Comments for: Trista Reynolds struggling with evolving emotions as search for Ayla continues

Posted Jan. 12, 2012, at 12:13 p.m.
Last modified May 30, 2017, at 11:43 a.m.

PORTLAND | Trista Reynolds said she has gone from shocked to grief-stricken to furious as the search for her daughter, Ayla Reynolds, closes out its fourth week. “For the past week or two I’ve found myself lashing out at everyone,” she said Wednesday during a lengthy interview with the …

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  • Anonymous

    It’s  a sad story about this little girl being gone but give me a break saying she was her best friend.  Who is she kidding?

    • Anonymous

      There’s something about having a little baby that can’t be easily described. But the baby loves you unconditionally, and you CAN tell the baby everything, even the worst stuff, because the baby doesn’t understand and doesn’t judge and still loves you afterwards. And you feel better because you’ve had a chance to get it out. I understand the feeling she’s describing, and if she equates that to what she might get from a best friend, I get it. Don’t judge just because you don’t.

      • Anonymous

        I have 2 children and now 2 great grand children.  Yes our children love us when they are babies unconditionally but come on who confides and tell their young babies all their problems?  I guess the difference is I PREFER to be the parent and not my child’s best friend and not use them as a counselor.  That’s the problems with kids these days parents raising them as their friend instead of parenting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Anonymous

      STOP… lots of mothers, grandmothers, etc… say these things when they are suffering the loss of their child. Her description of the range of emotions seems perfectly normal to me… sadness, fear, anger, back to sadness and fear…. 

      So… what’s the dad saying? Well, for starters his first comments were that the police told him not to talk to the media or do anything. He just now decided that maybe it’s okay to hang up a few flyers.  His mother lied to the media about whether or not she was home with her son the night of the disappearance of Ayla and then she claimed she had to tell that lie to protect the police investigation.  What??? Who has to lie and say they were there at the time of the disappearance, that there was no party, that she was not the last to go to bed and doesn’t know if the door was or wasn’t locked?  How does that lie protect the police investigation?  

      This mother may have her flaws and faults but I haven’t seen her say or do anything inappropriate to finding her child but I have seen the father and his mother say and do plenty of inappropriate things… like LIE.   The baby was in his care at the time she disappeared and innocent people do NOT need to lie or have anyone lie for them.

      • Anonymous

        Why are you telling me to stop?  All I said was a comment about saying a baby was her best friend.  I didn’t accuse her of lying or anything else.  Just making a statement like you!

      • Anonymous

        I totally agree with you. People seem to want to see her bawling her eyes out anytime she is in front of a camera. Unless a person has had a missing child they cannot say how they would react. Also it has been a month…we all think we know what we would do but everyone deals with things differently. Emotions aren’t a science & neither are people. Plus she is trying to keep the story out there so hopefully it will bring Ayla home. As always prayers go out for her safe return & to her family.

  • Anonymous

    One question: what is this mother doing to find her child? 

    • Thats rude. She does have another child that she needs to care for too besides the fact that we only see what media wants us to see remember.

      • Anonymous

        It’s not rude…It’s a true fact! The mother comes off as selfish to me in this video…..”When I had her I knew that I didn’t have to share her”, “She’s my best friend and I tell her all my secrets”….Having a child is not all about you! It’s all about the child! What kind of life is this little girl going to have after she is hopefully found? Back to listening to her mom’s secrets? Yikes!

        • Anonymous

          This whole story is probably 10X more twisted than what we are actually seeing with these two “parents”.

        • Guest

          Everyone has a different maturity level. This young woman isn’t very mature but it doesn’t necessarily mean she is a monster as you make her out to be.
          I don’t know who had a hand in all this and won’t proclaim one more guilty than the other, she is talking as she should.

        • Anonymous

          What’s wrong with you?  I mean seriously… this mother has gone on tv despite all her embarrassing flaws just to get the word out about her missing baby and just to keep the media from moving on to the next story.  The day she stops talking to the media is the day this family risks never finding their child.  THAT is not selfish.  

          The father… well, he’s just now starting to put up flyers while all along has claimed that the police didn’t want him to talk to the media or do anything.  His mother, the baby’s paternal grandmother, did talk to the media but lied about her whereabouts on the night of the disappearance claiming she was home and then only later decided to come clean and say she wasn’t home that night.  Then she claimed that she only lied to protect the police investigation. What??? What???? That’s ridiculous… If she wasn’t there she should have said so instead of making it appear as if she had some knowledge about what was going on with her son, his friends and whether or not there was a party at the house the night of the disappearance.  If you want to criticize someone is this situation – criticize the Grandmother for lying probably to protect her son. 

          Lot’s of mothers say that there baby is their “best friend” and children often say they’re going to “marry their parents” but it’s not meant literal.  How would YOU act if you were in shock, denial, going through sadness, anger and all the emotions that go with the loss of a child?  You don’t know until you’re in that situation and no two people act exactly the same.  

          Cut this woman some slack – she’s got another baby to care for, yes… she’s talking to the media and keeping the story alive despite her rehab stay that has been put out there for people like you to judge and criticize.  Apparently she doesn’t care what you think of her… her baby matters more and she doesn’t want the media to go away and forget about Ayla… that’s what her father wants.  Question that…

        • Anonymous

          Makes me wonder what she will do so she doesnt have to share her, up until she went to rehab, she didnt have to share with Aylas Daddy.
          @ Jaymee, just because she has another child, it shouldnt hinder her in anyway to help find her missing child!

    • Anonymous

      Well for starters she IS cooperating with police – the police said that. And then she IS keeping the story alive in the media – unlike Dad who wants it to just go away and Grandmom who lies about her whereabouts on the night of the disappearance and then blames police for making her lie.  This mother did not have the baby with her when she disappeared… the father will NOT speak to her.  What do you want her to do??? Would you tell me?  She’s got another baby to care for and I don’t think she’s got a lot of cash or other resources in order to conduct a full scale search do you?

