DEXTER, Maine — Several parents and grandparents expressed their anger and frustration about the severity — or lack thereof — of punishments handed out to 12 Dexter Regional High School football players for their roles in an alleged hazing incident.
The SAD 46 board of directors and Superintendent Kevin Jordan listened to the parents during a scheduled meeting on Wednesday evening at Ridge View Community School.
“I don’t think it’s right or fair,” said one parent. “These kids are supposed to be role models.”
No parent wished to be identified in order to protect their children.
During an overnight gathering at the high school on Friday, Nov. 16, several upperclassmen of the football team attacked underclassmen of the team, said Jordan.
He said there were five such incidents. The first occurred at 4:30 p.m. on Nov. 16, while the other four happened between 4:30 and 5:15 a.m. on Nov. 17. Three of the five incidents were caught on the school’s video surveillance system.
Dexter police are still investigating the incident, said Sgt. Alan Grinnell on Tuesday.
For their roles, 12 students were suspended from school and were barred from participating in competitive afterschool events.
Many of those students are now on the wrestling and basketball teams.
Four students were suspended from school for 10 days, two were suspended seven days and six were suspended for one day, said Jordan.
Those punishments weren’t severe enough, according to several parents.
“It seems like a slap on the wrist to the ringleaders,” said one parent.
The same parent said that some students were bragging about how light the punishment was.
“There were several students making jokes about how little the punishment is. It’s like getting a vacation,” said the mother.
“If any kids want 10 days off, ‘They say I can do this and I can do that, I’ll get 10 days off,’” said a grandmother during the meeting. “They need more than 10 days and no sports until spring time.”
Jordan said that some parents of suspended students told him that the suspension had been a “severe hardship on their child.”
“What about the poor kid that got beat?” one parent asked.
Another parent stated that she had heard about students thinking hazing was a joke.
“One kid punched another in the arm and said, ‘hazed,’ and walked away. That’s not funny. It’s a joke [to them] now,” she said.
Two parents gave details about what happened to their children that night.
One mother said her son had his pants pulled down while three players took turns hitting his backside with a polycarbonate bat.
“It’s not the yellow bat at Walmart,” said a parent after a meeting.
“The boy that hit my child backed up several feet and made him pull his pants down and ran six or seven feet to get more on his hit,” she said.
The boy’s grandmother said he was left with bruises.
One woman added that some of the perpetrators outweighed the victims by as much as 80 pounds.
Another mother said at the meeting that these weren’t good kids who did a bad thing, but instead carefully planned the attacks.
“It was a pattern of enjoyment to hit those who were younger and smaller than them,” said a member of the audience.
Jordan said several steps will be taken to try to curb future hazing incidents. He added that Dexter’s hazing policy already follows state law.
A student at the University of Maine will speak to grades 6-12 about his experience with hazing to the students. Other measures also are being planned, he said.
Jordan said the board would look at the possibility of no longer doing any overnight activities.
One of the parents who expressed anger over what she said were weak punishments doesn’t agree.
“The event was fine, the boys had all kinds of fun [before the incidents],” she said.
She also didn’t hold the coaches accountable.
“There’s not one parent who holds the coaching staff responsible for this,” she said. “Why would he even suspect that a few of these boys would go and do this?”
After the public discussion, the board went into executive session to discuss the events in further detail.
Hey Dexter parents, do you really want to get your administration and board’s attention? Just tell them that you want those children who suffered these beatings to have the choice of staying in a school that allowed them to be beaten or have SAD 46 pay tuition to send them to Dover, Nokomis, or Guilford. Administrator’s heads always pop to attention when you start talking money. Othewise all they hear is background noise.
I think the kids who did the hazing should NOT be allowed to play sports for the remainder of their year. But, what a shame it would be to ruin Dexters fabulous sports record. They should take this opportunity to set a serious example to ensure it doesnt happen EVER again!!!!
I agree 100%!
