Tips for better mother-in-law, daughter-in-law relations

By McClatchy-Tribune News Service, Special to the BDN
Posted March 15, 2013, at 1:38 p.m.

Why are in-law relationships so difficult? Deanna Brann, a leading expert on mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationships, Huffington Post wedding blogger and author of the new book “Reluctantly Related: Secrets To Getting Along With Your Mother-in-Law or Daughter-in-Law,” says, “Let’s face it, the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationships start out artificially. You aren’t family through blood, you didn’t choose to be friends, so what is this relationship and how can you make it a good one?”

Brann has identified four different patterns in the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law dynamic. Understanding perceptions and reactions in each of these patterns can help smooth your relations.

Camelot: The ideal family dynamic can happen if individuals respect each other, accept their respective roles and honor each other’s boundaries.

Walking on eggshells: In this relationship, everyone is struggling with who they are, looking at someone else and pointing fingers without acknowledging their own behavior.

Does she seem nuts to you?: The most challenging pattern, one person throws a wrench into everyone else’s experience and affects all the relationships around her.

It is … what it is: You and your mother in law have different ideas about your relationship. One of you is fine with the way things are, and the other one wants to have a stronger relationship.

Distributed by MCT Information Services

 

http://bangordailynews.com/2013/03/15/living/tips-for-better-mother-in-law-daughter-in-law-relations/ printed on September 17, 2014