I wanted to call Bob Carlson this week.
It was a near-automatic response as I began to formulate thoughts for this week’s column.
I wanted to speak to a professional person, a leader, a studier of human nature, a counselor, a trusted, spiritual person at the heart of our community.
I wanted to ask him his thoughts on the recent sentencing of a veteran Maine State Police trooper on child sexual abuse charges and the arrest of a longtime and well-known youth baseball coach in Maine and New Hampshire also accused of sexually abusing at least two young boys.
Of course, the sickening trial and ultimate conviction of Penn State assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky for multiple counts of child sexual abuse is still fresh in our minds.
But his was just the highest-profile case on the national stage. It’s happening everywhere.
Have we been so battered by such horrific betrayal that we are no longer shocked? How long before parents start eyeing suspiciously everyone who teaches, coaches, babysits, ministers or counsels their children? If they don’t, are they misguided or naive?
Greg Vrooman, the trooper sentenced earlier this week, was not the first trooper to be convicted of sex crimes against a child. There was another in 1990. There also was a Penobscot County Jail transport officer and part-time constable, a beloved music teacher in Searsport, an elementary school computer technician in Searsport, a revered businessman and World War II veteran who was convicted in 2006 at the age of 83, a kindergarten teacher from Jackman and an assistant attorney general convicted of dabbling in child porn.
We won’t even bother to mention the scandals within the Catholic Church.
Google similar stories on a national level and you might find your distrust quotient growing with each click of your mouse.
Coaches, both professional and volunteer, teachers, doctors, police officers, clergy.
Every single day across the country. Horrific violations of trust and stunned, angry and saddened community members and victims left in their wake.
How do communities push through this barrage of stories of such respected people committing such heinous crimes against the very children we entrusted them with?
My husband and I coached youth basketball at the YMCA for a few years. He actually did most of the coaching. The real teaching part.
These were little kids, kindergartners and first-graders, and I would often work with the shy one, the more hesitant one, the one who might cry if pushed too fast. The one who needed a bit more one-on-one assistance. The one who might need a hug following a goof-up.
Probably not appropriate, but I was much more a mother on the court than a coach, and I couldn’t have done it any differently.
The Y, Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts and youth athletic leagues all depend on volunteers to coach and mentor and lead. Sure, there are background checks, but I refer you to the list above. Any of them would have passed such a check.
So how does a community, how do parents balance the appropriate level of suspicion against the desire to trust?
I wanted to call Bob Carlson to ask him that.
For countless years he is who many of us went to in search of answers during challenging times and community upheaval.
He certainly was my trusted professional source on many, many occasions.
But of course, Bob, former pastor of East Orrington Church, former chaplain at Husson University, the Penobscot County Sheriff Department, the Bangor and Brewer police and fire departments and president of Penobscot Community Health Care and winner of the Katahdin Area Council of Boy Scouts of America’s 15th annual Distinguished Citizen Award, jumped to his death from the Penobscot Narrows Bridge last November amid allegations of child sexual abuse.
It used to be that a person’s reputation was the foundation of his or her level of trust and respectability in a community.
Someone who’s a good father, a good husband, a hard worker, a civic-minded leader — a police officer, a Boy Scout leader, a kindergarten teacher.
The really unbelievable thing about the Carlson story, aside from his apparent betrayal of the public trust, was that his entire life appears to have been a lie. The fact that you still feel any urge to call him “Rev. Carlson”, is just testament to how good he was at deceiving you.
http://bangor-launch.newspackstaging.com/2012/01/13/news/bangor/rev-bob-carlson-likely-his-exaggerated-credentials/
And you knew all of this before his suicide? Reread and you’ll get her point.
Gopher – did you read the first line of her essay? She said “I wanted to call Bob Carlson this week”.
That’s my whole point. The idea that she is still hanging on to some false memory of that guy as trusted anything, or a righteous person, or even an honest guy is proof of how how duped people were by his stories.
