April 04, 2020
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Comments for: Coping with domestic violence presents an ongoing challenge in Washington County

  • Anonymous

    Domestic violence is one of the most despicable and cowardly crimes that can be done to women. It is something that so many women live with, and are afraid to report it because of worse repercussions after ward. Protective orders so often do nothing but traumatize the woman further, with the man stalking and terrorizing her and maybe worse. How these men find the secret locations of the safe houses I don’t know, but it does happen frequently and the terror starts all over again. What is the answer to curbing the violence, I wish I knew. I guess a good start would be in raising boys and young men to respect women.

    • Anonymous

      What a big man one has to be to beat and terrorize a woman…especially in front of children.

    • Anonymous

       Another men hate group with police as their lap dogs.  Any seasoned cop
      will privately tell you what these DV nuts are all about.  They have their
      own agenda,  and they coach women how to lie in
      court.  Domestic Violence and the multi-billion dollar industry is a FRAUD and
      an open assault on the free republic.
      http://youtu.be/gzfEzXY-Erg

      • Anonymous

        I think your attack on a group that helps people deal with domestic abuse is uncalled for. They are NOT a mens hate group. I’ve gone to a couple of different shelters before and not one person at either place tried to convince me to hate men! And no one tried to get me to lie in court. And where do you get the “multi-billion dollar industry” from? Shelters are run off of grants and private donations! Where is the “open assault on the free public”? Domestic violence is a real problem, sometimes ending in death. The “agenda” as you put it, is to help people and their families get out of an abusive relationship and lead happy and productive lives…….like me!

        • I think a group constantly attacking one gender or one group of people would come across as a hate group.  I’m not saying that’s the case in this situation.  What I am saying, though, is that it’s high time we realize that abusers are not just limited to one gender.  The same is true of victims of domestic violence.

          • Anonymous

             In the same sense that men don’t want to press charges against THEIR abuser. They are afraid of being labeled by the same society that sees people who work at shelters as men bashers. The male victim doesn’t want to be labeled as a sissy, woose or any other names people can come up with!

    • Anonymous

      I can’t stand that all these women who can’t get out of the relationship ..there just as nuts as the guy …verbal abuse is just as bad if not worse then physical ..and we the people should worry about our own life’s ?..so many people have been screwed over from domestic assault ..there is no difference in the crime of domestic assault weather you punch some in the face or just lay a finger …there needs to be levels of abuse …for example…..1 fight with your gf where she is being a drunk nut case wanting to drive her car and not listening so you try to take the keys away she gets assaultive and your just trying to get a drunk person you care about away from the car ,!! But wait a nosey person in Bangor sees this happening calls the cop to report a man forcing a women out of a car , then police come and arrest the man “so un fair “

      • Anonymous

        Power and control wheel go round and round round and round …and in the end you women in those groups have the power and are just as bad ….boooo

        • Anonymous

          Yet another assumption that this “group” is comprised of all women.  Guess what?  You are wrong…boooo.

    • Anonymous

      What if the one doing the terrorizing to the other filed for the protection order? Like you said, the one traumatized is afraid to or as the article states, needs help formulating an order.

  • Anonymous

    Not surprised at all about the amount of domestic violence in Washington County. Plenty of Alcoholics and Junkies live there.

    • It is easy to make generalizations of a people or place as this gives a person a simplified way of dismissing his/her responsibility to help relieve the situation. At times, there may be alcohol or drugs involved, but to say that there are “Plenty of Alcoholics and Junkies live there” is about as sensible as saying all people in Southern Maine are rich.
                     Frustration over a lack of employment as well as a lack of child care and transportation services which are taken for granted in other parts of the state can cause many normal people to feel abandoned by a society who feel that they are not worthy of the help others receive without asking.  Just because Washington County has received a bad reputation in recent years doesn’t mean there aren’t people  willing to put in a day’s work for a day’s pay. They just haven’t been given the chance.  So stop generalizing about those in Washington County and give a hand to those who are in need of help to escape the cycle of violence.

    • Anonymous

      Really sick and tired of your negative comments about the people of Washington County. Have you ever been to Washington County for an extended amount of time? There are a lot of good people here. Most are hard working and wouldn’t hesitate to give the shirt off their back. It’s people like you, who give the people of Washington County a bad name, because you have stereotyped them into one mold. If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all!!!

      I will also have you know, I am a domestic violence survivor and neither my ex nor myself have ever been involved in drugs or alcohol!

      • Anonymous

        well said! 

  • Anonymous

    Knightcross if dont like WC than move.

  • Anonymous

    Domestic violence is not restricted to Washington County, or just to Maine, its widespread and will continue to get worse. When weak men try to do by Legislation, that which God did not in creation, its a serious problem. But try as they will, they will never make a Brown rock, Green.

  • Guest

    How do you Cope with Domestic Violence… Isn’t that the root of the problem???
    I cope with the heat in my house down to 60 degrees at night… I cope with Obama being President. 
    Can we jail mean women?? This may not be politically correct but women marry their hero’s or images of their Dads.. They are never satisfied with what their men provide for them,, women want nice cars and a big house, nice clothes gold rings etc, etc… When they don’t get their fairy tale lives they get mean and nasty.. People have lost hope and it creates a violent setting in homes… People expect to much from one another… Both sexes are weaker and more scared then they admit… When you work 40/50/60 hours a week to just pay bills it wears on people… There is no reset button. School’s need to teach ecomonics….. $$$$ is the problem and nobody wants to admit it….

    • Anonymous

      Men get that way too.

  • Anonymous

    I love that Travis posed for his picture in front of my office. 

    • Anonymous

      camera made him gain weight too, or the desk job did, one out of the two.

