Over the past three years I’ve listened with care to the concerns raised about the institution of marriage and the effect marriage equality might have on that institution. It sometimes seems as if the couples who might be married under the Maine marriage equality law are somehow alien, somehow essentially different than the folks who are currently married and somehow not currently present among us.
The truth is that same-sex couples and their families already live among us, and their children already go to our schools and participate in sports, bands and chorus — and all the rest. They’re not strangers at all but Mainers, like the rest of us, and contributing members of our communities. From the perspective of the Christian Church, they’re children of God, made in the image of God, baptized members of our congregations and saints and sinners — like the rest of us.
And none of that will change with the passage of Question 1. In fact, for the most part, we won’t notice any change. The only difference may be that same-sex couples and their families may breathe easier knowing that their relationships and their families can enjoy greater security and protection. And we may take comfort in knowing that they have joined us in the responsibility to uphold lifelong, monogamous commitment as one of the building blocks of a healthy society.
The failure of Question 1 would continue to impose second-class citizenship on same-sex couples and their families and deny them what we believe is best for them and for society. Domestic partnerships, which Maine law allows, are not — when measured by the way they are regarded in society or by the legal and financial benefits they bestow — the same as civil marriage. Indeed, hundreds of civil and financial benefits and protections that married, heterosexual couples enjoy under both Maine law and federal law are not offered to same-sex couples outside of civil marriage.
It is core to our Christian belief that we are all created in God’s image and, in baptism, we are all full members of the church. In many of our congregations, both here in Maine and around the country, faithful same-sex couples and their families are sharing in their local church’s life and ministry and in service to their communities. As full members of our churches and contributing citizens of Maine, these families are entitled to the rights and responsibilities of civil marriage the rest of us enjoy. I think many of us agree that stable, long-term, faithful relationships benefit the whole of society by providing social stability and a trustworthy environment for raising children. I believe that society will benefit if we include more of our community in marriage.
The Episcopal Church has a consistent record of standing for the equal treatment of all Americans under the law. This past summer our general convention voted to approve a service for the blessing of a same-sex covenant, which we will begin using in December. No priest or congregation can be required to use the service or penalized for refusing to use it. But it may be used by those clergy and congregations who choose to support faithful couples in same-sex relationships by offering God’s blessing.
Similarly, should Maine vote in favor of same-sex marriage, conscience would be protected, but the rights and responsibilities of marriage would be available to all those who seek it.
Jesus told his disciples to let go of their fear and to trust in God. We have no reason to fear our neighbors who happen to love persons of the same sex. We have every reason to encourage them to build strong loving families like those we cherish for ourselves. God will continue to care for us all.
And no matter what happens on Nov. 6, we will all be together on Wednesday at work and at school and on Sunday in church, trying to build our communities together. Fear not.
The Rt. Rev. Stephen T. Lane is the ninth bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Maine. Since 2008 he has served as chief pastor of the diocese, which consists of 65 congregations and other ministries across the state.
Rev. Lane, excellent column. Thanks for presenting the true perspective of the Christian Church.
Thank you, Reverend Lane; very thoughtful and concise.
It’s always encouraging to encounter members of the clergy willing to accept that religion must advance in step with society if it is to remain relevant. Why should any Church object to same-sex couples desiring to form a lasting union and contribute to the very framework of social stability so many Churches like to promote?
I think Bishop Lane might reply that the Episcopal Church is merely continuing to support the biblical admonition that Christians ought to welcome the stranger, advocate for the person whose rights are denied, judge not lest we also be judged, treat others the way we would want to be treated, and love our neighbors. Jesus welcomed everyone to the banquet table. So, rather than “advancing in step with society,” Bishop Lane and his church are simply remaining true to the traditions of Jesus and the Hebrew prophets. “What does the Lord require of you? To live justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.” — Micah 6:8
If all other Churches would abide by such scriptural traditions there would be little to argue about. Nevertheless it would appear that as society has advanced, since Biblical times, some Churches have shown difficulty in adjusting to ever evolving realities. The resulting anachronisms have been the causes of much misery throughout human history as can still be all too clearly observed around our shrinking globe today.
Every sexuality has men and women and that is why it does not matter
which sexuality would stay alive. To make a new humanity all sexuality
are able to make kids with natural methods.