      Criticism is not constructive unless you’ve got some reasonable solution or even logical suggestions to make and you certainly aren’t offering any ideas, but you’re doing a lot of non-constructive criticism.

    • Anonymous

      Why don’t you give her some suggestions seeings you think she’s not doing it right.  You must believe that there is a certain protocol to follow when your child is taken from a house 75 miles away and you have no idea what the was going on and with whom at the time of the disappearance.  My God the grandmother can’t even decide if she was home or not that night — how is Trista suppose to know where to begin when the police don’t even know.  Please use you expertise and help her.

      • Anonymous

        just wahat i was thinking justbeing im wondering why all these excellent investigators and parents arent out there searching for baby ayla themselves? hmmm yuppp

    • Anonymous

      I think what we are seeing is immaturity. Someone not experienced in life. You can’t teach instinct. I know what my instinct would be.

      • Guest

        I think what we are seeing is immaturity. Someone not experienced in life. You can’t teach instinct. I know what my instinct would be.     
        **************************************
        Uh huh…so wha would YOU be doing to try to find your own 2 year old child if he/she was removed from her home under suspicious circumstances that include foul play?

  • Anonymous

    Nothing ! She wants to be a star. She said when Ayla was born,she didn’t have to share her with anyone. Just something I pick up on.

    • Anonymous

      I TOTALLY heard that too…..!

    • Anonymous

      oh so i must have had something to do with it to since i didnt want to share my son with anyone when he was born either its a first time mother thing

      • Anonymous

        Yeah, Well, I don’t think that was my first thoughts when I had my kids. I wanted people in their lives. Good people that is !

  • My 2 dogs escaped from their kennel yesterday. I was easily 10 times more emotional about it then either of these parents appear to be over their CHILD. Thankfully, the dogs are now home safely.

    • Guest

      Yes, so emotional that she has to keep calling BDN so they can write about it.

      • Anonymous

        So that’s what it takes to get in the paper?  Less emotion?  Fudge, no wonder nobody ever interviews me when my Hermit Crab hides in his shell, I am constantly crying when I call

      • Anonymous

        she doesnt have to go to BLN or call them they come to her hello they obv want to get the most ratings and by putting her story on thats how there doing it dont be ignorant.

        • Anonymous

          There are many Mainers who have the same opinion as Jenna Shorey. All you have to do is ask around. Those of us with children can certainly attest to the fact that we would be much more emotional if one of our children just up and disappeared. I would be beside myself. I would be on the edge of a nervous breakdown; screaming, puking, uncontrollably crying, restless. The lack of emotion certainly is an issue.

      • Anonymous

        I consider you comment extremely rude,  Bangor daily contacts you to be interviewed not them.  Might want to edit your comment and use some better judgement.

      • Anonymous

        I’m sure she’s picking up the phone and calling BDN and begging them to come and take her picture — Good Lord!

    • Anonymous

      Some people are very guarded and don’t show emotions in public. 

    • Anonymous

      yeah, she is out of it. if my child were still missing i would not be giving interviews about how i gave birth and stuff, i’d be freaking out! ayla’s still missing, isn’t she?!

    • Anonymous

      That is just rude and uncalled for. I love my dogs but that in no way compares to the love of  a child.

  • well we know how to find her mother, use a camera and a microphone….

    • Anonymous

      Exactly what the parents have been asked to do — so good for her to get herself together enough to speak out!

  • Anonymous

    This women can’t win.  She says anything and people start ripping her apart.  What a terrible situation to be in — But when the father talks (even though he’s been caught in his lies) these same posters are sympathetic and understanding.  Can’t wait for the media to start unleashing his past and whether or not drugs and alcohol was a part of that. 

    • Guest

      …..

  • Anonymous

    I think the mother should stop soaking up the spotlight and get her butt out there and help find her daughter. Telling a little child your problems of the day, come on!! Stop doing interviews about yourself and start doing them  about Ayla, she is the main focus here. I still think they should be looking closely at the other people that were in that house that night, Im sure they are but I have a bad feeling about it. Poor baby Ayla, this looks grim no matter how you look at it. If they dont find her which I hope they do, if not God is holding her in his arms and she will forever be safe.

    • Anonymous

      Where is she to look?  The police are searching the river should she buy a drysuit and jump in?  She probably doesn’t know who was at the party at Justin’s that night so she wouldn’t know where to look there either.  The police (McCausland) ask that the parent stay in the media — She is doing that — Good For Her!

    • Guest

      ….

      • Anonymous

        Au contraire, I think she is loving every bit of her way extended 15-minutes-of-fame!  What’s next, an hour on “48 Hours Mystery”??

        • Guest

          ….

          • Anonymous

            I said nothing about either her gender or being in rehab or whether one side is more believable than the other.  Enough is enough, already — who needs to hear any more about this?  Report the news — this is tabloid “infotainment”!

          • Guest

            ….

    • Anonymous

      The mother is the reason why this is even in the media and in case you missed it – she’s got another baby she is caring for.  Another poster suggested that she hop on an ATV and search somewhere.  But where? Ayla went missing in another town… the father isn’t telling anyone who was really at the home or if he was having a party as has been reported by neighbors.  Mom could drop everything and search all by herself but she accomplishes much more by keeping Ayla in the news.  
      This mother is acknowledging her flaws and keeping the spotlight on Ayla despite the criticism she gets from people like you.  She’s doing far more to find her daughter than the father is or has been.  He was responsible for the safety and well being of their daughter when she went missing. Ayla was in his care and only now is he starting to hang posters.  His mother lied and told the media she was in the home the night Ayla went missing and then recanted and said she only lied to protect the integrity of the police investigation.  Really?  How does lying about being home when she wasn’t there protect anyone but her son? Maybe you’re focus is a bit off… the father’s attorney was the first to suggest that the media back off but you know what… when the media backs off this investigation will be over and Ayla will probably never be found.  

