From single to soul mate: Make couple resolutions

By Jeff Herring and Maritza Parra, McClatchy-Tribune
Posted Dec. 31, 2012, at 5:16 p.m.

With the new year, everyone is thinking about what they want to change about themselves.

To that end, here are seven suggestions for couple resolutions:

1. Remember first attractions. It’s so easy in the general messiness of living with another person to forget about what attracted you to each other in the first place. This would be a good list to make and a good conversation to have every now and then.

It’s been said by my favorite author (Author Unknown) that “When you are up to your neck in alligators, it’s hard to remember the original objective was to drain the swamp.” This applies here big time.

2. Fight for relationship. Couples fight sometimes. That’s just part of the territory. So since you are going to fight, why not decide in advance what to fight for, yes? I suggest fighting for the relationship. Most folks fight to be right. Fight for the relationship.

3. Live below your means. Now I’ve gone from preaching to meddling, right? The happiest couples I know are not necessarily the richest couples I know. The happiest couples I know are those without significant money worries. The best way to achieve this is to live below your means.

4. Know love language. In what way does your partner best experience and feel loved? Is it actions like acts of service? Is it words? Is it being touched? The best way to find out is to ask.

5. Speak love language. Once you know the love language of your partner, speak it. Radical notion I know, but it works. The temptation is to speak in our own love language. Often that is not the language of our partner. Know it and speak it.

6. Regular date night. This could be the best couple resolution of all. You dated when you were getting together. Why stop? A regular date night allows you to spend quality couple time together, and gives you something to look forward to each week or month.

7. Daily time together. I don’t care if it’s just 15 minutes. Couples need this time to keep the connection strong. In the hustle and bustle of each day, couple time is often the first thing to go. Schedule it if you have to, just make sure you get it in.

Jeff Herring is a former marriage and family therapist and relationship coach who teaches entrepreneurs, information marketers and small business owners to write, market and monetize articles about their expertise for more prospects, publicity and profits.

Maritza Parra is a coach who has appeared on Oprah’s XM Radio Show “The Soul Series” and teaches entrepreneurs how to create products to duplicate themselves for years to come.

For more information, visit creativedateideas.com.

@2012, Jeff Herring and Maritza Parra

Distributed by MCT Information Services

 

http://bangordailynews.com/2012/12/31/living/from-single-to-soul-mate-make-couple-resolutions/ printed on April 18, 2014