Julie Murchison Harris

Community News Editor

 
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU CURVES

10 Things I’ve learned about myself while cooking for one

on March 07, 2016, at 11:12 a.m.
For dinner the other night, I had two slices of artisan bread with slices of Parmesan cheese melted on them, black grapes, chocolate Chex dry out of the box and orange juice. I thought about adding a raw carrot, but I was playing Words with Friends and chatting with a friend …
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU CURVES

How grief cleaved me in two

on Feb. 28, 2016, at 6 a.m.
Living with grief is like living with a darker twin sister with whom you share genetics but no real characteristics, values or traits. I am basically a glass-is-half-full kind of person. I find the positives in situations and nurture them to blossom into something good. I have a strong Christian …
Community

January births in Bangor

By Julie Harris on Feb. 26, 2016, at 5:14 p.m.
Eastern Maine Medical Center, Bangor   To Jessica and Jonathan Ingraham, Bangor, a son, Jackson John Robert Ingraham, on Jan. 21, 2016. To April and William Falkenstern, Ellsworth, a daughter, Bonnie Lynn Falkenstern, on Jan. 15, 2016. This post was contributed by a community member. Submit your news →
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU CURVES

No hero to rescue me means I have to figure out how to save myself

on Feb. 21, 2016, at 6 a.m.
My husband Jim and I had a deal: he would rescue me from spiders and beetles and I would rescue him from snakes. We were each other’s heroes. Little spiders don’t bother me much, although they should because I was bitten by one once that made me very ill. It’s …
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU CURVES

Forget the holiday flowers: Every day was Valentine’s to my sweetheart and me

on Feb. 14, 2016, at 6 a.m.
My husband Jim never bought me flowers on Valentine’s Day. He would buy them before or after, and often throughout the rest of the year, but he resented the price markup on Valentine’s Day. Candy, yes. Flowers, no. I didn’t care. I was sure about his feelings for me. Jim, …
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU CURVES

Forget the holiday flowers: Every day was Valentines to my sweetheart and me

on Feb. 14, 2016, at 6 a.m.
My husband Jim never bought me flowers on Valentine’s Day. He would buy them before or after, and often throughout the rest of the year, but he resented the price markup on Valentine’s Day. Candy, yes. Flowers, no. I didn’t care. I was sure about his feelings for me. Jim, …
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU CURVES

Why I don’t want to remove my wedding ring

on Feb. 07, 2016, at 6 a.m.
I still wear my wedding ring. Though I have been widowed for five years now, my wedding ring is symbolic of the love I still share with my soulmate and husband Jim, who died in 2010 of pancreatic cancer. It’s the unbroken circle, a promise to love each other forever. …
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU CURVES

What’s left behind: How my husband’s pocket junk revived old grief

on Jan. 31, 2016, at 6 a.m.
I opened the box filled with my husband Jim’s “pocket junk” and bric a brac from the kitchen. I’d filled it shortly after he died of pancreatic cancer in December 2010, and then tucked it away. But now, it was time to sort through it, save what I must, and …
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU CURVES

Am I alone? The reality of sickness in life after a spouse’s death

on Jan. 18, 2016, at 2:50 p.m.
About 13 months after my husband Jim died, I fell hard on the ice. Not thinking too much of it — this is Maine, after all — I didn’t go directly to the hospital by ambulance. I got up with help from coworkers and went to a meeting. Only later …
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU CURVES

The art of coming home to an empty house

on Jan. 11, 2016, at 1:32 p.m.
I don’t know why Fridays are the worst; the house is just as empty every other day of the week. But the feeling of dread that starts as a seed when I leave work on Fridays grows into a boulder that lodges solidly in my gut the closer I get …
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU CURVES

A lesson on living from a good friend and snowman snow

on Jan. 04, 2016, at 3:48 p.m.
We had just buried my husband Jim in mid-December 2010, and I didn’t want to bother with a Christmas tree. My Dad wouldn’t hear of it and tramped through his woods behind his house, finding me a beautiful tree. Dad and Mom helped me put it in its stand and …
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU CURVES

How I will embrace positive changes in 2016

on Dec. 28, 2015, at 12:51 p.m.
When the ball drops at midnight on Jan. 1, 2016, it will usher in a new year — and one, I’ve decided, will be a year of transition for me. While we can’t change the past, and there are things that will remain foremost in my mind no matter what I …
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU CURVES

The perfect tree that got away

on Dec. 21, 2015, at 11:30 a.m.
Even before my husband Jim passed away, the Christmas season was always a time of mixed emotion in our household. Memories of a couple of deaths of close family members in December years ago dampened what otherwise should be a time of good cheer, but Jim and I always did …
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU CURVES

Finding my new place among the pews in ‘widows’ row’

on Dec. 14, 2015, at 10:38 a.m.
Julie Harris: We weren’t just a group of widows; we were a group of Christian women who relied on faith for our strength.
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU CURVES

The fifth anniversary of the day my life changed forever

on Dec. 07, 2015, at 1:12 p.m.
Note to Readers: The following is a deeply emotional post and may be difficult for some to read. Today, Dec. 7, 2015, is the fifth anniversary of the day we lost Jim’s battle with pancreatic cancer. Ironically, it was a battle we didn’t know we were fighting. We knew we …
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU CURVES

How ‘Quincy Time’ led me toward a path of healing

on Nov. 30, 2015, at 1:35 p.m.
I, like my dogs, have become a master of escape. Instead of trying to get out of my physical confinement though, I do my best to avoid what has become my reality — a life without Jim, my husband and soulmate. I use lots of mechanisms for escape but my …
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU CURVES

Trading an empty chair at home for a place at the counter

on Nov. 23, 2015, at 3:27 p.m.
The menu lay closed on the counter before me. I didn’t need to look at it to know what I wanted — I already knew the whole menu by heart. Still, just in case, I glanced at the specials board in the dining area of my favorite hidden gem restaurant …
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU CURVES

Of mouse traps and everyday things

on Nov. 16, 2015, at 10:07 a.m.
I still live in the old farmhouse where Jim and I made a home together. In our house every fall, we could count on the rush of field vermin that wanted to cozy up with us for the winter. Mice, small field rats, squirrels and chipmunks all found our house’s …
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU CURVES

How a puppy named Thistle saved my life

on Nov. 09, 2015, at 4:42 p.m.
In the first few weeks after my husband Jim died, my grief counselor thought I might follow him to the grave. She wasn’t worried about suicide; she was worried that my broken heart was in too many pieces to reassemble. It wasn’t even that I had given up. It was …
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU CURVES

Sorting through my past to find my future

on Nov. 02, 2015, at 10:17 a.m.
When my husband died, my identity was ripped in half, and for the longest while I didn’t know what to do about that or who I was.