Alot of the problem stems from the erosion of respect / fear that our Teachers Used to have, Kids get away with crap at schools all day long and think they can get away with anything.Teachers fear the kids, afraid if they even touch the kids arm, could be sued, Sexual Harassment, Etc. … It’s BS… I Graduated Dexter High in the late 70’s and at the beginning of my Senior yr there was a dance,Which I went to after Skipping School that Day, A Teacher Saw me, Kicked me out of the dance. On Monday, I Ended up being Banned from all Dances, no after school activities and 5 Days of In School Suspension. Couldn’t leave that Little Room with only one Window (the Door) only to use the restroom, They even brought me my Lunch. 8:20 am – 2:20 pm for 5 days gave you a lot of time to think!
Where do you think that the “erosion of respect/fear” comes from? The parents. Parents should be held accountable for the actions of their minor children, not the school. It’s not the school’s responsibility to teach your kid manners, respect, responsibility, it’s yours.
There is no discipline at home anymore. People have children for sport, and are then to busy to teach them anything.
The erosion of respect comes from our culture of thinking we have a right to say anything we want to anyone at all at anytime we want. Look at our governor if you’d like a perfect example of crassness: telling Pres. Obama to “Go to hell”, telling the Naacp to “Kiss my butt”, getting in office and sticking his finger in workers eye by removing the mural, whining about the fact that he is being filmed IN PUBLIC and calling the filmer paperrazzi, calling the IRS the gestapo etc. He uses outrageous language and there’s people out here who think it’s all a-ok.
I think the USA bullies the rest of the world (we are continually beating up on one country or another since WWII) and many folks believe we have to be bullies to the rest of the planet to insure our way of life. We are setting an example whether we want to or not. We actually kill people under the excuse of bring peace to the planet!
Does everything fave to be political?
What the heck does the Governor or Obama have to do with what happened here????
Obama has nothing to do with what happened here. He is neither coarse nor crass. Governor LePage is both. The leader of our state has set a poor example. And yes, everything is, in fact, political. Hazing, you might have noticed, is in the political discourse. I posted my response to TacRecon882 when he asked where the erosion of respect comes from. It comes from folks like Gov. LePage.
You need a life
You need to face up to reality.
They are being used as examples. People we should be looking up to are not behaving in a manner suitable to be an example – unless it’s a bad example. What’s the form of punishment in the home these days” Take a time out. Yea. That does a lot of good.
Yup – it’s still all Bush’s fault.. Watch ..
When did this “erosion of respect” occur? In 1927, when my father was 12. He chose not to join his school’s swim team, because the older boys would hold the new boys under water until they passed out. They did this with coaches watching.
Dad finally did join the team, and went through his “hazing” two years later.
Expel the perps.
The coaches were responsible for the safety of the students in the overnight.
Not if they were not present. (unknown if they were or were not)
it is known… they were there
SERIOUSLY? If the coaches weren’t present then the school allowed these kids to be left unsupervised? It was the SCHOOL and COACHES responsibility to maintain the safety of ALL the students. Good thing I’m not one of the parents because I’d be talking to a lawyer about a lawsuit!! Forgive me now, but if this ever happened to one of my kids, the older boys wouldn’t be walking again, nevermind playing sports!!!
so your responce is to be more violent?someone gets hit in the arm,or hit with a wiffleball bat and you think they should be in a wheel chair the rest of their lives?a little over the top if you ask me.
When I was in school this little game was played “punch you in the arm”. I did not want to play I was hit several times over a period of months . I finally told the kid if you hit my one more time I will pinch you in the mouth as hard as I can. . He hit me again so I hit him so hard i loosened his front teeth (only wish I had one of those call rings) . I am the one who got suspended . I can see why some kids bring a gun to school. If some Mr. T lookalike beat you on the street would you just take it or use a weapon to defend yourself? Well some of these kids are a foot taller and twice thier weight. How would that be any different?
No other way to look at it. Kind of surprised haven’t heard about the coaches being on administrative leave while this was being investigated.
How would they be on administrative leave? They coach for one season and then have to have their contract renewed or not. They are not paid year round to coach one season.
