Comments for: SAD 22 board member jailed after allegedly stalking female employee of district

Posted Nov. 30, 2012, at 8:11 p.m.

WINTERPORT | A two-term member of the SAD 22 school board has spent the last month in jail for violating a protection from abuse order and stalking a school district employee, according to Waldo County authorities and court documents. Lance M. El-Hajj, 48, of Winterport is awaiting a Dec. …

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  • Captain Kangaroo

    Deport him.

    • Anonymous

      Sonny, I knew Captain Kangaroo, and you’re no Captain Kangaroo. Captain Kangaroo would give this guy to Bunny Rabbit. Game over. lol!

    • Anonymous

      In case you haven’t read the paper in the last few days, the people of Maine are currently working to disassociate themselves with the Charlie Webster mentality. From where I sit, it looks like you see an unusual name and you revert to some sort of 1950’s mentality. I thought that we had evolved past that sort of thing. Guess not. Hopefully we’ll invent the wheel soon……

      • Captain Kangaroo

        You guessed right Mr Green Jeans!

        • Anonymous

          Stop already…Mr Greenjeans was a family friend…and neighbor.

    • Anonymous

      To where? The United States?

      • The Great White Hope

        El-Hajj?

  • Anonymous

    Another “USELESS” protection order!

    • Guest

      If the protection order was so “useless” then why did he continue to send emails and ask about her current relationship status? There’s a fine line between what’s perceived as a “useless” protection order and what happened to Amy, Monica, and Coty Lake in Dexter.

      • Anonymous

        exactly and any MAN who calls protection order “useless” is clearly a BIG part of the problem —in violence against women..In this case, clearly so is the DA and police department.!! I seriously can’t believe EITHER said these quotes OUT loud It . IT makes it clear there STILL IS BOYS club .and protecting women isn”t part of the clubs goal even IF you are getting paid to do so.!!!! …Yup “he was such a nice guy”

        • Anonymous

          That’s EXACTLY my point. A protection order DOES NOT keep people away from each other!

  • Anonymous

    He’s a creep

  • 1happyguy2

    Some guys just don’t seem to like rejection. It’s not the end of life, but could be the beginning of a long period of something close to it.

    • Anonymous

      I know women always handle rejection with such grace and dignity.

  • Anonymous

    He and his family are good people. Been around winterport longer than most of us have been alive. He has made a mistake and will now pay for that mistake. I would say this so called useless protection order did exactly as it was suppose to do if he broke it. He’s being held without bail. And this woman was not physically harmed. Protection orders alot of times are given for no reason and taken advantage of by both men and woman ( not saying this to be the case here appears it was not) but if a judge threw everyone who had a protection order put on them right or wrong the jails would need to be 10 x the size they are now. Lets all be thankful it did its job here and everyone can eventually move on in this case.

    • Anonymous

      WOW , YOU Guys really just don’t GET it do you?? No means NO!!!The woman REALLY doesn’t want you IN their lives. STAY AWAY!! When a woman HAS to go to court , it is clear the man hasn’t taken her own “NO” seriously.

      • Anonymous

        Yes because people don’t ever take people to court needlessly or file frivolous lawsuits.

      • Anonymous

        What don’t I get? I think I said he made a mistake and broke the order?

    • Anonymous

      I knew him at MBNA (Phil too). Hardworking decent family, He went through he__ when his wife died. Last I knew things were fine, sorry to see it come to this. He should have stayed away though……I was luckier: my ex stayed on the other side of the USA (thank god for Maine and the fact I am a Maineiac)

    • Anonymous

      Physical harm has nothing to do with it. I’m sure she made it clear she was not interested in renewing the relationship with him, and he apparently didn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. I have never been stalked, but I have had someone repeatedly pursue an interest in me and it is extremely uncomfortable. You dread seeing them come into a room, they invade your personal space, and it’s just plain creepy. He may be a very nice man, but he crossed the line when he sought out her kids to ask personal questions and drove by her house over and over. And your calling protection of abuse orders useless are only useless in the way of that they don’t physically prevent the accused of contacting the person who filed it. They do deter the majority of ‘abusers’, but yes, the truly psychotic will not think twice to violate them. The day that a person files one and it’s denied and that person is later found dead, all hell would break loose because people would be wondering why the police never ‘did anything’ even after the warning signs were there. They set a presidence.

    • Anonymous

      They should raise his taxes.