So that is why homosexuality is not unnatural. A Homosexual
men couple gets to know a female homosexualscouple and if they like
each other and got to knoe each other a long time they begin to make a
family per petting (Fingersex with sperm ) Not only heterosexuals make
children , also bisexuals with natural methods like Sex and Homosexuals
with petting. Imagine all women would die and just men survived
(heterosexual men, bisexual men , homosexual men ) men are not able to
make kids. Imagine all men would die and just women survived
(heterosexual women, bisexual women, heterosexual women) women are not
able to make kids. Imagine all human would die and just one single would stay alive. A single could not make kids. Or just singles exists. Imagine just one sexuality survived (for example =bisexuality) and all other died. Okay. There is going to be kids, again. (Bisexual means =M+F /M+M /f+f/ F+M). Imagine just one sexuality survived (for example =Homosexuality) and all other died.
Okay. There is going to be kids, again (Homosexuality means M+M/ F+F)
but there are men homosexual couples and female homosexual couples and
tehre are also men and women who are homosexual means that kids are
going to be born (trough petting). Natural Law means that
Homosexuals can reproduce. Homosexuality means that u love the same sex
and if u want children there are homosexual women (Couples) and
homosexual men couples and that is why Homosexuality is no threat to
humanity. A country full where only homosexuality exists would survive
because Homosexuality means men and women love the same sex and that
does mean that men and women are allowed to love the same sex but also
have natural methods to make kids and a family with petting and beacuse
there are men and women who are homosexual and men couples and women
couples. Reproduction has nothing to do with love. If only a strange
woman and man would survive a disaster and no one else they would likely
reproduce also if they don’t know each other , or love each other or
even like each other. A man +woman relationship feels mostly like
afrienship between the parents or do oyu have sex in front of your kids
or always kiss each other in front of the kids to proove that you as
parents love each other? LOL No way because kids also don’t like that so
much! All 4 adults live together with the kid in one house. I
mean the both homosexualcouples(Men and women) live together with the
kid and the children has a homosexual mom and a homosexual dad and the
parents also are in a realtionship with the same sex partners. There are
always 4 adults that can help the kid and work to bring the money home
and kid also learns that mom and dad like each other but also love the
same sex. If u compare it to kids of bisexuals. Kids of bisexuals know
that their parents also feel attractive to the same sex nad love it and
have a lot of gay friends.For sure! Because bisexuals also love the same
sex.
Just Strange….
Very strange indeed.
Um….what??
I’m thinking I may have destroyed some brain cells reading that.
Marco,
Thanks for showing us where this (“marriage equality”) is going…
“The truth is that same-sex couples and their families already live among us, and their children already go to our schools and participate in sports, bands and chorus — and all the rest. ”
That’s what I don’t get about the opposition. Some think that allowing same-sex marriage would mean that, only then, gay couples will start to form families. They already do. Couples already live together, many for decades, and some have children, whether adopted or biological.
Another CINO (Christian In Name Only)
Are you talking about yourself?
I believe so.
“Judge not …”
That is a good one, coming from you….
LMAO
Hmm. I may respond to those self-righteously judgmental and may sound the same, but my Biblical quote did not and does not refer to any judgement on my part. As long as you brought up that cute label I’ll merely ask you to look in the mirror. As did the Reverend.
Hrmmmm hrmmm hrmmmm
Glass houses…
Another person who thinks they can judge who a Christian is.
So is shellfish. Are you fighting against this state’s lobstermen?
Rev. Lane, Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, Thank you! God Bless you always!
We’ve been through this before. You can’t find any Biblical condemnation of SSM except in your own mind. “Judge not …”
I pray that people who hold and express that kind of condemnation, who have driven so many people to suicide, and worse…
I pray that they wake up one day and realize that they are going to someday be judged, too.
Because I’m far more concerned about their souls, about the blood on their hands, than they are obviously concerned for the welfare of the gay people who are all around us, who are not doing anybody any harm, and who are just trying to live their lives as true to themselves and their God as they can.
I certainly do not fear them. The Bible–God’s Word to His creation–says homosexuality is wrong and that marriage is to be for two people of opposite sexes. Any person–of “the cloth” or not–who promotes gay marriage is not in agreement with God. Now . . . if you don’t believe in one God and Savior, this won’t make any sense to you, anyway.
But your holy book is not civil law.
It is optional.
Well said. too bad we have an “American Taliban” among us now that wants to impose religious law on the entire country.