Just wait until those ‘upperclassmen’ get into college (assuming individuals with such complete audacity to basic morals and critical thinking skills will make it that far) and become the little guys again..little do they know, their behavior is NOT tolerated outside the petty halls of high school. Forcing an individual’s pants down to beat him? I would consider that borderline sexual abuse. I’m sure the school officials wouldn’t have given such a light punishment if it were THEM who received this treatment. Absolutely unbelievable. Way to go, Dexter.
The offending students should be made to transfer for their crimes. Not the victims. The victims have already paid. Lets make an example of this.
I disagree with a transfer- they should be criminally charged and tried, but obviously the culture is such that the victims won’t press charges….so the bullies win!
Interesting edit note – two individuals “disagreed” with what I said, they must be endorsing bullying and violence – hope you folks aren’t in the school district because people like you are part of the problem.
Unfortunately, the victims will probably be harassed by these kids until the day they graduate.
What I can’t understand is why have there been no charges filed yet? The police have seen the videos what more do they need or want for proof?
This says it all:
“No parent wished to be identified in order to protect their children.”
Soft.. soft.. soft.. soft.. soft.. soft.. you all are so soft.
The kids have been punished. What else would you like to see the school do? I’d be much more interested to hear the opinions of the victims rather then the buzzing of all these helicopter parents… and grandparents.
You all do understand that you won’t be able to hover over your children their entire lives (at least I hope not).
That wasn’t real punishment. If this was your kid that had been beaten would you tell him to “Just tough it out, wimp.”
The kids probably think it was disgusting and violating. How would you feel if it happened to you?
Pulling pants down is considered sexual assault….worthy of pressing charges…
Let’s stop glossing this criminal activity over by giving it the soft label of “hazing”. These activities were bullying and assault and should be called that.
.
In the case where a child had his pants pulled down the charges could include a sex crime against a minor with the resulting requirement to register as a sex offender for life as a very real possibility.
The parents who chose not to be identified are correct in their decision. If these parents make it known the kids would be bullied even more. These victims are already embarassed enough. The zero policy on bullying is a joke, having known someone who was bullied and nothing was done. This person had to transfer schools because nothing was done even after several phone calls, emails and a meeting with school officials. These kids at dexter should be banned from all sports and afterschool activities for rest of the season. But everyone knows that wouldnt happen because sports trump everything else. If i was a parent of one of these bullies, i personally would take my child out of the activities myself.
So, Kevin, ever heard of an academic over-nighter? You know – the academic powerhouses have a fun night because of their 4.0 performance all year. Do you suppose the seniors would bother to smack the smaller kids with bats? It’s all about the physically powerful, the jocks who are lead to believe their performance on the field brings real fame to the school. Time to rethink.
Think back to high school and the athletes who thought they were big stuff. For so many of them THAT was their “glory days” and they went on to be losers in adulthood.
Simply put – what the Dexter Executive Committee decides will speak volumes about how seriously they take this incident. They may choose to simply end things by stating that students have been “punished” via suspensions, and that the school will be taking steps to educate them on hazing. This would be taking the “easy” route, and I would hope that community members would react appropriately. The entire State of Maine is aware of this incident, courtesy of local news coverage, and will be watching. I certainly hope that appropriate action (such as banning those involved from all extra curricular activities for the remainder of the year) will be administered, and that the coaches are held responsible for failing to properly supervise this “event”.
Bullying is alive and well at Dexter Regional High School.
Sorry people this is over. I am sure the kids learned a lesson from all of this. The kids payed the price for what they did, now get on with life.
That type of a response is exactly what I fear the school board will come back with. Explain that “it is over” to those young men who were humiliated and physically injured by what happened,
I guaruntee that this being broadcast all over the state, and the people all screaming is dragging this out and making it worse for the victims. Teach your child to defend himself and have some self esteem and autonomy and get over it.
So explain to me, Jersey… how does a 9th grader defend himself and “have autonomy”against 12 upperclassmen WHO ARE HOLDING HIM DOWN AND BEATING HIM WITH BATS AND HOCKEY STICKS? If one of these kids chose to “fight back”, and maybe connected a punch,, I’m pretty sure that the incident would have been much worse.
