned!!

• Roxanne Saucier

  Excellent column!

• Anonymous

  I hear you, Dr Steele. Me too. I am over cautious with my children because of my own abuse. And I sometimes wonder how the red flags were missed by the people whose job it was to protect me as a kid. I think they just didnt want to know.

• Anonymous

  It doesn’t help when today the children report to school officials. They report to proper agencies. The police and DHHS visit the home. The police confide in the mother that she believes both children the adult child that has come forward now that the younger sibling broke silence to a school friend that reported to a teacher that reported to principal that reported to Child Protective.  Police officer stated both girls statements coincided. Oldest siblings would be too old to get a conviction and the younger child was too young to get a conviction. But, given the details and how the information surfaced and the facts surrounding, how the man gained access to the children thru church functions. He totally believed them. DHHS closed case, because parents obviously wasn’t going to let younger child near that man. The system fails and he still works around children in the church, because it takes so much hard evidence to get a conviction. By the time the child gets around to confiding in a friend the evidence is gone. They are free to abuse again.

• Anonymous

  So, Dr. Steele, what are you going to do with your knowledge of the man who undoubtedly successfully abused other boys?  Even men in their 70′s can sexually abuse children.  Are you going to report him?  Why has it taken so long?

• Joyce Maker

  I hope that you will be there when the bill I submitted is heard.

• Anonymous

  Thank you Dr. Steele for this article. It is so true. It took me til the age of 50 to speak up and say something about what had happened to me as a young girl. At this age it was freeing, but at a younger age, it would have just been more shame as most of my abusers were adult family members. I have wondered lately how to reverse that for young victims as I have seen so many people struggle in their lives with these secrets and mask them in addiction. I am thankful that I have lived for the most part a positive productive life.

• Anonymous

  “because a rare few of them are.”   Unfortunately, it is far more than a “rare few”…… Thank you for sharing your experience and insightful words.  Although it seems that our voices are a bleak whimper in a vast ocean,  I believe that one day all of our sufferings will be rightly judged.  It gives me hope to know this.   I chose to forgive and walk forward in peace and to quietly offer others who have experienced these mental or physical  perpetration  a caring hand to hold.  We are not alone. Thank you again for sharing this difficult part of your journey.   May you and so many others find peace out of chaos.

• Anonymous

  I am a 60 year old woman and the first person I told about my childhood (father) abuse was my (male) favorite high school teacher who dried my tears, comforted me, took me out to dinner, told me about him and his wife, also a teacher who had ‘special’ relationships with students, and then tried to kiss me as I got out of the car.  I found out later that a female teacher was very concerned about this predator but she never said anything.  Already frozen scared because of my father’s abuse and then having this happen,  I went into hyper-deep freeze and said nothing to nobody for a long, long time.  It is so very hard to report.  And so damaging to one’s entire life.

  My father’s actions towards my sister (horribly abused for 12 years) and myself destroyed my family.  I was burdened with the desire for suicide (a terrible thing for a young adult, how can one grow when all one wants is death?) for my entire life until I found relief finally seven years ago through the brilliant work of Dr. Jeff Aston and the DBT out-patient program at Dorothea Dix .  25 years of talk therapy only made things worse.

  I am a mother of a beautiful and brilliant 25 year old woman.  Throughout her childhood I would sometimes find myself wondering, “How can anyone hurt an innocent child in such a horrifying way”.  How can they do it?  I will never have the answer to that.

• Anonymous

  It was already stated,  “but young enough to be stunned and embarrassed into subsequent silence,
  so never told school authorities or my parents what happened.”  Abuse in any form is difficult to bring forth and once you do the repercussions can be horrific…..please find empathy for those who are brave enough to share.

• Anonymous

  A brave and timely column, and I thank you for writing it. We can’t fix what we won’t talk about.  When I get to feeling hinky about something I’ve seen (not necessarily what we’re talking about here, but ANY possible crime, or even just an odd situation), I have a quiet word with a deputy or a trooper. Many times, it is a good feeling to know that they are already up to speed on what I want them to know, and other times, maybe my input will put them on the track. Just. Don’t. Walk. Away.

• Anonymous

  I was sexually abused by my mother in the 60′s. 51 years of severe ptsd and excruciating pain. No help. Few believe. Nothing can be done now. Everyone is now gone except for the siblings who have turned on me. I was 8. 3 years before that I was picked up by a pedophile…just sorry he didn’t kill me afterwards. Instead God saved me for my mother’s ongoing abuse…and later a therapist’s abuse. Life sucks. Penn State is a dagger in my heart.

