Articles by Emmet Meara
TO WIT (blog)
The gruesome dangers of hamburgers, corn and strawberry shortcake. Or, there goes my summer.
on May 15, 2013, at 10:10 a.m.
Bad food By fat emmet Some people exist solely to ruin my life, I swear. To defend myself, I should learn to be more selective, in my friendships and especially in my voracious reading. I read from morning to night, falling asleep reading some E-book about another violent bank robbery. ...
TO WIT (blog)
Sarcasm. Use it!
on May 08, 2013, at 10:06 a.m.
Sarcasm By wry emmet Frank Renew, The bard of Palatka, has eternally dubbed Cobb Manor “The Academy of Sarcasm.” And who could argue with him? I was born in a sarcastic family in a sarcastic neighborhood. Some have dismissed the practice as passive aggressive (I prefer creative) or the very ...
TO WIT (blog)
SPLASH!
on May 01, 2013, at 10:13 a.m.
Splash By soaking Emmet It’s that time of year again. That time when you don’t have to chip the newspaper from the ice on the front lawn. Before we all turned into very old fogies, the third week in May always meant it was time for another manly trip with ...
TO WIT (blog)
$$$$$$$$$$$$
on April 24, 2013, at 9:23 a.m.
Lott By poor emmet Don’t get me wrong. I have never met Stephen and Terri Weaver of Stuttgart, Arkansas. But I do hate them. You have probably forgotten about the Weavers and their lottery winnings. I haven’t. First Stephen (hate him) won $1 million in the Arkansas lottery in early ...
TO WIT (blog)
Ground Zero.
on April 17, 2013, at 9:54 a.m.
Boylston By grieving Emmet Let’s face it, they will find the low-life scum who bombed the Boston Marathon. If they found out who bombed the airliner over Lockerbie, they can do anything. I will look forward with a burning passion to watch the announcement of their capture, prosecution and imprisonment. ...
TO WIT (blog)
read, read, read.
on April 10, 2013, at 11:14 a.m.
Mags By reading emmet I am shooting for July 4. By then (I hope) I can catch up with the frightening pile of magazines now piled on my queen-size bed. It is the annual byproduct of my “Mooching across America Tour” in which I hide from winter’s terrible winds by ...
TO WIT (blog)
Thrill. Gone.
on April 03, 2013, at 9:31 a.m.
Yanks By hating Emmet The thrill is gone. If you are a New Englander, your love of baseball is a complex thing. Certainly you enjoy that warning track, leaping catch, the ninth inning strikeout, or the natural speed used to beat out an infield hit. There is nothing quite like ...
TO WIT (blog)
six hours in a Florida mall.
on March 27, 2013, at 11:18 a.m.
Devices By electric Emmet. All right. I am an addict. I need professional help. I cannot get through the day without spending hours and hours on my computer, Kindle and/or IPod. If I am watching television, I have a computer or Kindle in my lap, doing e-mail or my addiction-within-an ...
TO WIT (blog)
Dali!
on March 20, 2013, at 10:09 a.m.
SALVADOR By arty emmet It wasn’t me. It was nasty old Henry Ford who said “Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.” Now, I know that Henry was a ...
TO WIT (blog)
Phils and Marys
on March 13, 2013, at 10:25 a.m.
Phillies Life can be difficult. Very difficult. Like those daily decisions. Should I go to a baseball game in Dunedin (Blue Jays), Clearwater (Phillies) or Tampa (Yankees, ptui!)? These are the times that try men’s souls. Last week, hiding from the Maine winter in sunny Florida, I decided to investigate ...
TO WIT (blog)
Me ‘n Mose
on March 06, 2013, at 10:28 a.m.
Mose By musical Emmet I can never decide. If Mose Allison is on the headset, I think is my all-time favorite. If Leonard Cohen is on, then, of course, it is him. Same with Aretha Franklin, then Otis Redding. I must decide. I have 2,200 songs on iTunes. That wasn’t ...
TO WIT (blog)
Who are these guys?
on Feb. 27, 2013, at 10:05 a.m.
Toronto By baseball Emmet As Butch said to Sundance, “Who are these guys?” That question floated around Florida Auto Exchange Stadium (honest) in Dunedin, Florida on Monday. It was my first look at my (occasionally) beloved Red Sox since I gave up on my $500 Fort Myers spring training tickets, ...
TO WIT (blog)
Rocky, Rocky Mount
on Feb. 20, 2013, at 8:11 a.m.
Rocky By Travelling Emmet For 20 years or more Rocky Mount, North Carolina has been my Valhalla, my haven, my refuge. On my annual Exodus from Maine winters, I would drive mightily south to cross the North Carolina border, to stop, relax and unwind at the Rocky Mount Comfort Inn. ...
TO WIT (blog)
Nemo dredges up memories
on Feb. 13, 2013, at 8:50 a.m.
Storm By windy emmet As I sat huddled and cowering last week waiting for Nemo to blow the roof off stately Cobb Manor, I had to think back to the infamous blizzard of 1969. That wild storm descended on the city of Gloucester with little warning. There was no Weather ...
TO WIT (blog)
joy riding.
on Feb. 06, 2013, at 8:06 a.m.
Auto theft By thieving Emmet I had no idea I was part of a car theft ring until last week. I wrote a column about sort of running away from home in a new Ford dump truck, from Boston to Alexandria, Virginia. I was an innocent accomplice, even if the ...
TO WIT (blog)
crazy davey and the brand new Ford dump truck.
on Jan. 30, 2013, at 9:41 a.m.
Dump By runaway Emmet It is time. The Super Bowl is upon us and the Patriots are not even in it. That means only one thing. It is time to pack for the annual trip to Florida and spring training baseball, a tradition established in 1993 when the Red Sox ...
TO WIT (blog)
Boom!
on Jan. 23, 2013, at 9:25 a.m.
Robbery By holdup Emmet It might not have been the funniest night of all time. But it was pretty close. Renaissance man Jon Bailey (photographer, artist, wine maker and raconteur) reminded me of it this week, since he was the star. You have to remember Rockland in the old and ...
TO WIT (blog)
Cup o’ Tea?
on Jan. 16, 2013, at 10:06 a.m.
Downtown By emmet I have always been a day late and a dollar short…sometimes thousands of dollars short. Thus, I have resisted the steady drumbeat in support of another PBS show, which I took to be “Downtown Abbey.” It took me several years to learn that people were actually extolling ...
TO WIT (blog)
kindles and e-papers
on Jan. 09, 2013, at 9:19 a.m.
Online By emmet I’ve tried. Heaven knows I’ve tried. I don’t think I can do it. In an effort to step into the new century (and save $700) I canceled my Daily Globe at Fowlie’s Overpriced Emporium and signed up for the e-paper. Like any good merchant (or drug dealer) ...
TO WIT (blog)
I firmly resolve…
on Jan. 02, 2013, at 11:02 a.m.
Resolutions By lazy emmet You can forget New Year’s resolutions. Most of you have already. Even if I made them, they would fade with the memory of the last location of my car keys, glasses and parking spaces. At Cobb Manor, there is plenty of reason for improvement, but no ...
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