Comments for: My husband sought casual sex before he died. How do I mourn him now? My husband sought casual sex before he died. How do I mourn him now? The final episode (if it even took place) could have been a last bit of sexual bravado for a dying man. Read More My husband sought casual sex before he died. How do I mourn him now? Back to story → Guidelines for posting on bangordailynews.com The Bangor Daily News and the Bangor Publishing Co. encourage comments about stories, but you must follow our terms of service. Keep it civil and stay on topic No vulgarity, racial slurs, name-calling or personal attacks. People who harass others or joke about tragedies will be blocked. The primary rule here is pretty simple: Treat others with the same respect you'd want for yourself. Here are some guidelines (see more): It should be noted this is not a comprehensive list. Don't insult one another or the subjects of BDN stories. You may be ticked off at what someone did or said, but you can explain that without resorting to name-calling or obscenity. Remember that young people are on this site too. That nasty line that makes your buddies go "haw, haw"? You're better than that. Comments should be your own work, not copied and pasted from elsewhere, though brief quoted passages to make your point are fine. And please don't use all capital letters. There's no need to shout. Stay focused on the issue in the article. Off-topic posts will be deleted. This isn't a forum to chat about your personal life. Some ideas — the fate of the earth, abortion, gun control, the nature of God — aren't going to be resolved in a reader forum, so no need to get frustrated if others don't see your point of view. State your position once and leave it at that. If you mouse over each comment you will see a "Flag" button. Please use it if you feel comments on the site are out of line. Quite often, we won't see a comment until it's reported. Questions about why a comment was — or wasn't — deleted? E-mail us at email@example.com and let us know your username and where you posted or saw the comment. That's about it: Stick to writing about the stories; be civil; be kind; enlighten your neighbors. And we'll keep moderating posts to try to ensure everyone meets those standards. Anonymous Dear Betrayed, It sounds to me like you’re not going to get over it and, with your new knowledge, that you wish you had never been in it. Fine, if you can’t tough it out and give him the benefit of the doubt in death and deal with it as a widow should in the usual way, then don’t. Walk away. But first, have someone give his ashes to his family, tell them that the services are up to them, and that you will have nothing to do with it or them. Then change your name, move on, and pretend you had never been married to the guy. That’ll show him, won’t it? Al Brady lol…. Gardiner Moody Human beings are _not_ monogamous no matter how much we want to pretend they are. No matter how much we close your eyes, plug our ears, and stomp our feet. No matter how much we want to believe that “love” will conquer “base sexuality.” This is something that human beings do. This kind of solicitation is something that human beings with relative anonymity will do. All human beings want to have sex, even just the idea that someone might want to have sex with you is sexually gratifying. Anonymous sex; doubly so. Do not feel betrayed! This is natural human interaction. Do not let your husband’s being human degrade the love that you shared. Anonymous There are those of us who ARE monogomous. I do not regard this as ” natural human interaction”. The worst thing about betrayal like this, is the dishonesty that prevails, not so much the cheating, as bad as that is. Anonymous Your first sentence is absurd. Humans are not animals and CAN be monogamous! Anonymous What amuses me is how it’s always the most repulsive dorks who posit this hypothesis. PaulNotBunyan Oink Oink Oink PaulNotBunyan Dear Betrayed, Like it’s obvious Snarky doesn’t appreciate her man so like put the moves on him before she gets him to the altar and like move on with your life. — PaulNotPrudie Anonymous Tell the family to come pick up his sorry ash. Anonymous Prudence did not give prudent advice as far as I’m concerned. Anonymous I should probably keep my comments to myself but here goes.. Is it possible that he loved you and maybe these affairs were a sort of bucket list? And maybe he left the signs there for you to see cause he felt guilty? I have no idea just thinking out loud.. Either way good luck and god bless..