Articles by Emmet Meara


Rockland used to be tough — now it’s a tourist trap

By Emmet Meara on March 06, 2017, at 3:06 p.m.
Rockland used to have motorcycle gangs, daily fights in the Dory Lounge and weekend brawls that filled the Monday pages. Murders were hardly rare.

Careless comment upset the weather gods

By Emmet Meara on Feb. 13, 2017, at 11:31 a.m.
It’s all my fault. I’m sorry.
Emmet Meara

Those old sneakers in the closet could be worth a fortune

By Emmet Meara on Feb. 06, 2017, at 2:50 p.m.
If you think your old baseball cards were a lost fortune, wait till you hear about the price for old sneakers. The RESALE market is worth another billion (with a b). You might have a fortune under your bed.
New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady (12) after defeating the Pittsburgh Steelers 36-17 in the 2017 AFC Championship Game at Gillette Stadium.

Tom Brady needs to live it up and have a beer, hot dog

By Emmet Meara on Jan. 30, 2017, at 12:26 p.m.
Have you seen his diet and lifestyle? That is a high price to pay, my friend.
"I am a total addict. There is no 12-step program for me. I am on my own as the veil of addiction settles over my life. I know others who are addicted, just not as bad. I cannot stop. I cannot help myself. It isn’t alcohol. It isn’t drugs. It isn’t even Ben & Jerry’s vanilla bean ice cream. It’s solitaire. Now you don’t even need a deck of cards to play, just a smartphone."

I’m hopelessly addicted to a card game

By Emmet Meara on Jan. 02, 2017, at 11:37 a.m.
“I am a total addict. There is no 12-step program for me. I am on my own as the veil of addiction settles over my life.”

A warm Reuben and warm potato salad please, warden

By Emmet Meara on Dec. 26, 2016, at 11:25 a.m.
“Tell the warden at Maine State Prison: My last meal will be a Reuben and warm German potato salad from Morse’s. And a beer, if you could spare it.”

Wallowing in gloom

By Emmet Meara on Nov. 14, 2016, at 1:11 p.m.
My fabulous granddaughter remarked that she will be 20 years old when Trump leaves the White House if he serves eight years.
"Tsundoku" is defined as the “condition of acquiring reading materials but letting them pile up in one’s home without reading them.

Why I’m embracing my addiction to books

By Emmet Meara on Oct. 31, 2016, at 11:24 a.m.
Emmet Meara: I must have 150 books piled on the floor after the bookcases were removed years ago.
Emmet Meara

Rolling Stone’s top 100 TV shows list doesn’t square with Cobb Manor Index

By Emmet Meara on Oct. 17, 2016, at 11:44 a.m.
Emmet Meara: Alright. I’m 75, and I am still reading Rolling Stone. Sue me.
Allagash Falls

After falling 40 feet over Allagash Falls, this man has a story to tell

By Emmet Meara on Oct. 10, 2016, at 12:07 p.m.
Walter Mastropietro is the luckiest SOB alive. Or maybe the unluckiest man alive. You decide.
Emmet Meara

Man who went over Allagash Falls and lived is my new hero

By Emmet Meara on Sept. 05, 2016, at 1:10 p.m.
My bucket list now includes sharing a very cold beer with Walter J. Mastropietro before I die. We have a lot to talk about.
Abercrombie & Fitch cargo shorts.

They’ll have to pry the cargo shorts off my cold, dead behind

By Emmet Meara on Aug. 29, 2016, at 12:10 p.m.
Singer Bonnie Raitt arrives at the 58th Grammy Awards in Los Angeles, Feb. 15, 2016.

Sorry, Bonnie Raitt. I’m done dealing with people who talk during concerts.

By Emmet Meara on Aug. 22, 2016, at 12:17 p.m.
I shall spend no more time with the concert blowhards, not even for Raitt. Unless she decides to play on the Cobb Manor deck.
Emmet Meara

Mercy killing of birch tree like losing another friend

By Emmet Meara on Aug. 15, 2016, at 12:05 p.m.
Emmet Meara

Summer party at my place is now known as Hammerfest

By Emmet Meara on Aug. 08, 2016, at 11:16 a.m.
Emmet Meara: It’s been a Cobb Manor tradition for three decades. Apparently, we must have a deck party to celebrate every Maine Lobster Festival.
A few lobsters can be seen at the University of Maine in Orono in this March 2015 file photo.

Here’s why I have never eaten a lobster

By Emmet Meara on Aug. 01, 2016, at 10:23 a.m.
I have never eaten a lobster in my life. It seems likely that I shall pass from the Earth without tasting one. It all goes back to 129 Perham St. in West Roxbury.
Emmet Meara

Michael Moore’s latest movie hits Americans where we don’t live

By Emmet Meara on July 25, 2016, at 1:57 p.m.
Moore might be fat and sloppy. He might have a mustard stain on his shirt. He stomps all over his message for two hours, but I think it might be productive to study the lessons of other countries if we truly profess to love our own.
This piece of strawberry pie is among the dessert offerings Helen's had available to patrons when it reopened in Machias, May 19, 2015.

The pie at Helen’s Restaurant is worth the trip Down East

By Emmet Meara on July 18, 2016, at 9:42 a.m.
Emmet Meara: That’s it. I am selling Cobb Manor, lock, stock and lawn mower. I am moving to Machias, eating at Helen’s Restaurant three meals a day and marrying a waitress at the famous, revived eatery on the Machias River.
Emmet Meara

Forget what your mom said. Let your kids stay up late and swear.

By Emmet Meara on July 11, 2016, at 11:09 a.m.
According to our new pals at YourTango, the three mortal sins of sloth, swearing and staying up late are now considered signs of unusual intelligence, like mine.
Emmet Meara

Ever have one of ‘those days’? I know them all too well.

By Emmet Meara on July 04, 2016, at 12:07 p.m.
I don’t know about you, but I have one of “those days” a little too often.