  • Make alcohol illegal and domestic violence would come to a complete stop.

    • Anonymous

      Alcohol is the problem in SOME of the incidents associated with domestic violence. Domestic violence has been going on for many, many years……it just was never talked about until the past 20 years or so. Alcohol was not a contributing factor in my case. My ex grew up around abuse, and he also has some pychological problems. The latter comes out after you have been with them for a while. They are cunning and attentive at first, then slowly wear away at you, over time…….and you don’t realize it’s going on.

      I would like to say, unless you have been a victim, have done some research on domestic violence or have worked (volunteered) at a shelter, are an officer of the law or a judge, you don’t really know the dynamics of domestic violence and have no knowledge to base your assumption on.

      • I  base my statement  by recalling an article in the Morning Sentinel about 5 years ago , a Maine state cop saying domestic violence were the most difficult [words to the that effect]  police calls, and alcohol drinking was always a factor.

        Put me in a room with EVERYONE AND ANYONE  that wants to reduce domestic violence, i would look them in the faces and say banning alcohol in the state would end domestic violence more than any of your solutions.

        Of course that will never be done. Blaming booze is blasphemy in this State. Booze is the God of the people in this State.

        • Anonymous

          There are other factors BESIDES alcohol involved in domestic violence. Banning alcohol is not going to end domestic violence. Look at the murder of the man in Belfast who terrorized his wife and had planned on killing the President. Or Amy Lake and her family. No alcohol in those cases. Not every case of domestic abuse involves alcohol….maybe a majority, but not ALL. Unfortunately, drugs do too. Sometimes it’s abuse through the generations and it’s a learned behavior. Sometimes there is a psychological problem. Sometimes it’s all of the above. I suggest you go to a shelter, talk to doctors, the police, judges, people who work within the prevention of domestic violence programs……talk to the victims themself!

          You can’t base your comment on ONE article you read……you need to be more well informed than that. And perhaps the officer said that domestic violence was USUALLY the factor……not ALWAYS.

    • Anonymous

      Didn’t work last time wouldn’t work this time…

  • Anonymous

    Where do you get the “attacking” assumption from? Have you ever gone to a shelter? I have…..two. And no one there ever “attacked” men. People DO realize that it’s not just men who abuse…….but a major percentage of abusers are men. We have grown up in a society of men are superior to women, men are stronger than women. In some homes, that is taken literally. If a man were to make a claim of a woman abusing them, they feel no one will believe them. That is sad, because there ARE women who are abusers. Until society changes their perception of that, then abused men will not come forward. They are victims just like women are and the help is there for them, too.

    This is supposed to be under sweetie’s post.

    •  “but a major percentage of abusers are men”

      The reason why males are perceived as having committed the majority of abuse is because the majority of the REPORTED abuse cases are coming from female victims.  Where are the numbers for lesbian relationships?  Where are the numbers from gay relationships?  Until we have accurate reporting, the numbers will always be skewed to make it look like DV is mostly committed by males.

      “We have grown up in a society of men are superior to women”

      If women truly felt this way, then it is no wonder we live in a society of victims versus a society of achievers and doers.  Only YOU can allow someone else the power to feel superior to you.  If that’s a lifestyle and a belief you choose to follow, so be it.  I choose not to.  No man is superior to me.  Physically stronger, yes.  But not superior by any means.  Do not confuse physical strength with superiority.  Anyone choosing to use their greater physical strength against another as a means of achieving what they want is nothing more than a bully.  We all know the true inferiority complex most bullies suffer from internally.

      • Anonymous

        Are you saying that by knowing the statistics of domestic abuse in lesbian relationships will somehow alter the numbers so they are not “skewed to make it look like DV is mostly committed by males”?  Just wondering…

        • What I am saying is the numbers being reported do not paint a complete picture of DV.  Since the DV industry still points to males as being the primary perpetrator of DV, then it would stand to reason that acts of DV is lesbian relationships would be pretty much non-existent.  Likewise, gay males should be beating the tar out of each other.  Do the numbers support these assumptions or not?  Or do gay and lesbian couples just not bother reporting acts of DV?

          • Anonymous

             Domestic violence is an INDUSTRY??? That’s good. Why must the numbers of victims and abusers be seperated into groups of lesbians and gays? But you are right when you say the numbers don’t paint a complete picture, because I am sure there are a lot that do not get reported……..no matter what or who they are. Why not show the numbers for each economic background…….because domestic violence has no boundries.

  • Anonymous

    It’s quite apparent that some of you folks commenting do not actually read these articles.  I see no mention of specifying that the services of TNS are just for women. 

  •  lakesregion I can agree with the opening statement to a point: “Domestic violence is one of the most despicable and cowardly crimes that can be done…” but today it isn’t limited only to women. Society in its ‘equality’ has begun to swing in both directions wtih men becoming battered as well as the batterers. This can be less common, but does happen. Some men may be more ashamed of being battered, so the numbers may be more than reported.

    As far as the person who believes “DV nuts” are liars and have thier own agenda, I would ask him to ride with the deputies and friends who rescue women in the middle of the night and see how much money they are making when these emergency calls come. These people at times have to put themselves in harm’s way before being able to find a safe shelter for a woman and perhaps children. They have no 4 star hotel to put them up in when the calls go out.  If Domestic Violence was a fraud, this would have been exposed by the free press years ago. Instead it is the free press that keeps exposing us to the danger of batterers and their victims.  Look reality in the face, DV isn’t pretty and it’s not funded by a billion dollar industry. If it was, there would be “victims” proudly waiting at shelters wanting their piece of the pie.

  • Anonymous

    Protection orders can also be abusive. I hope they have witnesses and it is a serious issue/crime before hurting someone in that nature.

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