    • Anonymous

      growing up in “the Port” i remember the good ol days of El-Hajj market, lance worked there for his dad. what a great store! Moxie in a can ice cold, the best italian sandwich which has never been matched, at Christmas time they played Christmas music on outdoor speakers, the redsox vs. yankees museum of sorts. i wish my kids could grow up in that type of atmosphere of Winterport in the 80s. Sonny always gave out a free soda to the Little League team after a victory. Which thanks to Mr. Butch Basso And Mr. Mike Trask was quite a winning team

      • Anonymous

        Yes those Italians! And free sodas after a little league win ( which I was involved with) sonny and his Yankees. Mr basso and Mr trask two men who helped make lasting childhood memories. I just hope my kids coaches will be 1/2 the coaches and friends those two men were to me

  • Anonymous

    ““As far as things go, this was relatively minor in terms of him coming
    by the house, coming inside, and sending e-mails. He was trying to
    repair a relationship that had gone south, basically,” Waldo County
    Deputy District Attorney Eric Walker said of the initial complaint in
    May.. BUT ERIC, SHE DIDN”T WANT THE RELATIONSHIP “REPAIRED” . SHE WANTED HIM TO stay away from her !!! I don’t care what HE wanted!!!

    I’ve got to tell you IF THESE things are considered “minor” by the DA office and the deputy ( see other similar “quotes) … that explains why so many women are ending up dead!!!

    I DO NOT consider entering a home “in violation of an order” to be a MINOR infraction !!!! What is wrong with these men who are charged with enforcing protection orders and PROTECTING women!!!THEY clearly are part of the “problem” !!

  • Jollyroger

    Lance is a deccent, good man. If you don’t know him, just shut up.

    • ballfan44

      Agreed! and a great father!

      • Anonymous

        Amazing father!!

    • Anonymous

      No one’s disputing the fact he’s probably a good person. But he crossed the line, made someone uncomfortable, and obviously should have stopped when the women said “I’m not interested”. Some people won’t take no for an answer or think if they keep trying they’ll get what they’re after, but if the signs say stop or slow down, well…..read the signals before it gets weird.

      • ballfan44

        She to broke order by contacting him….oh thats right article doesn’t mention that. In this case should she to also be in jail? She was the one who filed complaint and broke order herself..

        • Anonymous

          If that is indeed the case, then yes, she should be. Protection orders shouldn’t be filed for the hell of it, and then when someone changes their mind the rules are disregarded. It takes away the seriousness and this is precicely why orders aren’t respected.

          • Anonymous

            The difficulty is for a court who granted the order, or another court to hear a complaint that the party protected by said order unlawfully was granted by a court, or in fact sought the order that was granted by ways of ill means (lies and deceit), or obtained an order that was then manipulated in its purposes in order to entrap and damage the other party against whom the order was issued. Every one of these circumstances opens a can of nastiness that the courts try to avoid…because sadly in majority we all know why these orders exist and what they were intended to stop. Still there is much abuse of this process, but who wants to be the one that judges against granting and then finds out the truth the hard way? The people who violate the purpose of these orders being granted undermine and complicate matters for those who truly are in need of protection from abuse, and should if found out be held accountable.

        • jerrymyx

          only way that would happen is, if there was a protection order out on her! ultimately HE is responsible for choosing to be, as you say, lured in by her, he is a big boy, he could have said NO way baby!! he was the one who should have been more responsible in his own decision making!!! go to court and have the judge rescind the PO…..Heartbreaking for his family indeed, but it will teach you all a good lesson of responsible actions..I pray…

    • Anonymous

      You don’t have to know him or think he’s a bad guy to see that he really needs to get over this woman and leave her alone, for the sake of his own preservation, regardless of whether she signals wanting to rekindle the relationship. I’m sure there is more to this than what the BDN has covered, but that’s not going to help him or his kids if he ends up in jail. There ain’t a woman on the planet who’s worth jeopardizing your relationship with your kids, especially when they’ve been through enough trauma.

  • Conley Raye

    Oh boy, Newburgh’s antic’s hitting their next door neighbors.

