May 20, 2019
Community News Latest News | Fiberight | Bangor Metro | Educators Retire | Today's Paper

No ducks, more dogs in this week’s column

Community Author: Bangor Police Department
Post Date:
Bangor Police Department | Contributed
Bangor Police Department | Contributed

K9 Lex has received approval on his pension paperwork.

Nothing but naps, walks, trips to the forest, and probably some social situations with other single, retired dogs who also like it at The Villages.

His application for The Villages was actually rejected as he had a difficult time holding a Yeti tumbler AND driving a golf cart.

He can tend bar at the Singles Cabana but everyone complains when they get a hair in their gin and tonic; he also has difficulty squeezing a lime without using his teeth.

Lex will be spending his retirement with his partner, Officer Jason Linkletter, right here in Penobscot County.

Lex has been a working man for over 10 years- that’s 70 for you and me- he deserves a little break, maybe a biscuit and a bowl of water decorated with a cherry and a colorful paper umbrella.

We had the IT Department install some software in Lex’s personal PC so he did not have to be inundated with offers for testosterone replacement, and the standard inquiries on whether or not he would like to try tiny blue pills prescribed by a physician’s assistant’s assistant from Sri Lanka.

Lex doesn’t need that negativity in his life.

We want to thank Jason Linkletter for his hard work in training and making Lex’s life an enjoyable time while finding dope, chasing perps, and whizzing on all the shrubbery at 240 Main Street.

Lex has done some good work too.

Lex will be missed but we know he will enjoy his retirement years. Down deep, we are all very, very jealous of his next steps.

Keep your hands to yourself, leave other people’s things alone, and be kind to one another.

We will be here.

Be well, Lex, be well.

Who’s a gooood boy?

TC

BPD Duck of Justice is occasionally published in BDN Maine Weekly on Thursdays. This installment is for Jan. 24.