      If you feel the need to criticize anyone why not start with the parent who was responsible for her on the night she disappeared?  I hope they find this baby alive but it’s getting less and less likely.  So, what you going to do if the baby turns up deceased? Are you going to blame the mother for that too? Are you going to analyze how she’s grieving? Will you continue to see the Dad as someone who shouldn’t be expected to be responsible for his baby when she’s in his care? Don’t even say you’re not doing that either because there is no criticism of him – just blame the mother.

      • Anonymous

        “… the father isn’t telling anyone who was really at the home or if he was having a party as has been reported by neighbors.”

        He is telling police the two items you mention.  That is ALL he needs to tell it to.  And about the “party” thing.  It is now being reported that 3 adults and two children were in the home.  If you use some deduction base on what has been reported, it is easy to figure out (for the most part) who was there.

        Adults: Justin, his sister and the “mystery woman” from Portland (who had her car removed and returned).

        Children: Ayla and Justin’s sister’s child.

        Two points:  Hardly sounds like the large party many speculators have alluded to.  Why is nothing and I mean nothing being said about the “mystery woman” from Portland?

        • Anonymous

          You don’t need any more people than what you described to have a small party that involves drinking, possibly drugs, music, not paying attention to children, etc… THAT is a fact.  

          It is also a fact that the mother of the child was not there so there is no reason to expect her to know anything about what happened to her baby and there is no reason why she shouldn’t talk to the media.  

          The media gets much of their information from police files… no Justin doesn’t have to speak to the media.  He doesn’t have to ask for help looking for his baby. He doesn’t have to do a thing.  But… as a parent and a grand parent I personally know that NOTHING could keep me from talking to media and letting as many people as possible know that my baby was missing and who was in the house.  Someone might know something… someone might have seen something – maybe not at his house but at the home of someone who was there that night.  No, he can keep quiet if he wants to but why would he want to?  Why would he want to keep quiet if he really wanted the baby found quickly? 
          So, do you have any ideas about why the paternal grandmother told the media she was home with Justin the night the baby disappeared?  Do you have any idea why she later recanted that statement and then told the media that the reason why she lied about her whereabouts was to protect the integrity of the investigation and the reason why she could not tell anyone where she was that night was to protect the police investigation.  Really?  I don’t believe that for a minute.  

          When people try to get rid of the media and keep details quiet and, as in the case of Justin’s mother, lie about where they were the night the baby went missing…  I find that suspicious in a missing person case.  Don’t you? I don’t see anything suspicious about anything Ayla’s mother is doing. If people are really interested in this story and want to help it’s probably a good idea to stay focused about where this baby was and who had access to her at the time she disappeared and she was not with her mother. 

          • Anonymous

            I totally agree with you on the actions of the grandmother.  Does indeed create suspicion.  I honestly have no better guess than anyone else out there as to the perp of this crime.  My gut tells me somehow the mother is involved, but as mentioned, Justin’s mother’s recent statements create doubt for me.  It also could have something to do with the mystery Portland woman that nobody seems to be talking about.

          • Anonymous

            Although I don’t believe this woman would win any mother of the year awards, I actually don’t believe she is in any way involved in the disappearance of Ayla.  But, my belief  is mostly based on the fact that she was in rehab at the time, has little or no money and isn’t likely to have the resources or savvy to hide this baby for this long.  At first I thought it might be a parental abduction but I don’t really think so anymore.  I think the mother would be much more low key if she or any friend or family member of hers had abducted the baby.  I would also expect that after four weeks of looking for her that the police would have checked the homes of all her relatives.  If this mother had some wealthy connections it might be possible for her to pay someone to sneak in and get the baby and take her far from here but that seems so far fetched.  She doesn’t look to me like she has much of anything or is in any position to later join her possibly abducted child.  That just seems so unlikely.   

            The father and paternal grandmother’s behaviors however, in my opinion, are much more suspect.  I hate to say it but I don’t think this baby is alive. I hope she is… I hope he has hidden her with a friend or relative but I don’t know after all this time and publicity.  Too much time has gone by and too much media attention would make either parent crack or the person asked to hide the baby.  I don’t think either parent has friends or family that would continue to hide this baby now that this missing child case has gone national… that’s a lot to ask of anyone and it would seem that neither parent would be able to share a life with this child now that the world is looking for her.  Police would follow them if they tried to see her… Sadly I think she’s gone and I think the father and his mother know more than they are saying.

        • Anonymous

          That is who was at the house overnight…doesn’t mean that there hasn’t been more reported prior to them going to bed that night.

        • OldWench

          It’s not the number of people that makes a gathering qualify as a party…it’s what those people are doing that determines if it’s a party.  Were they playing loud music, drinking and perhaps using drugs?  If so, that is a party, even if only among the residents of the home.

          • Anonymous

            Thank you for confirming what I know to be a party.  The size of the party is what I am disputing.  Early on comments to the tune of what a LARGE party it was were being made.  I was simply stating that it wasn’t LARGE.

      • OldWench

        The mother’s comments are always focused mostly on Ayla and finding her.  The father’s comments are always about himself.

