October 21, 2017
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Comments for: Maine supreme court sides with man trying to gain custody of son

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  • Anonymous

    I hope this man gets custody of his son.

    • Anonymous

      Yep. Seems this boy has a dad who wants him and a large extended family too. It would be a shame if he loses all that love. I’m sure it will be a sad day for the couple who are raising him. Where is King Solomon when we need him? 

    • Joe

      I do as well.  I wish all fathers put as much energy into their children as this young man.

  • Anonymous

    What a horrible atmosphere for men in the State of Maine when it comes to parenthood. Congratulations to this young man, for he has beaten the odds with the high and low card against him. Obviously he had access to much money, or some way to good legal help. Again congratulations because he’s pulled off the almost impossible in a state that heavily discriminates against men.

  • Anonymous

    This is going to be a real heart-breaker for somebody.  

  • B

    they are not his family and how do you know about the childs home life , you assume but do not know

  • B

    how do you know do you know them personally, and if they had given the father his child back in the beginning the pain would have been less all around reply to mamma

    • Anonymous

      Give the boy back to his father??—–When did he have him?   I guess I must have missed that when I read the story!

      • B

        give him his child are you happy now

    • Anonymous

      why would they just “give” this child to someone claiming to be the father–DNA results are not back yet are they?  It is too bad that it is taking so long as this child is becoming more and more attached to the people who have been raising him.

  • Anonymous

    Welfare of the Child please. 

  • Guest

    A judge is going to place this child in one of two homes-18 years from now or so everyone involved will see if the system worked to the child’s benefit.

  • Anonymous

    If this man is the boy’ father, he deserves a chance. Shame on the boy’s mother for not letting him have the child if she didn’t want him.

    • Guest

      Why?  What chance is it that he “deserves.”  A man’s sperm works it’s way into an egg, and that makes him a “father.”  Intention is important here.  Even now, this guy has repeated history, and yet, still isn’t married to the woman – he is only “engaged.”  Well, I’ll tell you — I know that being “married” first may not mean much, but it’s something more to shoot for than a one-night, or short-term encounter.

      • Anonymous

        “Why? What chance is it that he ‘deserves.'”

        If he’s the father, that’s all that is needed.

        Are you suggesting that all unintended pregnancies should result in the children being taken away from both parents? That’s absurd.

      • Bob

        We do not know all the details . A man dose not have many rights. If a woman say you are not the father could you make her give the baby a DNA test? without being charged with harassment? In my case She always said I was not the father and wanted me to leave her alone.Apparently at least one other was DNA tested .i was told that man was the father then almost 17 years latter served papers from DHHS saying I owed all this back support. I had no right any I would have had i was cheated out of. Any DNA did prove I was not the child. The child contacted me before the DNA came back.  Anyways It could have worked out differently an I would have been cheated of knowing the child and owed the money.

        • Anonymous

          “Any DNA did prove I was not the child.”

          Huh?

          • Bob

            Thanks I mean the child’s father. Any way I have a son that is 13. His mother lived with me till he was 4 1/2 . She married another guy . He lives with me half the time. His mother had a few issues . My son I do take care of I am not his biological father either. I have learned not to rescue a damsel in distress. Not all men are bad guy’s the system dose not give men the same rights women have. A lot more to being a father than just DNA.  Some people are cheated out of a chance of being a father by women and the system . Not the case with my son bio dad he has 5 kids he never supported . Warrants for his arrest in 2 different State’s . Comes to Maine and gets a $20k check for SSI the only jobs he ever he was being a professional con man.

      • Anonymous

        Once again- what are you talking about? Yes, his sperm made him a father and now he would like to become the Child’s Daddy. Intention at the time of conception means NOTHING. I daresay MOST of us were probably not “planned’. And he isn’t married to his other son’s Mother but they are engaged and have made a family. Are you saying only married people should raise children? This is the 21st century Mr/Mrs Pointaway. A family sometimes even has 2 Mommies or 2 Daddies. Learn to deal. 

