FENWICK, Conn. – Barbara Van Itallie, 91, died Thursday, March 10, 2011, at her home after a brief illness. She was born in Bangor, the fourth child of Dr. James Francis and Mary Christine Burns Cox. Her father, orphaned in early childhood, grew up in Houlton, in the home of Father Lonergan, a Catholic priest. He was an exceptional baseball player at Georgetown and Bowdoin, and turned down offers to play professionally to study medicine. He established a successful practice in Bangor, serving as chief of surgery at Eastern Maine General Hospital. Her mother, descended from Irish settlers who came to Atlantic Canada in the 1840s on her mother’s side and Maine in the 1860s on her father’s, grew up in Bangor and attended the Academy of the Sacred Heart, New York City.
Barbara’s childhood home at 159 Union St., Bangor, an 1835 Greek Revival house designed by the noted architect Richard Upjohn, is today the Thomas A. Hill House and Civil War Museum. She had three brothers, James, Andrew and Evan, and one sister, Joan, all of whom predeceased her. Her mother died in 1929, when she was 9 and her father in 1942, when she was 22. She attended Bangor High School graduating in 1937, and Manhattanville College, New York City, graduating in 1941. She studied secretarial skills at Katharine Gibbs School, Boston, and worked as an assistant to an army officer. In 1944, with both older brothers in European combat in the Army, Barbara joined the American Red Cross and was assigned to the Pacific Theatre. She served in the Philippines and Japan with the Services to the Armed Forces division of the American Red Cross. The Services to the Armed Forces counseled servicemen and women overseas, facilitated communications with their families at home, organized social events and distributed food and supplies. She returned to the United States in 1946. In Japan she met Dr. Theodore B. Van Itallie, then a Navy lieutenant, and they married Sept. 25, 1948, in Franklin Lakes, N.J. They later moved to Englewood, N.J., where they raised five children, Lucy Borge of New York City, Theodore Jr. of Princeton, N.J., Christina Van Itallie of Bethesda, Md., Elizabeth Van Itallie of Hoboken, N.J., and Katharine Van Itallie of New York City. The marriage ended in divorce in 1989. Barbara was a longtime resident of Fenwick, Conn. At her waterfront home she presided over frequent gatherings of her children and grandchildren, dispensing affection and attention to all. She nurtured strong, special relationships with each of her five children, their spouses and each grandchild. She was a superb cook and hostess, and a graceful dancer, swimmer and golfer. She loved reading novels, history and biography, listening to classical music and watching the changeable seascape. She was devoted to her friends and neighbors in the Fenwick, Conn., community. She served on the borough of Fenwick’s, Conn., zoning board of appeals and volunteered at Fenwick (Conn.) Archives of Old Saybrook Historical Society. She was a member of the parish of St. John’s Catholic Church, Old Saybrook, Conn.
In addition to her five children, she leaves six grandchildren, Caroline Keenan of London, Emily Anderson of New York City, Elizabeth Van Itallie of Houston, Texas, Gina Morrow of Poughkeepsie, N.Y., Michael Van Itallie of Brunswick and Jackson Morrow of Hoboken, N.J.; and one great-grandchild, Zoe Keenan of London.
In lieu of flowers, donations should be sent to Lynde Point Land Trust, P.O. Box 126, Old Saybrook, CT 06475-0126.