• Anonymous

  Can we build a society which is free of all abuses and all children safe? Perhaps if we were down to one human.

• Anonymous

  I do have empathy, but if this guy is still alive, he could still be abusing young boys.  It’s not too late.  As a doctor whose oath is to do no harm, he needs to protect this man’s current and future victims. 

• Anonymous

  It is so sad when a young person full of life and great potential – not only for oneself but also for society as a whole – is harmed so greatly that the potential is lost.  I remember going to the guidance counselor’s office, so depressed, crying, looking for help from bullying because my self-esteem was zero (because of my father’s incest) and getting absolutely no help.  No one asked if they could help.  I went home and swore I was never going back.  But I did three days later after assurances the bullying would stop.  It didn’t.  Adults are useless so much of the time.

• Anonymous

  A 17 year old boy in many respects has the maturity of a man, is a man in some ages and cultures, and is only inches from being a full grown adult. I do not consider this type of abuse to be grotesque child abuse, but rather grotesque sexual abuse. As one said to me, for warnings to others, if an adult wants alone time with a youth, there may be red flags, or an older gentlemen always asking about a young man that is unrelated, though this sort of thing can happen in families. I also knew an older man being cornered by other men. Also, one could be subsequently quiet at any age.

  Glad to hear the author has overcome the incident and has become a successful adult.

• Anonymous

  When it comes to child sexual predators, I suggest we suspect everyone and trust no one. That doesn’t necessarily mean we should be paranoid. But if a child makes allegations, it’s time to look past someone’s facade of respectability and do thorough investigations.

• Anonymous

  I have had an experience with  sexual solictor, terrorizer, abuser in my family…he is not a biological member…he is a relative of a very beloved child in our biological family.  It was reported and he was convicted.  That man lived with our treasured child in a distant state, although the crime happened right here in Maine.  We were warned by police, and social workers that he was a a threat to her.  So, we took the necessary steps to get him away from her, by notifying authorities in the distant state.   We suffered the consequences.  This child, whom we love so much, has systematically rejected us because we took steps to protect her. The abuser’s immediate  family lied to her and alienated her from us.   She was loyal to him, and to this day, we do not know if he sexually abused her.   There is a good chance he did, because he certainly had the opportunity because of the inappropriate and sick sleeping arrangements that her family had at times………..but this girl, no longer a minor…..barely speaks to us.  It is just unbelievable how complex and sick this whole business is.   And, often times doing the right thing backfires.  Even knowing this, I would do the same thing all over again.  We must protect our children from these creeps who are selfish and believe that they have a right to “have at it” with children.   Like the good Dr S said,,,they weasel their way into positions where they can access children.  The man I am speaking of lured his 16 year old niece with a newly minted drivers permit,  out to “drive his new truck”.  The old trusted uncle trick!

• Anonymous

  I am not talking about just educating children, I am talking about educating teachers, healthcare workers, parents, any adult that is around children, We all have to protect the children.

• Anonymous

  It’s not like he was an educated ADULT , in a position of power who should have known to report it when it happened  such as the Assistant Coach.

• Anonymous

  God help any child abuser, of any sort, that I happen upon. As the father of an 8 y/o boy, it scares me to death to think that someone may be capable of doing these sort of evil things to him, and it scares equally to know what I’m capable of doing to said abuser before the police ever got to them. It also scares me to know I would probably end up doing more prison time for my actions against the abuser, than the abuser would have ever done for their actions.

• Guest

  Are you saying the guy who wrote this is not an educated adult and has not been one for quite some time?
  BDN is leading people to believe he is a DR no less.
  Instead some kid typed this?

• Anonymous

  If all these tough talking 3rd degree black belts in lip put their money where their lip are they would have joined PROTECT  end of story
  http://www.vachss.com/updates_page.html

• Anonymous

  Prosecutors move to dismiss charges against former Scout leader

  January 3, 2007

  NEW HAVEN, Conn. –Federal prosecutors have moved to dismiss charges against a retired FBI agent who was indicted on child sex charges dating back more than a decade when he was a Boy Scout leader, in response to the death of his accuser.

  William Hutton, 63, of Killingworth, was arrested in February on charges he enticed a member of his Scout troop to Maine for the purpose of sexual activity in 1994 and 1995.