        • Guest

          The Moderators deleted my post stating essentially that single people and non-heterosexual couples, and two or more unrelated people who aren’t sexually involved, who are committed to raising a child are fine parents.  And don’t tell me to “learn to deal.”  Meaningless comment.

          • Anonymous

            You talk about him “still not being married” like THAT is the end all be all…. and it’s not. You also seem very interested in the way this child was conceived and that is irrelevant- the point is, the child is here now and he has a father who wants to raise him and has a right to raise him. 

  • Anonymous

    If the DNA proves he is the father, then that right there is enough evidence for him to take custody of the boy.   It is nice that the family took the baby from the girl, but it is only a temporary custody.

  • Guest

    Acquiring a child, or a pet, for that matter, does not fix things that are broken.

    • Anonymous

      And just because someone says, “Hey take care of my baby- his Daddy doesn’t know he exists” doesn’t mean he’s yours to keep forever.

      • Anonymous

        I don’t think she told them that Daddy doesn’t know he exists, I think she hadn’t a clue who the father was.

    • It’s not for you to decide who can parents or be a pet owner.

  • Guest

    DNA shmee n a 

  • It is a sad situation when a woman is pregnant and doesn’t know who the father is.  Dad’s rights?  What about the child.  He needs to be concerned about what is best for his son?  I would like to see him stay in his son’s life but am not so sure that taking this child away from the only home he has known and giving him to this young man who does not have his own life together is in the child’s best interest.  It is a regretable situation right from the start.

    • Anonymous

      Just wondering if you actually read the article?  She knew who the Father was. What is having your life together exactly? The guardians could have backed out long ago when the child was still a baby merely 4 mos old when they found out the father was not going to consent, so because they had money to throw around on attorneys and drag this out for now 2 and 1/2 years they should keep the child from a family that is waiting to love and care for him in Indiana? Where does the court play in this? They should have made sure this was done correctly to begin with and maybe this series of events would have never taken place. Or maybe the Mother should have told the truth from the beginning.

    • Anonymous

      I agree Ronnie, I am also guessing these guardians did not know that the mother was keeping this child secret from his biological father.  Hopefully the judge will make sure his decision is based on what is best for the child.

      • Anonymous

        Exactly you are guessing as in all the comments that have been made, :)

  • Bob

    I was served papers saying I owed almost 17 years back child  support. The mother stated back then I was not the father.  It was not a fun process . I was told if I did not take a DNA test I would be forced to pay the child support for all the years I was cheated out of knowing my child. Well the DNA test turned I was not the father.  I already raise a son who I do not happen to have DNA in common. Even though his mother is married we still share custody. I may not have any legal rights. But I am still his father.

    • Anonymous

      Something similar happened to me in the eighties. Back then, there was no DNA testing available yet, but common blood typing which came back inconclusive. I was one of 4 possibles. Not only was I denied 3 years of the childs life, but had to pay up anyway. This person is an adult now and is not my child, but the deal is I had no rights at all. Except the right to pay.

      • Bob

        The sad part is you can never get that time or money back. If a woman waits years to inform a man he might be the father or Lies about it . the man is cheated out of his rights as a parent . You can not put a money value on that. Then expecting a man to pay for what he was cheated out of is so wrong. Lets say the woman is seeing someone else. Got prego again 3 months latter an married to some else would a man have the right to demand a DNA test if she denied sleeping with you? or would you be charged with harassment? Men do not have rights . Not all men are selfish pigs like some feminist groups would want you to believe. 

  • Anonymous

    …. financial situation and “immaturity” to determine whether he was fit to care for his son. wow nice Court..based on that 90% of the people on MaineCare should not have their children!   The child is young..there will be no trauma of him moving to be with his father.    Really does anyone clearly remember when they were 2 1/2 years old……the child will be find.

    • Anonymous

      I agree… He will be fine but they need to speed the process up and not slow it down. Anyone remember the Baby Jessica case way back when? 