Why was a 9th grader alone with upperclassmen. Arent these football players. Do you think they are not going to get beat worse on the field. Defending is not always about punching. It is about opening your mouth and not being a victim. Your mentality is what got them beat up. Violence does not stop violence. Intelligence does. These kids are going to be picked on for years because of this.
you gotta be kidding,it is hardly over. assault charges need to be pressed on the perpetrators and the adults who were responsible for supervising the overnight event need to be held accountable.
What they learned was they can bully, intimidate, assault, and harass and get away with it – way to support violence MEplyydog!
And people wonder how incidents like Columbine High School massacre happen.
Kids bullied and pushed to the end of their rope with no help coming from the school administrators or other adults. Glad to see the parents are making it known that they are not going to put up with this type of behavior.
Dexter High needs to take alot of issues more seriously!!! My children have gone to Exeter, Garland, Dexter area schools their whole life and has come home so many times in tears because of bullying and harrassment at school and the bus and when you complain about it your brushed off and nothing is done. I feel that your financial status and last name play a Huge part in how you and your children are seen by staff and students alike. We finally moved from the area that we’ve always lived and where all our extended family is because I couldn’t stand to see my daughter hurt everyday. My children now go to Guilford and as I know ALL schools have some issues, Guilford takes bullying seriously if it is going on (confiscation of computers, detention, talks between students and parents and staff), my kids are treated by how they act ,not how they dress or what we can afford , by students and teachers!! My kids have fun and can concentrate on learning, they are much happier, wish I would’ve moved years ago!!!!!!!!!!! I really hope Dexter straightens out and gets serious about this stuff, there is alot of sex, drugs and alcohol and bullying going on there they need to stop turning a blind eye!!
LOL I worked at Guilford. If your kid was teased at one place it wont be long before it happens at another. Kids who are teased are usually easy targets. We have to raise them to not be.
Kids are absolutely going to be teased at some time and it happens at every school, my daughters get “Teased” at Guilford and know how to deal with it! I’m talking about constant “Harrassement” and nothing being done when it is brought to attention! My girls were sexually and physically harrassed on the bus by several male students, this is not just being teased about what your name rhymes with, one of my daughters was told she should kill herself to make the school happy!! This is not exceptable!!!!!!! I’d like to know what you consider an “easy target”, so what you are saying is if a child gets tormented in one school that they are most likely going to get tormented at every school because there is something wrong with them, its just going to happen to them everywhere and just except it!!!!! I teach my girls that there are NO easy targets and noone deserves to be treated badly, and to stick up for the ones that are being bullied!!! This is a sad point of view for you to have and I hope you were not a teacher, and I’m glad you are no longer employed at Guilford!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Folk have to understand that athletes are a protected species. They can do no wrong. Making a big deal over people who throw and kick ball????? They even report on sports on the televison news….I’ve never understood that… And the Dexter offenses probably have been overstated…My teachers taught me that athletics builds character..My teachers wouldn’t lie, would they? As for suspensions….Vacation time…Mom and Dad are both working and the kid is left home to chat with friends, play video games…Suspensions were a real punishment 50 years ago; they aren’t any more.
If these kids had not been athletes they would be in the youth center as we speak.
That is absolutely not true.
Not necessarily.
It’s not always necessary to participate in an athletic sport to have a conscience. Everyday, many good kids come out of schools with no more interest in sports than interest in having their eyelashes plucked out one by one. The emphasis on sports “building team players” seem ridiculous now.
IMHO, while athletics have their place and many kids benefit from them, they also have the potential to build colossal egos with little regard for anyone else but themselves. When the coaches tolerate this kind of behavior, they aid and abet it. There should be consequences stronger than a few days off (like criminal charges) and the coaches (who ought to know better) should be held accountable as well.
My son played football this year (not for Dexter but they did lose to Dexter once and won 1 too) He really enjoyed it and it really helped build his confidence. His coaches are fantastic.
Bullying is nothing but an attempt at making a feeble minded person feel better about themselves by picking on somebody else who is less able to defend themselves. It’ll be interesting to see if these few vacation days they get changes anything.
