I am in no position to give out fashion tips or style suggestions.
I am at the point in my life when someone is going to gift me some velcro-secured walking sneakers, possibly just prior to seeking out the 4-6 p.m. buffet bus which with then drop me off at the casino for the two free chips when you show your stamped buffet ticket. It’s cool.
However, there has been discussion regarding Officer Carter’s hairdo. Some have termed it a “hair-don’t” (I believe it was me, but in a moment of weakness when I found it difficult to be kind).
I recently mentioned that Carter sports a “Po-Po Pompadour”.
I wrote: “Officer Justin Carter was doing his duty at the high school basketball tournament games (and some of mine while I’m out of town).
We are all a little sad that Carter could not have presented his perfectly groomed hair there due to important uniform regulations which are enforced by some of the Chief’s henchmen.
It should be said that he spends far more time on grooming his perfect po-po Pompadour than anyone else currently employed as a cop in our fine city.
Word from moosecamp was that he even kept up his grooming standard while stalking game in the far north this past fall.
This lad is committed.”
Then, inevitably, I was inundated with messages about the fact that he was wearing his 8-point cap. In other words-how could anyone tell what his triple-P even looked like?
It was revealed recently after a late-night drink run for shakes.
Sometimes I feel like I am narrating an Archie’s episode, but I will continue to do the best that I can with the gifts which have been bestowed on me.
Here he is in all his glory. I suspect the “product” he uses to keep this beehive planted tightly high on his little melon is wearing down by this time in the early morning hours. I don’t know really. I am not going to touch it. Not because he is so tall but because that would be creepy and it appears, to this old guy, that he might enjoy it too much.
Definitely don’t try to take his milkshake. Evidently, this milkshake, draws the boys OUT of your yard and back to the station to work on reports at 3 a.m.
Thanks to Dylan Hall for snapping the pic for us. Come to think of it, that is also a little creepy.
Hey, the kid loves his hair.
Have a swell Thursday.
Keep your hands to yourself, leave other people’s things alone, and be kind to one another.
We will be here. Call us if you need us.
BPD Duck of Justice is published in BDN Maine Weekly on Thursdays. This installment is for March 8.