Point granted. But you should read further rahter than just headlines and first lines). By the end, you realize that all of usare on the same page. Some people, including those in positions of responsibility, are not who they seem.
Rev. Carlson was obvioulsy very good at deception. After many years of reporting, Im sure that she developed some relfex actions which she is capable of analyzing. Don’t you have some initial, gut reactions, that you may or may not write about, but have 2nd thoughts on reflection?
He was not at anytime a Reverend. People should stop addressing him as such. His papers for that title were fraudulent.
People could have known much more if reporters had delved into Carlson’s life. Made his fake credentials an issue, Ferreted out his lies, duplicity and his shenanigans.
Regular people get to take people at their word. Reporters must be cynical, disbelieving, and weary of people who sound too good to be true.
I would guess that Molly Ivin’s Mike Barnicle, or Anthony Lewis would have been all over Bob’s S—.
One normally has to have a reason to delve further into someone’s life.
What about the fact it is her job?
Mark did you know Bob Carlson? If you did, how did you know him? Did you suspect anything? If you did suspect something what was it you suspected? And if you suspected something what did you do with those suspicions?
The answer to one is no. That makes your other questions not applicable. My job does not entail investigative journalism.
I’m not sure what your point is. You seem to be very argumentative. Mine was simply a comment about Ordway’s observations, and lack of positive action.
If you disagree just say so.
Mark you made it a point to write that Ordway should have “delved into Carlson’s life” to which I responded that “One normally has to have a reason to delve further into someone’s life”. She, like many (including myself) had no reason to suspect that Bob Carlson was anyone other than who he claimed to be.
From you post it seemed that you had some “inside” information or “suspected” that Bob Carlson was not who he claimed to be. That was the reason for the questions I asked.
My only problem with this dialogue is that I have no idea why you are involved. Are you Ordway’s body guard? Do you feel she needs to be defended from my opinion?
I feel that a true journalist would seek out specifics and vet (so to speak) a man who Ordway herself admits was involved everywhere.
You disagree. I get that.
Yup I disagreed with your post. This is a comment board and I made a comment in response. You seem to be hypersensitive to opinions which differ from yours. Sorry if you nose is out of joint over my posts.
My nose isn’t out of joint at all.
I have serious question as to how you can know what Ordway thinks feels, and information as to how she responds to potential news stories.
You are either her (writing under a pen name) her husband, her secretary, OR you have no idea what you are writing about.
Come on tell the truth. do you have some special relationship with this columnist which allows you to speak for her? Or are you just guessing?
What are you going on about now????
You made a comment that she should “delve” into Bob Carlson life (assuming you mean prior to him making the big leap).
Why would she? He fooled a great many people. Politicians, community leaders, civic organization leaders, heads of corporations, common folk, etc… Carlson fooled them all and then some.
Your post made it sound like you had inside information of suspicion about Carlson’s phony life. So, I asked you and you said you didn’t fine.
I am not Ordway or related in anyway to her. I don’t work for her and I don’t work for the BDN.
I am just a common everyday person just like you Mark….with an opinion and a computer.
Oh, my opinions are my own and my opinion is…well you don’t want to know what my opinion is at the moment.
Actually I NEVER wanted your opinion. You expressed it anyway…As is your right.
Reporters (by definition) are supposed to stick their noses EVERYWHERE. Carlson was a public figure, and as such needed more scrutiny than the average citizen. Once upon a time reporters/journalists did the job of “vetting” public figures. That chore (like so many in current society) seems to be unassigned.
That’s why they call it a “Comment” board Mark….for people to make and respond to comments from other people.
Actually, if you read the “rules” for posting the BDN says that comments are to be about the story, not on other posts.
You’re forgiven, we all do it.
Mark I am not looking for or seeking forgiveness.