  • ballfan44

    Once again BDN reporting one side if the story. You people should know this by now. most stories the news reports are
    one sided. The problem with restraining orders is they only “protect”
    one person. restaining orders should be put on both people when they are given
    out like candy on halloween. It doesn’t protect the person whom is being
    “accused”. sounds funny I know, but how many times do people get back
    together even when there is a restaining order and then they fight and the
    accused is in jail. Alot of men and women agree to these orders just to end
    being in court. which gives the person who has the order free to do as she/he
    choices like send emails, have contact, drive by his house, sit outside his
    house, ask his children questions. basically bait the other person. (the
    reality is that happens ) He stands a little to close to her at a event where
    there were about 200 people present and she feels (who is a black belt) in
    danger. I am not saying he probably wasn’t trying to salvage the relationship,
    but with this on and off relationship that was “normal”. I live in
    this community and have seen this realtionship unfold. There is sooo much more
    to his side of things. Lets all remember there are 4 kids involved. I hope
    everyone takes that into account when making comments. Be nice with your
    comments these kids know how to read and are going through enough. Lance is good man and a great single father. His family are outstanding members of this town I have great memories of the family store while i was growing up. Be nice unless you know the whole story.

    • Anonymous

      You said it perfectly!

  • Anonymous

    When will law enforcement stop blaming the victim instead of protecting her?

    • ballfan44

      When women stop breaking their own resraining orders. You can’t have it both ways! There are time yes the victim is in danger BUT also there are more times when it’s used in a wrong. There should be punishment for the victims if they break an order.

  • Anonymous

    I don’t know the man so I won’t comment on him personally or pass judgement on his ability to parent his children or any other aspect of his life or personality. It does not sound like this man has a history of wrong-doings so I’m thinking he let his emotions get the best of him. Emotions have a funny way of making people do things they wouldn’t normally do. He did wrong, he knows it and he will be punished accordingly.

    That said, there are women who stalk men too in exactly this manner. Men rarely report it, however, I would encourage them to do so. It is against the law no matter who does it.

    It is important to keep in mind that one size does not fit all when it comes to crime and punishment so let’s keep this in perspective and not assume he was going to do physical harm to anyone and let’s also not assume that what he did is okay either. Stalking is stalking and it’s against the law. That protection order IS intended to keep each partner safe from the other by separating them for a period of time. Anyone who is issued any kind of court order needs to abide by it… PERIOD. If they can do that they too will be protected.

    • Anonymous

      “That said, there are women who stalk men too in exactly this manner.”

      I had one woman years ago, after I moved on, she would call my Mom all the time checking up on me, try to stay connected, and drive up to the house at odd times. My Mom asked: “Haven’t you told her your not interested, I said; Yes, but I thought you enjoyed the hours of conversations about me.” Funny thing is she was a teacher…

      • Anonymous

        Oh wow… a teacher! Well, we all know that happens too as is evidenced by Debra LeFave and Mary Kay Letourneau. I can’t imagine what your mother must have thought once she realized why this teacher was REALLY visiting!

  • Anonymous

    I can’t believe a state that is at times as backward as Maine is would elect someone with the name El-Hajj. That is heartening.

    • ballfan44

      And what is wrong with that name? R u a raciest?

      • Anonymous

        If you re read the statement at the end it says that it is heartening…maybe that was added after your comment?

  • Anonymous

    Lance is a great man and member of the community. There certainly is another side to this which I find amusing that it was left out of the article. This “victim” is manuplative and using the system because she knows how to. I will stand behind Lance when he gets out as well as many other people. For those of us who know the other side…. It isn’t Lance we want out of the community and deported, it is the teacher that has no morals and doesn’t belong in a teaching position. I certainly don’t want her teaching my children. For the record, if I didn’t know the situation I would probably judge too…

    • Anonymous

      You are so right. It is also being left out that it was his girlfriend of like 5+ years

      • pbmann

        The length of the relationship is irrelevent. if she wanted it over, he has no say in whether the relationship continues.

        • Anonymous

          100% correct.

  • Overdrive212@gmail.com

    I have heard through the small town network that she would approach him at the store and post office, ask him a question, and threaten to call the cops if he answered it. doesn’t sound fair to me.

    • Anonymous

      Agreed!

    • pbmann

      Unless you have seen it yourself you should not spread gossip. You look foolish.

    • Anonymous

      Unfortunately, he’s going to have to be very disciplined and just walk away, without saying a word to her. He could also be proactive and file his own order to keep her the h**l away from him, then call the police if she gets within 50 feet. She won’t quit unless and until he gives her a dose of her own medicine. Let HER spend some time in jail. I hate women who play these kinds of games with men (and I am a woman). I don’t know Mr. El-Hajj but he does sound like a decent guy- he and his kids don’t need this crap in their lives.