  3rd read  
  http://www.headwatersproductions.com/press/article5.html
  Edward Rodgers was in charge of investigating cases of Child Abuse at the FBI

  THE DENVER POST – Voice of the Rocky Mountain Empire
  May 17, 1990
  Sisters win sex lawsuit vs. dad $2.3 million given for years of abuse
  By Howard Prankratz
  Denver Post Legal Affairs Writer

  Two daughters of former state and federal law enforcement official Edward Rodgers were awarded $2.319,400 yesterday, after a Denver judge and jury found that the women suffered years of abuse at the hands of their father.

  The award to Sharon Simone, 45, and Susan Hammond, 44, followed testimony of Rodgers’ four daughters in person or through depositions, describing repeated physical abuse and sexual assaults by their father from 1944 through 1965.

  Rodgers, 72, who became a child abuse expert after retiring from the FBI and joining the colorado Springs DA’s office, failed to appear for the trial. But in a deposition taken in March, Rodgers denied ever hitting or sexually abusing his children.

  4th read

  FBI Agent Pleads Guilty to Child Abuse

  Tuesday February 17, 2004 11:46 PM

  By JOHN SOLOMON

  Associated Press Writer
  https://antipolygraph.org/cgi-bin/forums/YaBB.pl?num=1077052156
  WASHINGTON (AP) – The former chief internal watchdog at the FBI has pleaded guilty to sexually assaulting a 6-year-old girl and has admitted he had a history of molesting other children before he joined the bureau for what became a two-decade career.

  John H. Conditt Jr., 53, who retired in 2001, was sentenced last week to 12 years in prison in Tarrant County court in Fort Worth, Texas, after he admitted he molested the daughter of two FBI agents after he retired. He acknowledged molesting at least two other girls before he began his law enforcement career, his lawyer said.

  5th read

  Monday August 8, 2005 Longtime FBI agent sentenced to prison on child porn count
  http://www.fbi.gov/kansascity/press-releases/2010/kc033110.htm
  also see http://www.policeone.com/news/113935-Longtime-Idaho-FBI-Agent-Sentenced-for-Possessing-Child-Porn/
  By JOHN MILLER

  Associated Press Writer

  BOISE, Idaho (AP) A longtime FBI agent who helped arrest mountain-man Claude Dallas and was involved in a deadly 1984 siege involving white supremacists in Washington state is going to prison for 12 months after pleading guilty to possession of child pornography.

  William Buie, 64, of Boise, most recently worked as an investigator for the Idaho attorney general’s office.

  6th read

  February 22, 2007
  http://fredericksburg.com/News/FLS/2007/022007/02232007/262383
  SPOTSYLVANIA, Va. A  F.B.I. analyst has been sentenced to seven years in prison for having sex with a young girl in Spotsylvania County.
  Forty-four-year-old Anthony John Lesko entered an Alford plea yesterday in Spotsylvania County Circuit Court to nine counts of felony indecent liberties upon a child. An Alford plea means Lesko doesn’t admit guilt but believes there is enough evidence for a conviction.
  Authorities say Lesko engaged in a sex act with her nine times, beginning when she was nine years old.
  According to the plea, Lesko said he was a victim in the case. He said the girl initiated the contact.

  7th  read

  FBI Agent Accused Of Masturbating In Public
  http://www.pennlive.com/midstate/index.ssf/2010/12/ex-fbi_agent_sentenced_to_pris.html
  May 25, 2007 09:02 PM
  FBI Agent Accused Of Masturbating In Public

  Posted by, Marissa Pasquet KOLD News 13 News Editor

  FBI Special Agent Ryan Seese, 34, is facing sex offense charges after a cleaning woman said she found him masturbating in a women’s lavatory on campus, according to a University of Arizona police spokesman.

  8th read
  FBI agent arrested on child sexual assault charge

  Associated Press – January 15, 2008 6:14 PM ET
  http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_7978377
  PUEBLO, Colo. (AP) – An FBI agent is under arrest in Pueblo for investigation of sexual assault on a child by someone in a position of trust.

  Authorities say 53-year-old David Allan Johnson is being held in the Pueblo County jail today on a $100,000 bail.

  9th read

  Former Great Falls FBI  agent sentenced on child sex charges

  Jan 23, 2008

  A man from Great Falls who’s accused of sexually assaulting five underage girls will be spending the next 10 years behind bars.

