Comments for: Eye doctors warn of champagne: You could poke an eye out with that

Posted Dec. 28, 2012, at 12:19 p.m.
Last modified Dec. 28, 2012, at 3:45 p.m.

PORTLAND | The nation’s top ophthalmologist group has a warning for celebrants planning to pop open a champagne bottle this time of year: It’s all fun and games until someone pokes an eye out. The American Academy of Ophthalmology issued an announcement this month saying “improper cork-removal techniques cause …

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  • Anonymous

    Do these same rules apply to sparkling wine?

  • Anonymous

    Alcohol makes a person age in dog years.

  • PaulNotBunyan

    I will have my usual cup of coffee or cocoa when the year changes. No eye damage here which means I will see you next year.

  • Bill Cat

    Now there’s an earth shattering bit of information right there — don’t point a champagne cork at my eye. Never wanted to, come to think of it. I think my own mother came from a neighborhood of one-eyed kids because almost anything we could pick-up or hold in two hands “could put somebody’s eye out!” Got a feeling this is preaching cork warnings to the screw-off cap crowd, tho.

    • County Escapee

      Did your Mom warn you about those Daisy air rifles too?

      • Bill Cat

        Short of running around with a pointed stick, those were way at the top of the list. Of course, half the fun was sticking the end in the dirt so we could blast soil and pebbles at each other.

        • County Escapee

          Isn’t that nice… It never occurred to us to make them a scatter gun.
          But then I didn’t have a father that swore at the furnace or thought of a stockinged leg lamp as art either.

          • Bill Cat

            Me either, the old man thought the furnace was a modern marvel and mainly swore about Commies, Krauts and Japs. Not PC, but that’s what some of us Baby Boomers grew up with.

  • Go out and get a 6 pack of YooHoo

    • Bill Cat

      Getting tough to find YooHoo sometimes. The best was the little cans at the drive-in movies…

  • Anonymous

    Hmm… no stats about how many eyes have gotten damaged? Just curious… and of course don’t shake the bottle and aim it away from people. I guess the danger is greater when some have been consuming long before the champagne is uncorked. I’ll be boozeless but still need to be careful with the fireworks (a roman candle ball really CAN come out the back…).

  • Anonymous

    The amazing thing is people get paid for this crapola.

  • Anonymous

    Maybe we should yell out a warning before unpopping the bubbly. Fire in the hole? Fore? Duck? Clear the area? Everyman for himself? Women and children first? Everyone to your battle station?

  • Ben Hutchins

    The only proper way to uncork champagne is with a cavalry saber. Anything else is ungentlemanly.

    • Bill Cat

      I’d like to see that in person, seriously… Easy to picture every possible disaster could happen — busted candle stick or light bulbs, 3″ off somebody’s hair, cat with a bandaged tail, canned ham drawn and quartered — and half that damned cork would still be sitting safely in the bottle.

      • Ben Hutchins

        Go to YouTube and search for “champagne sabrage” – plenty of examples, many of them without incident. (A little hunting around will even turn up a video of someone doing it with a clothes iron, which is a bit déclassé, but stylish in a devil-may-care sort of way, and his technique is quite good.)

        • Bill Cat

          Ben, gotta admit I was thinking ‘saber’ like Civil War — 3′ long and carried by officers on horseback — and trying to figure that one out. Sounded more like a Cossack trick… Check it out, pretty cool but I’ll keep a corkscrew handy. Thanks.

          • Ben Hutchins

            Well, that was the implement originally used for sabrage, hence the name – very popular with officers of the French cavalry during the Napoleonic Wars – but it can be done with any fairly heavy metal thing. Clothes iron, camping hatchet, chef’s knife, whatever. It’s not actually important whether what you use is sharp, since in classical sabrage you use the back of the blade anyway – it’s just about striking a particular part of the bottle quickly and hard.

  • Betty Eyer

    Are people really stupid enough to need such warnings? Never mind. I don’t want to know, really.

  • Anonymous

    Hey now..Champagne corks dont kill people..PEOPLE kill people…

  • Anonymous

    Sometimes I wish I could travel back to the land and times of Cary Grant, Frank Sinatra and Judy Garland, when people had FUN without guilt and real things to worry about.

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