        • I’m not sure what interviews you’ve been watching or listening to, but not the same ones most of us have been! EVERY time Trista’s been in front of that camera or mic, she’s blabbered on about how much SHE missed Justin, and wanted just to talk to HIM, and how SHE hated/loved HIM, trusted/didn’t trust HIM, etc. This is the FIRST interview where I’ve even heard her even ONCE talk about her involvement with Ayla!!! Justin stayed outta the limelight, for a bit, but when he did enter he stated he just wanted Ayla brought back safe! End of Interview, Never once did he carry on about this person, that person or even who he suspected to have taken her,  he strictly spoke about Ayla, and her being missing, and wanting her back! I didn’t hear or see Trista say any of that in the NUMEROUS smiling, cheerful and calm interviews!

          • Anonymous

            Justin had been well rehearsed for his television appearance.  He stuck to the script and nothing more.  He also seemed removed from Ayla as a little girl, he made comments like; Alya probably is looking at this like some sort of game and that she adjusts well to new situations and probably has adjusted to this situation as well.  What father talks this calm and says such foolish stuff when his child is missing?

          • Anonymous

            What mother talks this calm and says such foolish stuff when their child is missing?  My point being neither of them is reacting the way that we all think they should be.  Just goes to show everyone is different and none of us know how we would react in that situation.

  • Anonymous

    Many of these news stories end with “the police hope to return Ayla to her home” — but is that truly the best place for her?  I hope she’s found and is placed with a stable family.

  • Guest

    …..

  • Anonymous

    Dear lord help…you do NOT tell your baby/infant/ toddler/ child/ teenager, etc your deepest and darkest secrets. For gawds sake, woman, are you 2?  Oh let me burden you, Ayla with MY life issues, YOU are there for ME to lean on whenever I want. Who is the parent now? Someone with no capacity to be one, yet (Ayla) and one who does not have the capacity to behave as an adult. (Trista). Um, no one was the parent.

    Yes, I am saying what I think about, mom, here.  What’s next telling your children you cannot afford to feed, clothe, pay rent, etc causing them extreme anguish, fear and insecurity all in the name of ” this is my best friend I tell her/him everything? ” Children are children. They are not here because someone (parent) does not have social skills to cultivate an adult relationship/ friendship with another adult. Blunt? Yes.

    Universe, PLEASE, bonk some of these parents over the head with a big dose of grow up. Your children are not objects/ possessions nor something/someone that will love me, only me, be there for meeeeeeeeeeeeee. They are tiny, innocent, dear little humans who need guidance, protection and love. It is NOT the other way around.

    P.S. Just because I feel this way about her parenting does NOT mean I believe she had anything to do with the disappearance of Ayla.

    • Guest

      I for one, agree with you 100%.  I know of a situation that is similar in that regard.  The parent keeps the child involved in their personal struggles (relationships, money, etc.) to a degree that is definitely not healthy for the child.  

      No matter how many times we have spoken to the parent about it, it has not changed and we can see from the outside how much of a burden it is on the child.

      • Anonymous

        i dont think that any of these replys have assisted in the little girls return or aided the investigations so im kinda wondering why everyone is getting so judgmental and wrighting comments about her parenting we all do it differently and she never said she pourd her whole life out to her she just consould in her i think everyone just needs to remember this is about a little girl that smissing not about pointing fingers!

        • Guest

          Thank you Barbie, I’m sure your post was much more useful in assisting in the little girl’s return.

          I don’t believe either of the responses that you read were pointing fingers per se’ regarding the missing child.  However, the point made in either post is one that I still firmly support, which is that it’s not a child’s responsibility to be there for the parent, especially when they are so young, it is the other way around.

          It is different now that I’m an adult, it is my responsibility to be there for my parents, as well as my children, although I’m sure there are many who disagree with that too.

          • Anonymous

            i was not pertaining to only those two comment rather then everyone above it. soooooo…. when did she say my child was responsable for being there? you guys are all wack and just gotta have something drama filled to talk about guess this is just your ignorant fix for the day weather its pointing your fingers, or judgment on her parenting pretty sure none of you are perfect my son is my BEST FRIEND but hes my child and i parent him that doesnt mean he cant be my best firend aswell. go find someone else to critazise for the day with your meaningless junk!

          • Guest

            Enjoy your day Barbie.  

      • Anonymous

        to many parents now a days are way to buddy buddy with there kids… i see it all the time…the kids hear way to much from there parents… they now how much money there parents are making a year , what the car payment is and that uncle billy is getting a divorce cause he cheated …. .. when i grew up u didnt talk about money, i didnt know what my parents had and i didnt learn about all the crazy faimly sagas till i got 18 or so . but either way i def had to find something to do then sit next to my mom&dad tugging on there shirt tail..

    • OldWench

      If we were talking about an older child, then yes, it would be inappropriate.  However, with a very young child they don’t even understand and won’t remember.  

      • Anonymous

        I think we will have to agree to disagree on this one, OldWench and I am okay with that. :)

        The very young do need to be included in the it’s  inappropriate to discuss/divulge deepest and darkest secrets group. They are not therapists to just listen at the parent’s whim.

        Write a letter one will never send, call a friend, call an 800 help number, go to a therapist, call your priest, minister, clergy of choice or dance a jig instead of laying parental burdens on children. Children are not here for adults to unburden themselves upon just because they can and with the misbegotten idea of it is no big deal. Boundaries and limits are necessary for our children and for adults.

    • Anonymous

      Her parenting skills are not the issue… Don’t lose focus – this is about Ayla. So, why not just cut this woman some slack… her baby is missing and she’s probably a bit anxious, frightened, stressed and beaten down. That might affect her thinking and the things she says under pressure. She’s not a polished public speaker and she’s bound to say something that people can run with. Maybe she was misquoted or maybe what she meant to say was something as simple as how close she felt to her child. This mother is the reason that Ayla’s story is being covered nationwide. People verbally beating her up, criticizing everything she says or does has got to be very discouraging. The day she gets discouraged enough by other people’s negativity is the day she will stop talking to the media. When the media loses interest this case goes cold and the chances of finding Ayla greatly diminish.  No matter what she says or does the most important thing she can do as a parent is to keep Ayla in the media spotlight… if she stops, it’s all over. She could probably use a little motherly support instead of constant criticism no matter what other wrongs (rehab) she’s done in her life.