Last time I read the Bible, Jacob had more than one wife. I guess no one told him what God’s word said. *scratches head*
Well actually gods word says that marriage can be between a man and a couple of people. He also say that the women should marry her rapist. Soo……, by not advocated those you are not in agreement with God.
At the risk of being called out again, I’ll quote “Judge not …”. And I’m not specifying the judge.
Actually the Bible say nothing about who can get married it only gives an example of marraige. In Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book it only talks about men being drunks. That doesnt mean women aren’t. When you follow the Bible word for word, I will too.
Religion would do so much more for humanity if more people thought like this.
“Rev. can be bought”? How so? what sort of an accusation is that?
Merely quoting the Word of God does not necessarily mean understanding. Oh, and the Word of God is not limited to the Bible. You can hear it every Sunday from many pulpits, from literature, even from newpaper columns.
4lifeandfreedom
God did not call homosexuality an abomination any more than he called eating pork an abomination. it was man who did that and you know it. God Bless you for you shall be judged. How many abominations have you committed sir? Has your wife ever spoken in church? Has your child ever talked back? Have you ever worked on a Sunday? Please remember you are no better and you shall be judged. God Bless you sir.
I have no problem with marriage if it is conducted in a church or by another private entity. I have a big problem with calling this law “equity” and of the people pushing it calling it “equal rights” legislation.
Married couples enjoy over 1400 government provided benefits which singles do not get. So I guess that once gays and lesbians get these these (financially based)benefits they will no longer care about “equality” for people who do not enjoy them.
I suppose this is just human behavior. When The Irish got the right to attend Harvard they did not give much thought to the blacks and Jews who had yet to gain admittance. When the Blacks got their civil rights legislation they gave no thought to the U.S. native population who were still getting the white-man’s heel.
So here come the LBGT’s movin-on-up to the deluxe apartment in the Sky, but please spare me the equality lie. I’ve been there before.
Equality in this area means that the State gets out of the marriage business, and treats all individuals the same. That’s not gonna happen.
All of the benefits revolve around the commitment of a couple… they are not given individually. They simply cannot be applied to single people.
How will a single person combine incomes for tax purposes?
How can a single person insure their spouse has inheritance protections against taxation if they have no spouse?
Your argument is, out of the gate, based completely on false pretenses.
Ted I genuinely like you and your comments, but you and your peers above ignore reality when you use “marriage equity”. There is nothing “equal” about the current concept of marriage.
People (without the benefit of a middle ages religious rite) should be able to designate who (regardless of marital status) gets health benefits. If I work at a job where I get health benefits for my spouse, why can’t I give them to my sister? If I’m not married, that means because of my single status I get paid fewer dollars than married folk. I should be able to list the people I want at my bedside in a hospital without being related to them legally. I should pay the same income tax (based on income) as half of a married couple.
I in no way resent your desire to marry. My resentment stems from unequal treatment for people who are single for the same reason that people are gay… because I have inside me (and have since birth) a selfishness which will not allow me to share with others of any gender.
So go ahead and fight for your right to be like heterosexual couples. Good luck with that. Just don’t insult my intelligence by telling me you stand for equality. In this case you do not. You stand for your own interests…. Just like me.
That’s fine, but until then, it’s not right to maintain inequality and put the blame at the feet of those seeking equality. That’s a ridiculous assertion.
I hear this a lot. The difference here is that straight people can choose to marry or not. Even if they just want a marriage of convenience, Betty can marry Archie so that they can enjoy the benefits that single people do not get. (And some of those benefits have more to do with two people in the legal relationship than just one person alone).
Also, gays and lesbians are already legally single individuals, we know what it means to be in that boat. However, we are talking about MARRIAGE EQUALITY. You and those who believe like you introduce a different concept and then tell us we aren’t genuine because we aren’t pushing for your definition of equality. That’s bogus. That is the exact same argument that others use when they call us out for not advocating polygamy rights. These are all different issues.
If you want to fight for single-people rights, go ahead, but don’t get on our case because our struggle is not yours.
in reply to marco flaccus. ???????
in reply to Marco Flaccus ?????
Sorry hit reply twice
We aren’t asking for “your” God’s Blessing …. the Civil Marriage License issued by the State is what we are asking for.
False shepherds were foretold to us.
And the end of the world in 2012 was too…
Just as believable.
The author of the column does not qualify. I can think of a few candidates though.