    • Guest

      ——

    • Anonymous

      I am certainly not saying that the father shouldn’t get his child but their certainly will be trauma for a 2 and a half year old that is taken from the only home and parents he has ever known.  Glad to see that the child and father have had visits and are getting to know each other with a webcam, should make it a bit easier for this child.  I do hope that if the father gets custody of his child that he will keep in touch with the people who loved and protected his son for the first two and a half years of his life.

  • Anonymous

    exactly 11 years ago my son was put in this type of situation although he was only 19 (and had a juvenile record)  at the time he wanted his son but was told no he was in an adopted foster home and the mother had lost her rights to raise the child and had signed him over to the state the day he was born and the state refused to let him sign the birth certificate.  My son was at the hospital when he was born but was denied seeing him after she signed him over to the state.  To make a long story short it took us four months of fighting the state of maine and a dna test (which took 2 of those months for results) before a judge decided in his favor that the state should never had taken his son and he was granted full custody.  11 years later I have a healthy happy grandson who loves his dad.  So people please there can be a positive out of this but what right does anyone have to deny this child the right to know and be with his natural parent.  The state will make him take a parenting class and also monitor the situation for 6 months after.  I know been there done that.   Also if having a criminal record means you can’t raise a child then there are alot of children in Maine that I guess need a new place to live.

    • Anonymous

      I totally agree with everything you said, I was also married to twice to men that had custody of their sons so times are changing when it comes to custody of the children going only to the mother.  My only concern in this case is that the father couldn’t control himself and went out driving while drunk, something you just don’t do–especially when you are fighting for your rights to parent your own child.  Makes me wonder if he will be able to control his behavior once he has a toddler to take care of. 

  • Guest

    When Angus was Governor, he would never have had a chance to get him back.. Angus King loved the foster child money making scheme.. The Feds paid big money for the head count in Maine. They liked taking cute kids because they were easier to place,.

  • Guest

    Nice to see a man step up like this. I wish him well.

  • Anonymous

    What a story. My heart goes out to both sides of the folks that this story involves.  The mother is at fault in all of this by her deception.  I will say that I admire that this young man is stepping up to the plate and trying to take responsibility.  My heart aches for the guardians who have been fill in parents and have bonded with this little boy.  They had to have known going in to this situation of the risks involved.

  • ask

    if the child is his of course he should get custody only makes sense the child belongs with his father if the mother doesen’t want him how many kids never get to be with or know who there father is and the fact that he is making an effort to get custody of his son is def a sign that he is somewhat responsible just because someone spends time in jail doesen’t make them evil he just made some bad choices there are plenty of other parents out there that i know of that are monsters compared to this gjuy

    • Anonymous

      a bad choice that could have destroyed innocent people’s lives or even killed his own child if he had been driving drunk with his son?  I only hope the judge makes sure an indepth home study is done to make sure the father and his home is safe for this small child.

      • Anonymous

        Maybe there should be an in depth home study where the child is now, you assume the private guardians do not have any backgrounds that may be questionable as well, the state didn’t choose the guardians the Mother did. You also assume this Father would drink and drive with a child you do not know do you? These accusations are all but factual. You do not know where or what position this Father is now. In July when he got the charge his rights were terminated he did not know obviously that the Law court would side with him, maybe he was distraught over it all , I do not feel it is ok to pass judgment on someone we know nothing about but what was shared in this article.

  • Anonymous

    This just kills me. It is ok to just throw a PFA on someone based on heresy and a mental health evaluation with negative results, and disrupt the home, and place a traumatic change for the children and adult thrown out of the house, but to let them back in, everyone must except slow steps and change back even though those involved have not gotten used to the original traumatic change?   Something simple like a finding a home, and now the children have to move out of their neighborhood months after losing a full time parent that was more present than the other, according to a Spurwink representative and their interviews with people and the children.

    A big change for anyone is traumatic.  How about starting full day kindergarten after being home for 4-5 years or so?  Not everyone can afford pre school or qualify for head start, if there is a head start program.  

    Big change is not just traumatic for children and autistic people.  Look at empty nest, layoffs, and retirements.  Some people go back to work after retiring because the change is too much.  