I completely agree with you. jd was duped and still sore about it. Hopefully, many at the BDN (and the City of Bangor) have learned a lesson from the Bob Carlson fiasco. He was a dishwasher when he came to town. I told many people, they chose to never question his credentials.
while it is a reporters job to delve, jd2008jd is right, one has to have a reason to delve, and no one was given any reason or inclination of a reason to delve. The ones who are now stating there was reason, also state that those reasons they kept to themselves. Those are those peoples errors. We, and reporters cannot just delve into EVERYONES historys. As someone, who, for a living does digging into history for credentialing, it is not easy, but I do it, and I find information, but every question I ask, every person I speak to, I have to of had a reason to do so. I can’t just call random places. I can’t just start trying to research random people. They are being researched for a reason and have signed paperwork that states we will be doing this. Many times information that is omitted can be found out through other places or gaps, but not always. While Rev. Carlson could have been researched for his jobs, maybe, because he is not a clinician he wasn’t, he probably did have background checks, and passed those because nothing was ever reported bad on those by the people who knew stuff that should have said something. You are pointing fingers at people where you shouldn’t be.
Quite frankly Renee, a woman simply cannot understand. But a quick read of the good book might just give you a clue. Weak men have gave God’s most precious gift to man, over to Satan.
Who is seeking the destruction of man.
And why wouldn’t a woman understand? More overly patricarchal preaching from a conservative Christian (presumed).
And another apologist for the pedos.The footage of people crying when Paterno was dumped was grotesque.
Paterno was not a child abuser. He simply did not do what people thought he should do. His behavior was not criminal as he (and his position) is not a mandated reporter in Pennsylvania.
People focused on Paterno because he was famous and well loved in the Penn State community.
What I find grotesque is that all the focus on Paterno (who did nothing) gave Sandusky a lighter viewing then he might have gotten if he was seen as a stand alone pedophile.
Perhaps his behavior was not criminal, but was it ethical.
Not my point, nor my place to judge. My point is that focusing on the better known Paterno relieves Sandusky of some of the heat. That is not productive.
We will never know how many people knew what was going on or when they knew it.The coverup continues.
if that was your child who was being molested, and you found out that paterno had known, and while he had made a report, but then had done nothing further, you might view this differently.
Behavior does not have to be criminal for it to be wrong. Nor does his position have to be one as a mandated reporter. Honestly, in heart, we are all mandated reporters, if we see something like that happening, or a child being merciless beat by their parent, it is our duty to report this to DHHS, to police, to whomever we must, and to make sure that something is done and that child is protected.
A childs protector is, and should be their parents, and when that protection breaks down because either their parent is the abuser, or because the child is being abused like in the case of penn state, the parent doesnt know but others do, then we need to make sure that the parent(s) can do what they must to protect that child, not let them come to harm. Children are not able to protect themselves and that is what parents and ideally adults are there for, and anyone who is a good moral ethical human being and adult who does not go the extra steps to make sure of that protection has not done the right thing, criminal or not.
Back to renee’s article. People can, and obviously will be duped by others. Carlson had many of us duped for a large amount of years. There were those who knew things about him (or so they said) that should have come to light years ago that would have painted a much different picture, but without this information given to us, there is absolutely no way to know. Nothing further about this case has been said, but if this child was abused many years ago (and don’t attack my if, I say if because there has been no confirmation from authorities and i don’t have an opinion one way or the other without facts) then ideally they would have come forward then, or someone else would have found out, seen something, heard something and said something. Unfortunately, we don’t live in a utopia, so without the other information from the individuals at the jail who said fishy stuff had happened, without suspicions that people are NOW saying they had about him having been said back then, there is nothing we could say or do, because we just honestly didn’t know. I will honestly say, I had no clue. I was fooled.
Under the law society may define what is “right and wrong” Outside the law each person must decide for themselves. You have no right to define the “duty’ of others. You may only decide what is your duty.
My point about Paterno is somewhat different, and may chance I am not literate enough to write so folks understand what I am saying.