      • Anonymous

        Please…. reread some of my other posts pertaining to this story. I will post as I see fit. WHERE in my post did you read that I wrote about ANYthing to do with any other issue except what she said in her videoed interview? Nowhere. In fact, reread the last 2 lines.

        Namaste!

        • Anonymous

          Absolutely you can post as you see fit… no one said you couldn’t. I simply asked you to remember that this is about Ayla, not her parents.  I think this mother needs to be encouraged, not discouraged.  I don’t think she had anything to do with her baby going missing from her ex’s mother’s house no matter what kind of parent she is.  Losing a child, not knowing where your child is… well, that’s a horrible thing. She may be reading these posts and feeling the criticism. It may be bring her down more than she probably already is… If you don’t like her or her parenting skills I personally don’t think now is the time to criticize.  In my personal opinion encouraging her, giving her hope will probably be more useful.  But then… that’s just my opinion. 

          • Anonymous

            Excuse me…. READ what I wrote, one more time, especially the last two lines. WHERE do you see anywhere in that post that “I” blamed her for the things you claim I did? Nowhere.

            You did not answer the first time I asked.

          • Anonymous

            Like I said… I asked you to remember that this is about Ayla and I said that criticizing the mother’s parenting skills is non-productive.  You absolutely did criticize her parenting skills in the post I responded to.  In fact, there  was only one sentence in your entire post that was not criticizing her parenting skills and that is the final sentence you referenced above.  That sentence had to do with your opinion that the other two paragraphs did not say she had anything to do with the disappearance of her daughter.   

            It’s okay if you have strong feelings about poor parenting… so do I.  But, now is not the time for criticism of this mother’s parent skills.  This woman’s baby is missing and she needs hope, encouragement and compassion at this time.  Criticism of her parenting skills won’t bring Ayla back and likely didn’t cause her to go missing.

            It may be true that things she said to the media may make her sound like (in your words) a 2 year-old but this mother may have been given sedatives, depression medications or anxiety medications or may not be getting enough sleep, not to mention that she’s caring for another baby.  She might just be so mentally and emotionally exhausted that she’s not making much sense right now.    

            What I said was cut her some slack instead of criticizing her parent skills. I hear you that she said something that didn’t make good sense but any mother who is missing a child is likely to be speaking under extreme duress and might not make a lot of sense.  I then agreed with you that you are entitled to post as you see fit… so go ahead and do it. 

            You don’t have to listen to me… you don’t have to cut her any slack… you don’t have to stop critiquing her parenting skills, you can sarcastically lash out at her saying…  

            “For gawds sake, woman, are you 2?  Oh let me burden you, Ayla with MY life issues, YOU are there for ME to lean on whenever I want.”  

            By all means… go ahead and post as you see fit.  But don’t expect me to tell you that I think it’s the right thing to do. Kindly stop suggesting that I go back and re-read your criticisms such as the one quoted above.  It’s not constructive criticism as it doesn’t offer a solution and it’s not appropriate under the circumstances. Whether you like the way she parents or not this mother has lost a child – have a heart.

          • Anonymous

            Up until this story, I have been extremely supportive.

            You had listed things  I had not said in your prior postings. My asking you to reread was to inform you of exactly what I said and only what I said.

            Yes, her child IS missing. Yes, she has some parenting skills to learn. Yes, I am exceedingly compassionate  and empathetic concerning  her loss, her fears, her anxiety and send her prayers daily.

            I also will state my opinions just as you do. We may have to agree to disagree about the way in which we go about it and the content.

            Namaste!

        • Anonymous

          WeAreOneInSpirit
          here is you verbaly beating her up from an earlier post : For gawds sake, woman, are you 2?

          Oh wait and heres another one specifying that your tlaking about her: Yes, I am saying what I think about, mom, here. What’s next telling your children you cannot afford to feed, clothe, pay rent, etc causing them extreme anguish, fear and insecurity all in the name of ” this is my best friend I tell her/him everything? ” Children are children. They are not here because someone (parent) does not have social skills to cultivate an adult relationship/ friendship with another adult. Blunt? Yes.

          Maybe its you that needs to re read your post?

          • Anonymous

            Your point?

            I do not deny any of what I wrote. I do not feel guilty for writing it nor feel the need to defend it.

            Have a lovely day!
            Namaste!

    • Anonymous

      that was my reaction also.

  • Anonymous

    This woman is full of it.  First of all, she has been lashing out at Ayla’s father and grandmother from day one.  Second of all, her son (who she conceived two months after Ayla was born), is too young to be reacting to pictures of Ayla especially since Ayla has not been in his life for the past three months.  And, “Ayla was her best friend?”  Ayla is 21 months old, how to heck can she be a best friend to her Mother, especially since the Mother has been missing in action for several of those months.  This is all garbage.

    • Den

       What in the world does how soon she was pregnant again have to do with anything? I have relatives – a teacher and a CPA – that have deliberately chosen to have children close together. You say that like it’s a stigma or something. Good grief.

      • Anonymous

        dlaurels comment is about how close in age the kids are its a statement to show that the little boys fond memories of ayla are unlikely to be all that vivid. It was clearnly not a judgement about having kids so close in age.

        • Guest

          dlaurels comment is about how close in age the kids are its a statement to show that the little boys fond memories of ayla are unlikely to be all that vivid. It was clearnly not a judgement about having kids so close in age.     
          ****************************************************************
          and yet dlaurels comment is totally opposite of real life scenarios.  An infant knows it’s own mother BY SIGHT at the age of one month!  These two children were constantly around each other—they are brother and sister…not just kids in the same playgroup.  He would recognize his sister as easily and quickly as he recognizes his mother.