  Stanley Perkins, 64, changed his plea to guilty after police began investigating him for child molestation in August 2006.

  The former educator, who also served two years as an FBI agent, was sentenced on one count of felony sexual assault.

  10 th read

  http://franklincoverup.com/index.php?option=com_frontpage&Itemid=26

• Anonymous

  We all always here about male to young male abuse.  I hope more women come forward and tell everyone that stories like yours are more common, or so it seems.

• Anonymous

  actually the doc stated this man”if still alive, would be in his 60′s or 70′s” I believe that the implication is that the doc does not know if he lives or not. We all need to accept responsibility for educating and protecting our own children. Sex offender registries do not protect children. Education, communication skills, and guardians that pay attention to their kids and the adults that they interact with do.

• Anonymous

  Thank-you Dr. Steele. Well written…When I was young I was raped by a relative who told me no one would believe me and he convinced me my father would be furious at me(and blame me). Years later the perpetrator arrived at my college dorm. I escaped and called my father to confess my earlier years torment. No one could understand, not even me, why I kept the secret and could not tell anyone. He was a master of manipulation and I was a child. Over this past summer, two of my siblings (over 50), during a campfire confessed being sexual abuse by their grandfather and kept it a secret. My son had a teacher befriend him during a tough time in high school but he, and I, saw the red flags and pulled away from him. I fear one day my son will tell me I did not intervene in time… What is wrong with people?? What can we do to better protect our children?…

• valgal10

  Great Article, I am so glad you were able to say “No” and that the abuser stopped. The story could have been so different…..love your articles…the world is a better place because of you…

• Anonymous

  So, are you confronting that teacher, Dr. Steele, or will you continue to stand by and let him be “free” for the rest of his life?  The definition of “normalcy bias” that you state would suggest that your association with the local person in question( since he was around the hospital more than once) might have required you to be more astute.
  It is sad that even those who have been in law enforcement have been capable of such abuse and now  in good stead with people in their own church and community,  the latter being under the illusion that forgiveness is the key and that the pedophile pervert has been rehabilitated.  NOT SO!  Be careful whom you trust, including those who cover up the situation at hand.
  Just read some comments, and must say that I had met the local person on occasion and always felt there was something not quite right, since he could not look one in the eye when speaking to him. Hiding behind the “collar” seems to have been the “rite of passage” over many years for too many in authority–much to the detriment of the victims.

• http://pulse.yahoo.com/_CATDCLORQXHORDPFKVWQS3CJYU James

  This happens more than anyone knows. What is better is when the perp threatens to kill your father or other family members while showing you a pistol or a knife. Most children will just bottle it away and have a permanent safe for anything else traumatic that happens in their life. It is like the boogeyman in the closet, you never dare to open it, put a chair against the doorknob and pull the blanket over your head so you can fall asleep.

• Anonymous

  very brave of you to come forward with your own story regarding this issue. I hope that it will encourage others who have been abused to say ‘no’,come forward,or otherwise help to stop this maddness…

• Anonymous

  Pedophilia has an extremely high recidivist rate.  Almost impossible to stop repeat behavior.  

• Anonymous

  The problem is that the chair is never strong enough.  It ALWAYS comes out in one way or another.  Either you hurt other people or you hurt yourself, or both.  What’s in that closet must be dealt with so that one can sleep peacefully and well.

• Anonymous

  Guardians that pay attention to sex offenders registry in their town can help…. it helped in our family … realized there was a perv down the road – sadly, not all the neighbors checked the registry and their children weren’t kept safe…..

• Anonymous

  No offense to Dr. Steele, but most abused children had a lot more than that to overcome and become a successful adult.  Try those that WERE abused, not just approached.  It is very hard to overcome that and become a productive adult.

• Anonymous

  He should Google him!  For Pete’s sake, doesn’t anybody else think the doctor should practice due diligence and find out if this pedophile is still alive?  He could be actively molesting children as we speak.

• Anonymous

  thank you for writing this. thank you so much….

• Anonymous

  Thank you, Dr. Steele.  What I take away is this: be vigilant with your children in every way possible. Know who they are with & when,  ask lots of questions, observe, & trust your gut feelings.  Never be surprised that anyone can do anything.  Repeatedly remind your children that they can come to you with anything, that you will be there for them, that you love them unconditionally, that all adults are responsible for their behaviors.  Even the ones they respect and admire are human and must be held accountable.  As adults we have to do everything we can to protect & educate our children, and to make sure abusers know that they can’t get away with it, no matter who they are or what “great works” they have done in their lives otherwise.  It makes me heartsick when I see the continued adulation of the deceased Michael Jackson.  His talent does not outweigh the child abuse.  Just alegations some may claim-  but there was enough evidence to convince me that I wouldn’t have allowed that sick man anywhere near my children.