Given that some of them are still playing sports now despite what they did, I’d say their first reaction to “discipline” in this matter would be “Yawn…”
It will be interesting to see if this incident is even rememberd after the “HOLIDAY” break.
Turn the culprits over to the parents. I’m sure they can think of a better punishment.
To their own parents? The ones who carefully taught them that bullying was okay or turned a blind eye when their darling child did something this offensive? Seriously???
Home school or charter school! Get your kids out of public school!
Don’t expect much if Kevin Jordan is in charge of punishment. He has a history that should have followed him from PCHS.
It’s not just hazing punishment that’s lax…
Couple weeks suspension and then their teachers have to bend over backwards for those kids — line up their assignments, get them to them, correct them far after the fact, offer supplements so they learn what was taught while they were absent, etc.
Those students involved should have had a ten day IN SCHOOL suspension, and not allowed to participate in any after school activities. Sports, music activities, school dances and prom, those students should not be allowed to participate. However I don’t agree with those students receiving an at home school suspension.
I certainly do not condone the activities that took place but I find it funny that after reading through the comments on the story it seems as though many people are using the chance to get on the soap box and discuss how terrible athletes are and how they will grow up to be losers as HS was their glory days. I have to agree that there certainly are a bunch of losers who played HS sports and go to their Friday night football games to tell everybody who will listen how great they were and how if they hadn’t pulled their hammy they would have taken their team to states, but also i see a great deal of wonderful mothers and fathers who are extremely successful and used the lessons that they were taught through HS athletics later in life to make something of themselves. Hazing is a huge issue and needs to be nipped in the bud early. I truly feel terrible for the students who were abused as nobody should have to go through that and my thoughts and prayers are with them but to paint all athletes with such a broad brush is absurd, possibly the result of a feeling of inadequacy in their own talents or accomplishments.
kinda makes you wonder if this happens with a few students supervised in an overnight event…..what happens on a daily basis in the hallways, bathrooms, parking lot, etc… at this school. Especially to kids that are not popular and on sport teams. Sounds like not a lot has change at this school over the past 30 years since I attended……… Bullying should never be tolerated or treated lightly no matter what your last name is.
it blows my mind how much that everyone who has no idea of all the facts in these cases have alot of ideas of what is fair and not. yes it wasn’t a good thing that happened but everyone one that keeps it going(namely all the adults that is not part of it) is not helping any. thinm of the kids who are the ones that got hurt. they can’t put it behind them at all!
No more sports for the rest of their high school career. That is what happens at the college level. They should also have community service assigned during their suspension. This goes beyond bulling, this is assault!
What a bunch of panzies
Why is weird stuff like this part of sports anyway… lol. male bonding? Sounds absurd to strip another guy and paddle him, but hey, i guess if that`s what these guys are into and the school semi supports it…
Sure, the hazing should have never taken place and kids should have been better supervised and parents of the victims want to make a statement and have all 4 boys involved suspended from playing sports all year round as the say for the remainder of their high school senior year. That’s fine that they feel that way but why not feel that way for all 4 boys instead of singling out a couple of the 4 boys? What one of the parents fail to mention here is one of the 4 boys that victimized their child had spent the night at her house the very next day after she knew this particular student was one of the kids that did the hazing to her child. How come she isn’t mentioning going after this kid so much when what he did is no different than the other 3? So because one plays more sports than the other, lets give him a harsher punishment? Really? How come these parents don’t tell the whole truth of what is really going on here. I think the punishment should be the same for all 4 boys not just a few because parents feel they are top athletes and want to make a statement and set an example? They should all get the same punishment if they did the same crime in my opinion.
I think a few months of community service would be in order here……why not send these boys individually to schools to give talks to student bodies about bullying and how things can quickly get out of hand…..also, let’s have the perpetrators of these crimes apologize to their victims in a school assembly………..and then…………that should be the end of it…case closed.
And why wasn’t someone charged with assault? and other charges like restraining someone while you assault them, etc. These participants should be held accountable – a suspension is just NOT good enough. I also believe the parents should bring a civil suit.