  • Anonymous

    I love this “no fair she broke the rules first” !!!sounds like a bunch if children who think that because someone did something they do not like they can retaliate. The fact of the matter is. This man, right or wrong, had a legal judgment against HIM. no matter what SHE did, HE was bound by this judgement. if SHE was bothering him then HE could have gone to court too. HE had the judgement, HE has to pay for breaking it. it really is that “simple” ………Oh, and by the way. getting a protection order is not as simple as some of you might think. there has to be evidence that convinces a judge that there actually is a threat, or danger. There is a court hearing for these things…. no everyone who files for one gets them…. .. Just saying…

    • Anonymous

      You make valid points. If these rumors are true, of her speaking to him and then threatening to call the police if he answered, then he should have reported her and required these witnesses to testify on his behalf. Either way, like you said, the protection order was out on HIM. Even though it’s a two-way street, you’d think he’d have to have known it was risky to have any contact with her.

    • ballfan44

      Actually I have seen it done, not to hard at all. And yes it does matter if she broke it. If there is proof she broke the order then she she be held responsible for that action. Its used way to often as a tool for anger. If u get a order u should be under the same rules as the person u are filing against. If i was scared enough of someone to file a protection order I wouldnt be contacting them for any reason. One would think if I am
      , I dont feel as my life is in Danger

      • jerrymyx

        if he has text messages or phone calls from her , get them from his service (provider), maybe this could go a long way in his trial…… and maybe before the trial ever begins!!! REPORT this !

  • celhajj

    I am the oldest daughter of Lance, this story is completely private, and the article is completely one-sided. I have been through this whole entire relationship and know everything that is going on. Those of you who do not know my father should not judge him by this article or assume things that have happened. None of this is true. Please keep your negative comments to your self. He has done an absolutely amazing job raising four girls on his own since 2001 when my mother passed away. He is the sweetest most caring person, and I love him with all my heart. Please take our privacy into consideration, and if you don’t know the whole story there is no need for you to say anything.

    • ballfan44

      Well said! What these people who don’t know your father are saying really doesn’t matter! U know him and the community knows the truth. Everyone I know is standing behind your family. Keep your head high.

    • Anonymous

      Sweetie I am so sorry! I know your Dad and knew your mom from MBNA. Stay strong, do not let these comments get to you because your Dad is an amazing person. This women used your Dad and is now using the system to ruin him. Can’t be done, he is just too sweet. Hug your Dad and love your sisters.

    • Anonymous

      Stay strong celhajj! And stop reading these posts… People are very judgemental! The people that matter know the truth and support your dad. I hope he’ll be home to you soon.

    • Anonymous

      I’ve lived for about as long as your Dad, and there’s not much we can’t see straight through at our age. Keep your family close they will always be there for you, and keep faith. There are good people out here.

    • szyq43

      I don’t know anyone involved in this story but good to see that people immediately pointed out the fact that there are always 2 sides to EVERY story. So sorry hon that this is happening but hopefully things will work out and you and your family will be stronger and closer because of it. You are all in my prayers.

    • Anonymous

      People can be so cruel and unfortunately the meanest ones are the loudest with the most to say even when they don’t know what they’re talking about. I don’t know you, your sisters or your dad but I 100% believe you that there are two sides to this story and that he should not be judged by readers of the BDN. Please know that there are many people out here who feel your pain. Stay strong and try not to let cruel people bring you down. Hugs to you!

  • Anonymous

    the guy is a stalker and a violator of the law.lock him up before this turns into something much more worst

  • Anonymous

    i’ve known this family my whole life and i dont put anything past anyone and neither should anybody else,and he is a far cry from his dad sonny who would never do anything like this

  • Anonymous

    the guy is a stalker and a violator of the law.lock him up before this turns into something much more worst

  • Anonymous

    i’ve known this family my whole life and i dont put anything past anyone and neither should anybody else,and he is a far cry from his dad sonny who would never do anything like this

  • amainer

    i’ve known this family my whole life and i dont put anything past anyone and neither should anybody else,and he is a far cry from his dad sonny who would never do anything like this

  • amainer

    the guy is a stalker and a violator of the law.lock him up before this turns into something much more worst

  • Bill Cat

    Always have to leave room for both sides in domestic matters — there’s his story, her story and somewhere in between there’s reality. The comments here lean toward him being a good father and a decent guy in general — and not a word about the ‘ex’ — so there’s no other side to read about.