• Anonymous

  We don’t want to start suspecting everyone we meet, but if you feel funny, or your child begins to behave oddly, then you need to listen and pay attention.  It is sad, because there are many wonderful, loving, caring individuals that have contact with kids: daycare workers, teachers, bus drivers, school secretaries, and yes coaches & clergy, most of whom are exactly what they seem: just decent folks who love kids in the most wholesome and honest way, and they have to be extremely careful how they behave so that their intentions are not misconstrued.  I would venture a guess that most of these people are amazing folks with our kids best interests at heart, but there is the one or two who take advantage of their situation.  I don’t think we need to start being afraid everyone is secretly an abuser, just be aware, trust your feelings, and talk to,  listen and observe your children.

• Anonymous

  that doesn’t negate your responsibility to protect your own children

• Anonymous

  Dr. Steele:
  Your letter was inspiring, so much that I was able, today, to finally convince a victim to come forward with facts related to being sexually exploited by a deceased Bangor big-wig.  Your genuine words made a mark on both of us.
  Thank you!  

• Anonymous

  Thank you so much Dr. Steele. This is the kind of open dialogue adults must have in order to rescue and protect the children who are waiting to be rescued and protected. 
   
  Last summer, three wonderful young men rode their bycycles across the country to help raise awareness about the sexual abuse of children. The mainstream media refused to help. 
   
  I hope and pray the mainstream media will help now. Here’s one of the videos those three wonderful young men produced:
   
    http://juliafletcher.wordpress.com/2010/08/29/pedal-for-prevention-3/

• Anonymous

  sorry top say 17 is not a child. lets look at the amount of teenagers that have gotten  pregnant. A teacher in a position of trust is a horse of a different color, like a police officer, minister, etc. But these kids know exactly what is going on. They are a year or less from voting.  If I sound like an ogre, let it be, but we are in a new time era, and era of Internet, TV, suggestive commercials everything is against morals. Roll with the flow or stop the presses and media.

• 02b9c

  Reading some of these comments is testament itself that we are getting better at fighting child pedophiles… i think people are finally realizing that scars run alot deeper then people realized…taking the innocence of the body is one thing…. but taking the innocence of the mind is totally another alltogether….i just hope that people can get therapy and remove the scales of filth mentally and try and get back self worth and personal dignity…. i too was abused.

• Anonymous

  Agree.  I also “met Bob Carlson on occasion and always felt there was something not quite right”.  My gut told me to act on those feelings and I’m glad I did.  Not all exploiters can be protected forever, regardless of their involvement in community and their choice to end their life!

• Anonymous

  My child is grown and was protected.  I did my job.  If a doctor has knowledge of a pedophile, it is his responsibility to protect other children.  Why is this point so hard to get across?  This man might be molesting a child as I write this post!  He was a teacher, for Pete’s sake!  How many victims did he have?  How many does he continue to have?

• Anonymous

  “Until the victims are able to speak without fear of the consequences…”
  NOW is the time to come forward, people…while, according to the media, there is an open investigation.  NOW.

• Anonymous

  Dr. Steele your thoughts are wonderfully written and truly insightful and I hope that they help others as well as yourself!

• Anonymous

  Thank you Eric Steele! What you have shared is so right on the mark! I’ve been down a similar road to the one you described. Lately I have been doing what needs to be done and that is to  break through the “normalcy bias” by speaking-out and writing-out to break open “the cone-of-silence and denial” that surrounds the sexual abuse of children….Roger Merchant  

• Anonymous

  I think it was very brave of you to disclose your secret.  It’s unfortunate that the very people we trust aren’t worthy of it and, in fact, grossly abuse and use that trust to commit their acts of abuse.  It’s a scary reality that, I believe, happens all too often in rural places like Maine and is kept concealed by denial and justification.  Thank you for speaking out.