          • Anonymous

            I’m not really sure how its opposite of “real life”.. My step kids, MUCH older then this baby boy, haven’t seen their older sister in a while, they do not recognize her, or pictures of her, even though she looks exactly like their mother. My step kids knew their sister for a lot longer than this boy knew Ayla adn saw her a heck of a lot more than he has ever seen Ayla. They were also older than him the last time they saw her.
             Kids at his age don’t have an amazing memory and forget the simplest things all too easily. He may be acting differently due to the stress he senses his mother/family is under but its not because HE misses Ayla. If that were the case he’d have been acting differently for months, not only since shes been missing.

    • Anonymous

      Who wouldn’t place blame on the person responsible for her at the time she went missing. Is she supposed to send him flowers and sing him a song — get real, not many people wouldn’t be doing the same and probably even worse.

      • Anonymous

        Haha. Sorry but that made me lol.

  • Anonymous

    i’m sure the police dont want the parents or immediate family out looking for her. It confuses the search dogs. They have a similar scent as the baby.

    • Anonymous

      I find it interesting that little Ayla was taken shortly after mom filed for custody. It seems to me that someone in one of the parents lives might have taken her to (in their minds) keep her safe from the other and has her in hiding. At least thats what I am hoping an that she is found safe soon.

    • Guest

      i’m sure the police dont want the parents or immediate family out looking for her. It confuses the search dogs. They have a similar scent as the baby.     
      *******************************************************
      true…but that scentis long gone…it’s been almost 4 weeks.

  • Okay, take this into consideration. It hasn’t been classified as a “kidnapping” yet but I think we all knows that little Alya was taken. A bunch of media attention is probably going to make things worse. Say somebody has her, they’re not going to keep this little girl around if they know people are going to be hunting them down night and day. I think it’d just be best to let the police and professionals handle it and hope for a positive outcome. Its sad to say, it doesn’t look very good after 4 weeks..

    • Anonymous

      Have you read the articles from yesterday?  The McCausland has asked the parents to continue to speak to the press and keep Ayla’s story out there.  This is what she is doing — I’m glad she doesn’t care about the ignorant comments that come with doing so that people feel they need to post.  She’s doing what she’s been asked to do.

      You say that you think its best to let the police and professionals handle it but yet in another comment you say you’d be out there looking — If you don’t know what you’d do how can you judge her for not doing the right thing?

  • tracy gray

    I see no emotion in that girls eyes….. Its a shame that this has happened, I just hope she is found alive and well!!  I think I have more emotion in my eyes when I see this than Ayla’s own mother……  Praying for Ayla

    • Anonymous

      And imagine this:  She’s sucking down a coke too (as Matt informed us of)  — The injustice of it.  She doesn’t have that Look in her eyes that should be there according to you.  Nice!

  • All I know is that if my child was missing I wouldn’t have time to do interviews because I’d be searching until I could no longer walk. Something is rotten in Denmark.

    • Anonymous

      This mother has another child to care for. The child went missing while in the father’s care, not the mothers and in another town. I’m not so sure they live in close proximity, if she has a car or is on a bus route. The mother clearly has no money and no idea where to begin looking. You’re criticizing her because she’s not packing up her 11 month old baby, hitchhiking to the father’s town and tromping around aimlessly but you’re saying nothing about the father?  

      The father knows who was at his house the night the baby went missing. The father does not have to travel to his own home location. The father has only now begun hanging flyers.  

      Maybe you should try focusing on who was responsible for this baby when she went missing instead of blaming and criticizing the mother. The mother was asked to keep the story alive in the media… the minute she stops doing this and this story dies the investigation may as well be over…. and she may never find her baby – not even if she tromps around aimlessly as you suggested.

      So THINK about it… Would you really dump the media and then back pack it with an infant wandering aimlessly around hoping to stumble upon your missing toddler?  Or would you use your head?

      • Anonymous

        If she could arrange with her family to watch the two children while she entered rehab, why can’t she arrange with the family to watch one child while she does what she can to search or post fliers or anything that may also be fruitful in finding her missing child?

        • Anonymous

          How do you know she hasn’t posted flyers? The job given to her was to keep this in the media… she’s doing that.  You may think that flyers posted locally work better, reach more people and notify people faster than the media can… but I disagree. I think getting the word out to the media is very productive. Just think if she had only posted flyers you wouldn’t even know about this unless you went to his town and happened upon a flyer. We all know about this because the media is a better resource than a flyer when it comes to finding missing people and her efforts have been fruitful.

          On this topic I’d have to say she’s coming off as a whole lot smarter than you and she didn’t particularly strike me as an intellectual. Frankly I’m glad that she didn’t just post flyers and wander around aimlessly looking behind bushes for her baby. Because she went to the media, because she stays in the media, we all know what this baby looks like. Someone might know something and her actions give this baby a chance of being found. Your method… it’s a bit outdated and probably wouldn’t be very fruitful.

          • Anonymous

            Which father are you refering to?  Trista’s?  I think I read he is in Portland while Trista is in So. Portland – so not very far.  I don’t know that she hasn’t posted fliers.  I simply picked fliers as they are cheap and can be done closely because you used distance to Waterville and lack of adaquate finances as reasons for her not searching.  You are putting words in my mouth if you think I said fliers are more effective.  You don’t think I realize the Today Show is seen by millions, ALL over the country whereas fliers are seen by maybe hundreds in a vastly smaller area?  I gave you the reason why I included fliers.  Did you not see that I also said search and anything that might be fruitful?

          • Anonymous

            I was referring to Ayla’s father and you’re right, it’s Waterville.  As for the Today Show – I know that it’s seen by millions – that is one media source and it reaches a much greater audience than flyers posted all over Waterville, ME.  

