Articles by Emmet Meara


What the Wayside Inn could have been

By Emmet Meara on Jan. 06, 2012, at 7:13 p.m.
Real estate hot-shot Julian Rubenstein knew what he was doing. He wouldn’t even show me the Wayside Inn, up for sale in Martinsville, part of the majestic peninsula that is St. George. Instead, he took me to Martinsville Beach, an isolated sandy plot a five minute walk from the house. …

New Year’s in Estonia?

By Emmet Meara on Dec. 30, 2011, at 10:52 a.m.
Where are you going for New Year’s Eve? I simply cannot decide. Texas Larry is coming to town and he wants to go back to Conte’s for old time’s sake and a huge platter of haddock. But we did that last year when Jeff and lovely Sandra showed up, unexpectedly. …

Fat is a relative thing

By Emmet Meara on Dec. 23, 2011, at 6:33 p.m.
Yes, it’s true. I am a fat pig. But somehow, I have lived to be 71 years old, while many of my fellow road warriors dropped out of the race last year. My favorite doctor tells me that my blood pressure is acceptable, even though not as low as he …

Lottery tickets or banner photography career?

By Emmet Meara on Dec. 16, 2011, at 1:54 p.m.
I despise Walter Iooss Jr. with all my heart. When you were young (remember?) what did you want to do with your life? Become an astronaut? A firefighter? A Wall Street thief? Or play center field for the Red Sox? I knew what I wanted to be the first time …
Emmet Meara

Men’s Journal offers little for 99-percenters

By Emmet Meara on Dec. 09, 2011, at 11:31 a.m.
I have, unfortunately, never been a one-percenter. If I had $5 in my pocket, I always wanted to spend it before I went to bed. If there was a chance at any money at all, it vanished when I jumped into the red-hot Florida land market 36 hours before it …

Case of the exploding stove

By Emmet Meara on Dec. 02, 2011, at 10:57 p.m.
I believe that General Electric has declared war on Cobb Manor. I have never heard of an electric range exploding without provocation. Mine has, twice, in a few months. Several months ago, I was doing one of my most outstanding culinary tricks, boiling water for spaghetti. I was gazing absentmindedly …

Hiding under the covers leads to a Pats win

By Emmet Meara on Nov. 18, 2011, at 1:41 p.m.
Thankfully, my personal psychiatrists Frank Renew and Larry Ouellette were in Florida and Texas, respectively. If they had been at Cobb Manor on Sunday night, they would have recommended some severe action — pharmaceutical or institutional. I don’t know why I care so much about that band of football Hessians …

On losing your motherboard (whatever that is)

By Emmet Meara on Nov. 04, 2011, at 4:28 p.m.
It was like a death in the family, sort of. After returning from a birthday celebration in Portland on Sunday, I turned on my trusty Sony laptop to update my vital emails. Nothing. It couldn’t be! I had left the laptop home, rather than schlep it to Portland and back. …

Ruining every holiday, starting with Thanksgiving

By Emmet Meara on Oct. 28, 2011, at 4:42 p.m.
I once serenaded the newly divorced Mark with my rendition of “Home for the Holidays” one Christmas Eve. He returned the favor the next Thanksgiving with the worst gravy you ever saw. Ever since, the basic tenet of Cobb Manor living has been “Ruin every Sunday, ruin every holiday.” I …

Stuffing: The good, the bad and the bad for you

By Emmet Meara on Oct. 21, 2011, at 4:34 p.m.
All right. I am an addict. The first step toward recovery comes from admission, they tell me. I am powerless. I am a card-carrying couch potato, but I will even go out in the rain and snow to get some when I run out. I try to keep as much …

Rockland, the new coastal vacation destination

By Emmet Meara on Oct. 14, 2011, at 5:09 a.m.
Has Rockland become a bigger tourist destination than Camden?Such an idea would have been unthinkable a short few years ago when Rockland had a fish meal plant that turned out a baked vomit smell along the waterfront, and a putrid dump smell that polluted its inland.(I once had a Rankin …

Festival accommodating to Maine documentaries

By Emmet Meara on Oct. 07, 2011, at 4:21 p.m.
It was the seventh year of the Camden International Film Festival and I thought it was high time to explore this cultural phenomenon, right under my nose. Ben Fowlie and his crew had assembled a bewildering array of documentaries from Russia, Poland, Portugal and Belgium, just for starters. I decided …

A Patriot among Buffaloes

By Emmet Meara on Sept. 30, 2011, at 5:15 p.m.
For this, we drove 1,000 miles? It seemed like the 68,174 Buffalo-area residents had it out for Waldo Walt and myself and planned to kill us. They elbowed, punched, kicked and shoved us to and fro. And the noise. I have never stood at the end of Logan Airport runway …

Jefferson Phil gets a special birthday treat

By Emmet Meara on Sept. 23, 2011, at 4:46 p.m.
Jefferson Phil leads a charmed life, if you exclude that pesky heart attack a few weeks ago. For reasons unknown, he is always surrounded by gorgeous women, plus he is good for at least a half-dozen columns a year. JP should be writing this newspaper column because he always, always, …

Remembering a longtime midcoast journalist

By Emmet Meara on Sept. 16, 2011, at 1:46 p.m.
Mike Brown wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea. That didn’t bother him much. In fact, I think he liked it. Brown lived, worked and died on the coast of Maine. He wrote a newspaper column after working as editor at both the Camden Herald and the Belfast Journal. Of course, there …

A cynical WWII movie review

By Emmet Meara on Sept. 09, 2011, at 11:41 p.m.
I simply assumed that I had seen every single movie about WWII, the last “good war.” I was wrong. Half asleep, I caught the middle of “Play Dirty” on television last week. It looked incredibly cynical. Naturally, I researched it, then rented the 1968 sleeper from Netflix. I never expect …

Goodnight Irene

By Emmet Meara on Sept. 02, 2011, at 1:12 p.m.
The Weather Channel owes me a refund. I know, Hurricane Irene was still a bad storm that killed more than 40 people, cost around $7 billion in damage and cut Vermont a new terrain. But still. I live in Camden. I had a twig in the Cobb Manor driveway when …

The lure of the ‘nation’s attic’

By Emmet Meara on Aug. 19, 2011, at 1:56 p.m.
You just knew it was going to happen. When those 33 Chilean miners were rescued from a dark, underground death, their gear went to the Smithsonian Museum in the nation’s capital. Where else? The Washington, D.C., institution is often called “The nation’s attic.” The museum’s Natural History wing now has …

A need for speed and efficiency

By Emmet Meara on Aug. 12, 2011, at 10:16 p.m.
The time has come for a serious decision. A very serious decision. I love my galumping V8, four-wheel-drive Tundra, not only for its roomy interior but also for its ability to haul heavy loads, such as David Grima, across the country. When I make my annual pilgrimage to spring training, …

In search of ‘The Judge’

By Emmet Meara on Aug. 05, 2011, at 3:39 p.m.
It took me 60 years, but I finally found “The Judge” this week. I have had nightmares about “The Judge” ever since I was 10 years old and saw a movie about a faceless killer who stalked Los Angeles when it rained. All right, it wasn’t a great movie, maybe …
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