• Anonymous

  From the time I was 8 years old until I was 11, my sisters and I were abused by a local man whose family was well-known in the community.  When the “secret” came out the local sheriff was called and we were each interrogated about what had happened.  We thought the bad man was going to go to jail.  That is not what happened.  It wasn’t until years later that we learned that the sheriff and our parents mutually agreed that it would be best to just let this pass and keep an eye on the man to make sure it didn’t happen again.  Guess what…it happened again..and again..and again.  Imagine how the mind of a young child might conclude that they were at fault for the abuse, or that they just didn’t matter enough for the bad man to have to pay for his actions.  If your children come to you to tell you their “secret” please honor them by believing them and taking definitive action.

• Anonymous

  You are absolutely correct.  The man should be reported.

• Lori Handrahan

  I agree. Amen. Please support Saving Mila–my daughter has been sexually
  abused since she was two years old in the State of Maine and no one has
  done a thing to stop it–least of all Child Protection.  God bless. Thank you for listening.

• Anonymous

  I have the utmost respect for Dr. Steele and I am sure that he will do what is right to make sure his old secret will not become another young person’s painful secret.
  Thank you Dr. Steele.

• Anonymous

  Well written & thought provoking.  Thank You!

• Anonymous

  Been there,my grandfather. Started at age seven,ended at 13. My wonderful mother knew about it and did NOTHING!

• Anonymous

  please for your daughters sake keep fighting ! KEEP TELLING YOUR STORY!Keep dated records of every visit ,every conversation ,take witnesses if possible.Keep all paper work safe guarded. Don’t let them have the originals of any thing for any reason.Demand copies of all reports done on you and your child,medical or other wise.Get everything in writing.The State of Maine’s “DHHS,Child Protective Services”is very deceitful and will try to cover up their wrong doings.What they demand of you or tell you is not necessarily justifiable according to the law.You and your child have rights contrary to what they’ll try to make you believe.Where is the child’s guardian ad litem ? Know that there is a higher power who see’s all and knows all.Most of all stay strong in the face of adversity.Their day of reckoning is coming.The more that sexual abuse is brought to light in this world the better chance for the victims to come forward without being/feeling guilty,disgraced,humiliated,fearful and abandoned .The victim is not the one in the wrong and should not be persecuted as such.The abuser is excellent in manipulation and deception gaining the trust of many easily.It’s detrimental to a victim to be blown off when they do come forward by self absorbed parents/those in authority over them,those that have the power to protect,etc.There are always red flags.Keep your eyes open.Be a good steward of the life that you have been blessed with.

• Anonymous

  Isn’t it a shame how our system works?It’s supposed to do good to protect the innocent.Not only are our children being abused by these perverts,they feel dirty,worthless,abandoned and violated on all levels by all that are supposed to make them feel safe because there’s little or no accountability for the perpetrator.

• Anonymous

  some of the above comments were directed at LORI HANDRAHAN’S comments about saving her daughter Mila

• Anonymous

  Thank you Dr. Steele. Thank you for speaking out for many of us who still can’t speak about what was taken away as a child. If I could only learn to trust again but that was broken so long ago. I pray that one day, I too can overcome just as you have Dr. Steele.

• HowdyNeighbor

  A sex abuse detective once told me: “I never let my children spend the night with others and I never let any child spend the night at our house. That protects my children from being abused and protects me from being falsely accused.”

  After one of our children was abused by a family friend (two other relatives were also abused – one by a relative and another by a middle school teacher), we took it a few steps further. We never let our children be alone with any man, friend or relative (what adult male needs to be alone with any child for any reason?) and we made sure no child was ever left alone with any adult male in our own home (to prevent false accusations). We also homeschool our youngest children now (have you read the headlines about sex abuse in schools these days?!) I believe these extreme measures have protected and will protect our other children from being sexually assaulted.

  Believe me – every parent of an abused child wishes they’d taken measures like these in the past, too.

• HowdyNeighbor

  Dr. Steele,

  You need to alert authorities. That monster is very likely abusing his grandchildren!

• Anonymous

  First to Dr. Steele; Outstanding and spot-on.  HowdyNeighbor, you and the “sex abuse detective” are equally spot-on about the “extreem measures” required to protect your children.  When 93% of sexually abused children are assaulted by family (34%) and acquaintences (59%), one begins to see the necessity for this level of vigilance.  It should be sharply in focus by the fact that more than 95% of those arrested for sex crimes have never been convicted of a sex crime and so can’t be on any registry to warn you.  To my constant admonishment to watch your child, I should add – protect yourself!  One of the best reality based articles and comments I’ve seen in a long time.