            Here’s what you said… “If she could arrange with her family to watch the two children while she entered rehab, why can’t she arrange with the family to watch one child while she does what she can to search or post fliers or anything that may also be fruitful in finding her missing child?”

            You asked why she can’t arrange with the family to watch her child while she searches (I assume you mean for the baby), posts flyers or anything that may be also be fruitful in finding her missing child.  My answer to you again is that she IS doing THE MOST productive thing she can do.  No, I don’t know for sure  if she’s been to Waterville and posted flyers… do you?  I know the father just started doing this and he lives in Waterville.  As for searching… where do you want to start?  Which bush, which field, whose house?  Is that really more productive?  Why shouldn’t she let the police conduct these physical searches since they have more information, better acess to people, better resources like dogs, divers, etc…  No, I don’t agree with you that she should be getting in the way of the police instead of keeping her baby in the media spotlight.  In my opinion this is exactly what she should do and what the father should do.  He’s in Waterville so he can put up flyers too.  He knows who was at his house so he can ask questions of them that she can’t.  

            Come on, you know as well as I do that the best thing she can do is keep her child in the media spotlight.  When the media loses interest the chances of finding this baby diminish greatly.

          • Anonymous

            Although I am growing tired of debating with you especially since you attacked my intelligence based on your over looking of ALL I said and your own conclusions, I will give it one last post.  You are right, Media probably is the most effective thing she can do.  Is that all she can do?  No.  Is she doing that 24/7?  No.  My point is she AND the father should be doing ALL they can to assist for as long as they are physically able to.  Media, searches, fliers, asking questions, getting coffee for divers, whatever it freakin’ takes!

          • Anonymous

            So now you are going to start attacking my intelligence based on one of the three items I said she could be doing when you over looked the other two?  Good one chief!  It is you who took my mentioning of fliers and ran with it and stated I thought it was effective and all that I would do in the same situation.  I won’t stoop to your level but that isn’t the most brilliant line of reasoning.  (Please see my other post for explination of why I even mentioned the fliers.)

          • Anonymous

            The media is the best possible resource for spreading the word about a missing child.  The police are the best equipped to conduct a physical search and staying out of their way is the smart thing to do.  Keeping the baby in the media spotlight is the smartest and most productive thing a parent can do in a situation like this.  If you suggest putting up flyers or searching fields and homes as a better alternative I’m going to tell you this is a really dumb idea.    If you don’t like, oh well.  

          • Anonymous

            Where did I ever state fliers and searching fields was better than media?  Where?  And how many times do I need to tell you that I realize media is the most effective tool before you realize that I understand that.  Just let it go man…I know I need to as well!

      • Anonymous

        Holy smokes DJBrown!  You are the ultimate armchair quarterback!  Do you realize that you have typed 3,000 words of comments during the past hour on this article alone?  That is about 50 words per minute for a whole hour.  I scanned through the comments and it turned out to be the DJBrown show.

        • Anonymous

          Haa… Oh crap, I’m losing my touch. I used to regularly type 85+ wpm!  I’m glad you’re enjoying the DJBrown show… I’m not on much except for boring, snowy days!  Honestly I think you’re right and I need to call it a day! I’m just totally driven to act when it comes to protecting innocent children.  That’s my guilty passion! 

  • Briney

    Interesting story.  Rather read about what she had to say, than watch her on TV.  There’s still more depth in a  printed  story than there is on TV. 

    Perhaps Reporter Cousins could dig up a folo story with those “other two” – the people who were in the house the night Kyla disappeared?  The grandmother:  It would be interesting to know why she changed her story.   Then there’s the “other two” whoever they are.  So far, still a mystery.  

    But, if we have it right, that there were four people including the father and grandmother in that single story house, at least one of them knows something.  Putting a 20-month-old child to bed at 9 p.m. and leaving her unattended throughout the night without as much as peek into the room to make sure she’s okay?   

  • I’m sorry to say , but she’s not making any sense. I know what it’s like not to know where your child is. I actually had that happen to me. It’s a long story which I won’t go into detail about here, but both of my children were abducted when they were very young. I didn’t know if they were dead or alive.  Luckily and quite miraculously my children were found and returned to me. Look, I know everyone doesn’t react the same way, but I just want to say that all these parents in the news lately with these missing children just don’t seem to be responding as if they are truly distraught. When your child is missing you cannot be so calm. When I didn’t know where my children were, I couldn’t  eat, sleep, or think of anything except finding my kids. I could hardly stop crying. If ever I wasn’t actually crying I was right on the verge of crying.  There was no way I could calmly say ” they were my best friends.” Huh?  I don’t know. Something is so not right with the reaction of either of these parents.

  • I do not know which parent to believe, she acts she is more worried about the cameras then her missing daughter, And the father went 14 hours with out checking on his daughter. No child should ever go that long at that age without being checked on. I just hope she is ok, and she is with someone who would love her and protect her, and these 2 never get custody of her back, and The fact in this video she has another child, please the state of maine needs to get that child out of her custody!!!! NOW!!!

  • Anonymous

    It is odd to me that little Ayla was taken so soon after the mom filed for custudy. It seems to me that someone they know might have taken her to keep her safe (in their minds anyway) from one or both of the parents. I only hope this might be the case so she might be found safe and sound soon.

    • Guest

      I find it interesting that little Ayla was taken shortly after mom filed for custody. It seems to me that someone in one of the parents lives might have taken her to (in their minds) keep her safe from the other and has her in hiding. At least thats what I am hoping an that she is found safe soon.
      ***************************************************************
      good point…but surely the person(s) hiding her would have come forward by now—with a lawyer to help get them out of any potential criminal charges. Surely the police and other investigators (FBI is involved) have been “sitting on” the friends and family, looking for any clues the little girl is there.

