Tune up the pitchfork because it is time to frighten the neighbors and small children with this, my latest carol retooling.

Hard to believe this is No. 5, starting years ago with the first, “A Gardener’s Jingle” set to “Jingle Bells.” Then came the wondrous “Green Garden” sung to “White Christmas.”

I took an inexplicable year off, then started rhyming again with “O Garden Mine,” a not-so-subtle copy of “O Christmas Tree.”

Last year’s “Frost Leaves Your Plants Dead” was inspired by the cool “Frosty the Snowman,” and it left me wondering if I could ever top that.

And how!

With apologies to the unknown Ukrainian (if you can believe the Internet) who wrote the inspiration, the delightful “Carol of the Bells,” here is “Carol of the Worms.”

Happy holidays, all.

Sing of the worm

Soft, squishy worm

Calling all day:

“Throw scraps this way.”

Warm weather here

Sunlight they fear

Winter arrives

Dig deep or die

Casting away

Working all day

Making new dirt

For flower spurts.

Without their toil

Say “goodbye, soil”

And to the trees

For Christmas needs

Robins have found

Worms without sound

’Neath hill and dale

Rare do they fail.

Bring on the spring

How the world sings

For now the roots

Fuel new shoots

Merry, merry, merry, merry castings

Merry, merry, merry, merry castings

More, more they give

Helping us live

May we atone

Keep green our homes

Casting away

Casting away