Evan Haskell finally made some time to meet his number one fan.
Calls and promises had been made, but Evan Haskell was really busy doing the kinds of things that people named Evan typically are doing. It’s not that he refused to meet, he just didn’t make it his number one priority.
One thing we can’t stand is when someone is whining and crying to get their way. We would have never promised that he could meet Evan Haskell if we had known he was not going to be a big boy about it.
Well, last week, Evan Haskell finally agreed to meet. He was busy, but his dad agreed to bring him by the station. Evan had far better things to do and we appreciate him making the time to meet our Evan Haskell.
Our Officer Evan Haskell (on right) has stopped whining and crying and seems to be in better spirits. If you look really close you can see the tracks of his tears.
The more important Evan Haskell (on the left) promised, at some point, to take our Evan Haskell (on the right) out for an ice cream. This promise seemed to console him.
In the meantime, Evan Haskell (on the left) agreed to allow our Evan Haskell (on the right) to give him a tour of the station, check out the cruisers, and we are pretty sure that Haskell (on the left) used his typical methods to lock in an exact date for that ice cream.
Thank you, Evan Haskell (on the left), for stopping by and making our Evan Haskell’s (on the right) dreams come true.
Keep your hands to yourself, leave other people’s things alone, and be kind to one another.
We will be here, making Evan’s dreams come true (he’s on the right).
How to protect yourself from a scam-
TC’s Maxim #288892- “You won’t be scammed by phone if you never answer the phone, this I am sure of”
Don’t answer unknown numbers- if you have friends who block their numbers, ask them to unblock the number before calling you or advise them you will not be answering. They can leave a message.
If you have never been charged with a crime, it is almost impossible that you will ever have an arrest warrant issued in your name. The cool thing is that you can ignore TC’s Maxim #288892 the first time, hang up when it gets weird, and begin to live by that Maxim immediately thereafter. It’s a Maxim which comes with a second chance. Very few Maxims come with a second chance. There is no charge for this. Not even gift cards.
NO ONE WANTS GIFT CARDS FOR PAYMENT EXCEPT MISCREANTS WHO ARE SCAMMING YOU. Gift cards are for gifting. Gift cards are NOT for paying: imaginary fines, back-taxes, police officers, Kidnappers, bail bondsmen, door-to-door salesmen, pavers, roofers, milk-men, or exotic dancers (actually they might take a gift card, check with their union).
If your grandchild, child, nephews, nieces, or any blood-relative calls you to tell you they are in a Mexican prison, you need to first think about the chances that any one of those individuals is spending any time in Mexico.
If your grandson is in high school in Grosse Point, Michigan and a person (who sounds like Brian Johnson from AC-DC) calls you grammy or gramps- DO NOT VOCALIZE THE NAME OF YOUR GRANDSON TO THEM. This is how they collect the name of your actual grandson in the first place.
Example: SCAMMER- “Grammy, I love you and I am in a Mexico City prison for flying baby chickens into the city via an antiquated DC-3, because I got my pilot’s license last year and have now been arrested for trying to scam the chicken wing factory by bringing them a higher percentage of roosters than originally asked for. I need $6000.00 in iTunes gift cards to get back so I can visit you at Christmas in 2019!”
YOU- “ Blake, is that you? I thought your were a freshman in Grosse Point, Michigan where you are on the lacrosse team and participate in band, theater, and JV Football!”
Scammer-“ Yes, Grammy you are correct. This is Blake, I lied about the baby chickens and my pilots license because I knew you would know it was code for the fact that I am in trouble. I am only in Mexico City because I was honored to be selected to tour with the stage band while participating in a international lacrosse tournament and football exposition. I was caught deflating the ball to give our team a fighting chance and I was arrested. I don’t dare to tell mom or dad. I am scared, send me iTunes gift cards, Green Dot cards, and wire me a little extra through Western Union so I can help my other bandmates get out of prison as well. Help me Grammy!”
YOU- “Oh, Blake, it is you! I am heading to a large department store right now, right after I clean out my savings account to spring you and your high school friends from prison!”
You see how this happens?
Now for the zinger- smart people fall for this every single day. Do not underestimate the power of a blood relative being held against their will in a Mexico City prison cell. Scammers use similar tales to prey on your feelings and suddenly people are forgetting about common sense.
Discuss this scenario or another (where you change the name of the grandchild to Courtney) with anyone who might be vulnerable to being too kind, too loving, or too easily manipulated.
Put a note by their phone to call you to double check with you whenever they believe they need to send money. Most importantly- NEVER send payment to anyone who calls and accepts gift cards for money owed.
In the end, refer to Maxim #288892 if you can’t remember anything else. It will protect you.
We will be here.
BPD Duck of Justice is published in BDN Maine Weekly on Thursdays. This installment is for June 7.