  • Anonymous

    I’m not going to attack anyone. One Parent knows something while the other proubably does not. This is very tramatic who knows how anyone of us would react if this was our child.  The mother goes on Tv  she gets attacked.  The father stays quiet he gets attacked.
    This story is about an adorable little girl that is missing.  Please lets all hope and pray that she is found soon. 

  • Anonymous

    We all need to remember….at the end of the day, a little girl hasn’t come home; she is still missing and we all need to come together to pray for her safe return.  I pray every day that this baby is safe and warm.  The family issues and maturity levels can be addressed after her safe return.  PRAY FOR AYLA.

  • Anonymous

    to whoever thinks they are justifying anything by riduculing the way she is reacting im assuming that your child is missing and you know just how she should be behaving????? okay thats what i thought this isnt CSI we all dont histaricly cry about things when i found out my best friend passed away i was in shock for so long that i didnt hystericly cry until months later dammit give the girl some space ignorant pathetic sociaty these days yall are just as bad as whoever took her. for being so inhumane and unjust!!!! PUT YOURSELF IN HER SHOES dont just assume

  • Anonymous

    I pray for Ayla’s safe return and for her mom to maintain her sobriety in these stressful times. Please, whoever has this baby, return her. 

  • Anonymous

    we all have our opinions but come on people you dont need to be ignorant this si about finding a little girl leave the investigating and accusing to teh police after all your not the one on the case? and your child isnt missing correct? okay now hes a little rule of thumb keep your sny ignorant comments to yourself your not in her shoes and you certainly arent assisting in bringign her home so why in gods name do you reserve the right to sit here and slander someoen you dont even knwo just because there life is being plasterd all over the internet! WE ALL HAVE OUR OPINIONS AND UNLESS YOUR GOING TO SAY SOMETHING TO AID IN AYLAS RETURN YOUR OPPIONS SHOULD BE KEPT TO YOURSELF HENSE RULE NUMBER TWO NO PERSONAL ATTACKS!

  • Anonymous

    2 things a mother doesn’t say when your CHILD/BABY is missing is: 1) I knew I didn’t need to share my baby when she was born with anyone if I didn’t want to…ummm lets see it takes 2 to make a baby so its pretty selfish to even have the thought. 2) I told Ayla my deepest and darkest secrets…I think it speaks for its self that this Mom is not alright. Everyone parent knows when you become a Mom or Dad you would literally give them the world filled with love and devotion. I dont see it in her at all. Its truly sad! And so quick to get pregnant again with child #2 when you cant even care for Ayla? People dont become addicts over night people. Sorry if I have offended anyone but this story makes me really sadden and I hope my instincts are proven wrong.

    Sincerely Mommy of 2 boys that I wouldn’t stop searching the earth for 

  • Guest

    There is someting so wrong with this mother and situation.

  • Anonymous

    Note to Trista: 
    1, Don’t do anymore interviews until you can be well versed in how to respond to each and every question that is asked of you (perhaps Justin will share the name of his lawyer with you)
    2. Please dress appropriately (I’m not sure who’s idea of appropriate you’d like to use)
    3. Please cry at all times
    4. Watch your facial expressions — don’t let that nervous grin come out
    4. Please if you don’t do any of these other things — don’t drink Coke (for some reason that was a focal point of some posters ignorant comments.

    Good luck with all that — but don’t be surprised if they they find another angle to come after you for.  I hope your little Ayla is found safe and sound —

    Be strong and continue to take advantage of every minute you can get that little girls picture, name and story out there!

  • Anonymous

    To all those criticizing this young woman’s every action:  You are not helping anything.  Neither parents have the means to conduct a search or find the child on their own and all they can do is keep Ayla in the public’s eye or people will forget about the baby.  I’m sure she knows that everyone will be scrutinizing her every word and yet she still goes out there to keep her baby in the public’s mind.  I see an incredible bias against women among the commenters.  Is it easier to take potshots against the mother, rather than the father who was in charge of the baby’s care? 

  • She is missing her daughter. Of course she is going to talk about her relationship with Ayla, and whether or not anyone agrees with her parenting style, it is obvious that she loves Ayla. That is what is important, here. She loves her baby girl and wants her home. Many children don’t have that type of love from their mothers or fathers. And it is obvious that this mother has nothing to do with Ayla’s disappearance. And she needs the support of the public, not the judgement of her parenting style. Put yourselves in her place, and remove your judgement.

  • Anonymous

    As I read these comments, and all of the vitriol, it has become clear to me that we are all suffering a great deal with this tragedy.  May I suggest we use this energy to pray (or meditate, or whatever you want to call it) for Ayla to be found.  Lots of love and big hugs to everyone hurting because of this.

  • Anonymous

    As I read these comments, and all of the vitriol, it has become clear to me that we are suffering a great deal from this tragedy.  May I suggest we use this energy to pray (or meditate, or whatever you want to call it) for Ayla to be found.  Lots of love and big hugs to everyone hurting because of this.

  • Anonymous

    2 kids in a year??? This chic needs to keep her legs closed!!!

  • Peter Hyatt

    She doesn’t have to share Ayla with anyone; she tells Ayla her darkest deepest secrets…

    Ayla was a novelty between two strangers.  She never stood a chance.  

  • Anonymous

    Everything about this article is awful, BDN this isn’t news, this is just giving a terrible, selfish woman more publicity and notoriety. Ayla is not your best friend she is a helpless, defenseless child who needed a Mother. Trista may have given birth to two children in 20 months but by no means was she a Mother. Hey genius how about going into rehab before you have two babies to care for, and really what kind of mother doesn’t speak to or see her 20 month old child for 8 days. 

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