    The phrases ‘protective order’ and ‘restraining order’ both seem conjure up imagines of some cruel drunken slob whopped the daylights out of a skinny gal and maybe her kids, too. But we all know that ain’t always the case at all. What’s the old saying… Oh yeah: “A mind is like a parachute — it only functions when open.”

  • Anonymous

    After reading this article I have the feeling this fellow is being framed, and this lady has a bit of infatuation. He’s got four daughters, and certainly is not going to partake of chasing her if she say’s no. He would not accept the accused behavior by boys interested in his daughters, therefore, I highly doubt he would of himself.

    Let’s say he agreed and accepted her ending the relationship, and obeyed the order, and then she showed interest in one way or another indicating her position on the relationship had changed to them possibly getting back together. It is not uncommon with romance in movement that the order is forgotten about until an officer notices the two together. There are two ways I have seen this occur in reconciliations while an order is still in effect;

    1) honestly where the parties work it out and the relationship is back on,

    and

    2) dishonestly where one party (usually the one with the order) wants
    to really hurt the other party bad.

    This last could be based in jealousy, hate, or revenge. The enticement by those who have the order to lure in those they have the order against is seldom looked at by officers or courts. In many ways those looking to even a score (what they consider unfairness, new companion, etc.) find it with a protection order. The trouble for the law here is in the dangers of those parties, one, or both, which are harmful or in harms way when together. This is why law enforcement when a protection order is violated is going to take somebody to jail.

    I have not even touched upon these orders being used as a tool by those seeking to separate or divorce. Put in place by some to gain an upper hand in a custody battle if children are involved, or to distance themselves from a present companion, because they cheated with a new lover while with the other and they don’t have the guts to face them except as an adversary while they themselves are protected by the law and court.

    • Anonymous

      Not quite sure how you feel qualified to judge what this man’s intentions were strictly from reading a news article, but you are certainly way off base. Regardless of whether or not she contacted him, if he was smart he would have made sure the protection order was dropped before having any further contact with her. It’s still his own mistake.

  • Anonymous

    so sad this father and his children have to go thru this because a woman wants to let the courts and pd fight her battles and play the games. I am a woman and have seen this to many times when woman use the system to play games with others lives. To his children so sorry you r going thru all of this not all women are like this. I am sure your dad loved her but she did not love him and just played the game. I can sympathize with your dad cause losing a spouse and being thrown into the world of dating is just a horrible situation for this world is so full of non traditional fakes. I am a widow and have seen all of this first hand. I guess i should say its a hard lesson to learn for your dad and he must be so hurt but he will heal and be stronger for it. Wanting to share your life and your love with someone is not a bad thing but now adays you need to be cautious. Stay strong girls and all will be ok. prayers and hugs sent your way and to all the negative people whom think it is ok to bash this man shame on you you have not walked in his shoes and i am pretty sure you have skeletons in your own closets so do not throw stones. Compassion is needed here. I do not know this man nor his family so thats not why i commented they way I did I commented the way I did cause I have seen these kind of games that people play with others just sad.

  • Anonymous

    They didn’t arrest him because it was only “one sided” ? If we learned anything from past domestic altercations that resulted in death of the victims; no one saw it coming?

    Myths:

    Stalking: Myths vs. Facts

    Myth #1: Only complete strangers become stalkers.

    FACT: Most individuals being stalked are stalked by people that they know – 77% of female and 64% of male victims know their stalker. Each year, more than half a million women are actively stalked by their intimate partner.

    Myth #2: Stalking is not a problem on college campuses.

    FACT: Research indicates that between 1/4 and 1/3 of college students have been stalked.

    Myth #3: Stalkers are mostly harmless.

    FACT: There are cases of stakling that last for years and never turn violent, and others that turn deadly quickly. The cases that seem harmless may be the most deadly.

    Myth #4: Stalking is no big deal and doesn’t significantly impact the life of a stalking victim.

    FACT: 30% of stalking victims seek psychological counseling as a result of their victimization. Recent estimates indicate that over 1.4 million Americans are stalked each year, and that 1 in 20 women will become targets of stalking behavior at least once during their lifetimes. Most victims are stalked for an average of 1.8 years, and 1/5 of the victims are so fearful that they move locations in an attempt to escape their stalker.