Focusing on Paterno takes focus OFF Sandusky. Sandusky committed the acts. not Paterno.
Who you accusing of being an apoligist for pedophiles? I was criticizing hobo’s mysogenistic 1st sentence. You’re walking a fine line of the BDN removing your comment. Don’t blame me, I won’t flag it, but don’t be surprised if they do.
That was supposed to attach to hobo’s comment.I clicked on the wrong one.I am sorry.
Gopher40: Because all humans want what they do not have, and weak men have gave you the power. But you are right about the Christian. One day you might understand. —– Original Message —–
From: Disqus
To: hobo1a@myfairpoint.net
Sent: Friday, July 06, 2012 9:42 PM
Subject: [bdn] Re: Betrayals of trust abound in child sex abuse cases
Gopher40 wrote, in response to hobo1a:
And why wouldn’t a woman understand? More overly patricarchal preaching from a conservative Christian (presumed).
Link to comment
The male Catholic hierarchy needs to be jailed across the board for running a CCE .From Penn State to Rome with stops at every country in between.
Why this unhelpful, self-righteous comment? Another opportunity to take a stab at the Church, I surmise. “Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness”.
The focus on the abuse is lighting the candle despite the Church’s efforts to extinguish it.Let me ask you this.Two men both go to court for the same crime of abuse-one a homeless man and the other a priest.Are you seriously going to tell me the writeup and public perception will be the same?WRONG!
The Church scandal goes back mainly to events of the past from about 1960 to the mid eighties. The sex abuse going on today is by and large outside the the Church. The Church has taken very strong measures to ameliorate the abuse unlike other institutions in America. Your harping against the Church is stale news that appears to be aimed at discrediting the Church that considers homosexuality, abortion, and euthanasia sinful. That is the reason for the constant attack on it. It’s the liberal left’s way of avoiding real debate by killing the messenger of any message they dislike. They do the same thing to me in this BDN venue when I argue against the proposal to grant gay couples marriage licenses. They say all sorts of bad things about me and deliberately misstate my positions constantly in order to muddy up the discourse.
I will ask my question again since that wasn’t answered.The Church has done some window dressing and paid out some $$,not unlike the tobacco companies.And as far as attacks,the Church has a long and sordid history of murder,destroying dissent,economic injustice and countless other misdeeds.Nothing that has been done against them(which is very little) even compares.
Please tell me what other institutions have not addressed abuse?
I don’t believe I have ever said anything negative about you.I rarely agree with you,but I find your posts well reasoned and carefully thought out.As a former member of a debating team,I love a good debate.
I had hoped that Renee would be calling for the public to be told more about the Bob Carlson “seems to be buried” case that we were assured would be forthcoming with more information. Perhaps it involves too many other prominent people? Any amount of guessing can take place, since the promised info is still being held back.
The 1990 case is one where the trooper had only 24 days in pleasant incarceration because of “good behavior,” I believe; but, did the law remember that his “good behavior” was absent when it came to his violation of children?
Last I knew the investigation was still active and ongoing. But it is not high on the priority list given the case load the MSP has and active cases with alleged criminals still being sought.
I doubt that any incarceration would be considered “pleasant”.I know of someone who worked in a medium security facility.She said that a well publicized abuser came in and on his FIRST night there he “slipped in the shower”. No permanent injuries but message received I’m sure.No tears here.
For some reason you left out the biggest group of child abusers….It’s not the teachers, coaches, clergy, etc……It’s the child’s family members…uncles, aunts, next door neighbors…..After Anguish King got the fingerprinting of teachers bill passed….I was quoted in a book..The Prints of Darkness…”Now that we’ve got the teachers fingerprinted, maybe we should dust the kids for prints every day when they come to school.”
I may not have understood your feelings about Bob Carlson. Are you still in awe of him and the accolades he received?
As before, reread. The answeris there.
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What is the point of this article?There’s nothing new in the case.