    It is also not easy to change careers in this current economy or finding one either.  Even employers do not want to hire someone because the change could be too traumatic? One must step back into work, even if they worked years ago.  Once you know how to ride a bike, you never forget they say, but it seems like businesses don’t think that is so true.  After years you might not have the ability?  Even part time work isn’t enough of a step for full time work so it seems.  They are more concerned about how traumatic a big change could be?

    Yet, employers want people who can change with the changing environment?

    So should we be so protective of children, or let them get used to change as children, or should we have more concern with adults too, and then how can or do we handle employment and family changes to make it easier on all?

    Can it be traumatic or cruel to linger with people?

    Children grow up fast.

  • Anonymous

    Hey!  Why haven’t we’ve heard about the thief that ripped off all the dollars that were dontated to Healtcare Charities?  After all, it is your money?  Or not?

    • Anonymous

      My guess is they are still building the case for an arrest…. It’s not like tv. These things take time.

  • Anonymous

    Corporate America!  At it’s best!

  • Anonymous

    I work at healthecare company that pay all  the  “corporate” people  well over the three mark, but all they do is walk around that praise the people that make them look good.  

  • kennyh

    The mother should be forced to pay for all the fathers’ legal fees.

  • Anonymous

    Bill Trotter:  “general consensus” is redundant.  You can tighten up your writing by dropping “general”.  “Consensus” says it all.

  • Anonymous

    What a bunch of BS this man is stepping up and taking responsibility and he is having to fight, if this man was an abuser and druggie he would have had this child in custody already. i guess ill never understand the justice system.

  • Anonymous

    i wish people would practice birth control, or…..how about some self restraint & a bit of celibacy? i feel so sorry for all these children with who knows who for fathers, welfare mothers, abusive backgrounds etc. I hope this child fares well.. feel so sorry for these children born in these sticky circumstances.

    • Guest

      Agreed but for the “welfare mothers.”  There are women who are receiving assistance because they believed the guy they actually married, before they became pregnant, even, wanted a family – but – big surprise – they take off and leave the woman pregnant, and/or with a young child.  Let’s just avoid the term, eh?  A person is rarely wholly their societal label.

  • Anonymous

    It’s stories like this that make me wish they sent birth control to every person in the US in the mail. Seriously, it could have been one of many men who fathered the child? He can’t asset his rights because he’s in jail? Good grief. I’m sure I’ll get a bunch of “haven’t you ever made a ‘mistake'” replies…

  • Anonymous

     Speaking as a single Dad raising my children on my own,  my hat is off to you. I won full custody of my kids a few years ago and I have enjoyed every minute of it. 

  • Anonymous

    now if he can only stay out of trouble with the law and not kill anyone by driving drunk.

    • Anonymous

      This comment is really out of line. Put some more thought into what you are saying you have repeated yourself by saying the same opinion over and over I think we get the picture of your opinion.

      • Anonymous

        I have put a lot of thought into what I am saying–you keep repeating what your opinion is, guess there is no reason for me to continue to try to explain my opinions to you as you are pretty set in what you think.  There is absolutely nothing out of line by my comment, it does frighten me to know that you have stated you know so many people who drink and drive.  I also do not assume that the home the child is in has no issues—so obviously you are putting words into my mouth –so I guess you are not “getting the picture of what my opinion is.”  I sincerely do hope this father does the things he needs to do to get his child—I DO assume the judge will look at both home situations when deciding what is in the best interest of this child.  It seems obvious by your posts that you consider it just a little error in judgement if someone gets “distraught” and decides to drink and drive.  I am guessing you have never lost a loved one to a drunk driver–I believe your attitude would change drastically if you had.  I hope this guy learned from that incident as it certainly could have ended much differently.  Feel free to not read my posts if you find them thoughtless and repetitive.

  • Anonymous

    So you are suggesting that parents who have broken a law or laws or have spent time incarcerated should have their children removed from their care and or should have no rights to their children?

    • Anonymous

      To everyone who has brought up the laws that were broken by this youg man.

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