    Myth #5: Just ignore stalking, it will eventually go away. If you stop responding to your stalker, he/she will get bored of it.

    FACT: This is not necessarily the case, and early action is important. The sooner action is taken to stop the stalking, whether it is a police warning, solicitor’s letter, arrest, etc., the higher the chance it has of stopping. Legislation exists for this reason. Research has shown that the longer stalkers are allowed to carry on, the less likely they are to stop.

    Myth #6: If you meet your stalker “just once” or decide to talk to them “this one time,” then the stalker will stop what he/she is doing.

    FACT: If possible, you should never agree to meet with your stalker or communicate with him/her in any way. Any attention from you, good or bad, will feed their obsession and may give you false hope that they will stop. It might also put you in a dangerous situation. Do not be manipulated by a stalker’s attempts to control you with false promises such as “I’ll stop if you just hear me out this one time,” or “I’ll leave you alone if you meet with me one last time.” Report incidents to the police and save any evidence such as voicemail messages, e-mails, or unwanted gifts. If you have already involved the police, it may weaken a prosecution case against your stalker because you will be viewed as having cooperated with the stalker should you decide to meet with/talk to him/her.

    Myth #7: A stalker should be “let down easy.”

    FACT: This is one of the worst things you could do. Don’t try to sugar-coat your “No.” Don’t agree to see your stalker “as a friend”. You cannot reason with a stalker. Any way you try to be kind and soften the impact of what you are saying just encourages the stalker and invites the stalker to continue. If you say, “I don’t want a relationship right now,” the stalker may think that he/she just needs to wait until you change your mind. If you say, “I’m in a relationship right now,” the stalker may think that he/she just has to win you over, or perhaps that he/she has someone to get someone out of the way. It is important to must make a simple, blunt statement with no explanations, time limits, or loopholes. Then, sever contact – completely.

    Myth #8: A restraining order will stop or deter a stalker.

    FACT: Stalking victims are usually told to get a restraining order. These are only of limited usefulness. It can stop a “mild” stalker, or someone who is still fairly rational and who cares about social or legal repercussions. However, about 2/3 of restraining orders are violated by stalkers. Do not make the mistake of thinking the predator will respond to a restraining order the way you would. This legal enforcement will do nothing to stop a stalker with a high degree of investment in the situation. This type can include former intimate partners, a more delusional stalker, or one motivated by revenge. In some cases, the situation can even be worsened by this legal tactic. It’s may be perceived as an insult, and can precipitate a violent situation.

    If you are considering asking for a restraining order, find out how they are enforced in your area. Is breaking the order a misdemeanor (i.e. equivalent to littering or jaywalking), or is it a felony (a serious criminal conviction)? What will police do if the order is violated? If the stalker just gets a warning or a “slap on the wrist,” things have just become worse. The stalker will now feel that he/she is invulnerable, and that he/she can do whatever he likes with no consequences. Talk to local domestic violence organizations and stalking victim support groups. Find out from them also how orders are enforced in practice. Put this information together with an estimate of the level of investment of the stalker and an estimate of the level of danger involved. Make an informed decision about the best way to go in your situation. In any case, far more powerful than a restraining order is making sure a stalker cannot get to you, and making sure you can defend yourself or have a safety plan if he/she does.

    Myth #9: The stalker has not directly threatened you, then you are not in any danger.

    FACT: The fact there has been no danger up until now does not mean it won’t come. It is true that some stalkers may warn their targets with obviously threatening statements such as, “We have to be together – forever,” or “If I can’t have you, nobody can.” However, even if the stalker has not made such an overtly dangerous statement, any words or behaviors that indicate an unwillingness to let go of his/her obsession is a red flag. Changing circumstances in the target’s life or in the life of the predator could precipitate violent behavior. One example would be if the target becomes engaged. This could trigger deadly violence in the deluded stalker who sees this as a betrayal of his/her imagined relationship with the target.

    Also, just because a stalker doesn’t have a criminal record does not mean he/she is not dangerous. Many infamous stalkers/killers did not commit any act of criminal violence before the murders they are known for. A past history of violence does indicate a higher possibility of future violence. The absence of a violent history, on the other hand, does not mean that the stalker is not capable of being violent. Every violent offender has a first time. Being stalked is itself a warning. Any stalking situation should be regarded as dangerous.

  • winterportmom

    I agree there are two sides to every story and I don’t know much about this woman, but I do know Lance…good person and victim??????guess I’ve seen the other side

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