Ministry of celebrity gossip

Posted Dec. 03, 2011, at 11:41 a.m.

Humphries-Kardashian legal jousting under way

Kris Humphries is having a legal field day this week, parrying soon-to-be-ex-wife Kim Kardashian’s divorce petition with a request for legal separation and an annulment instead — and as of Friday he reportedly wants their prenup disappeared as well.

Humphries asked for an annulment of the marriage in a response filed Thursday in L.A. Superior Court. Kardashian filed for divorce on Oct. 31 after 72 days of wedded bliss or something. TMZ said Friday that the pro basketball player wants the annulment for religious reasons.

The annulment is being sought on the grounds of fraud, according to court documents. That sounds pretty nasty, but it’s also a box that can be checked if it can’t be alleged that one or the other party involved was already married, was too young to get married or was physically incapable of getting married at the time of, you know, getting married.

Of course, there are also the boxes (aka California Family Code Section 2210) alleging that someone wasn’t of sound mind at the time of the wedding, or that someone was forced to say “I do.” But there we are again, getting back into nasty territory. Plus the last two don’t count if the parties lived together freely after getting hitched — and of course, Kris and Kim’s cohabitation was captured on camera for the sake of reality TV.

Oops.

Humphries wants the prenup voided not because of any his-and-hers property issues but rather, according to Radar Online, to nix what a source calls an “extensive” confidentiality clause.

“Kris wants to be able to talk about the situation without being sued,” said a Radar source supposedly close to the situation. Apparently, the thinking is that if the marriage were annulled, it would be as if it never existed, so a prenup would become moot. Well, never existed except for the two-part TV special.

Kim, meanwhile, doesn’t appear too worried about a judge buying that the marriage was contrived for the cameras. According to TMZ, she’s told friends that as a “marketing genius” along with mom Kris Jenner, there’s no way she’d set herself up for the Kardashian brand bashing that has resulted from filing for divorce.

Sara Gilbert has a new girlfriend

Sara Gilbert has a new girlfriend — singer-songwriter Linda Perry — and she’s flattered that people are interested, but certainly wishes we’d all found out when she’d done her hair and makeup first.

She and Perry, a member of 4 Non Blondes in the early ‘90s and who now writes for folks such as Pink and James Blunt, were photographed by paparazzi on a recent Sunday morning, and next thing Gilbert knew, her relationship status had been officially changed online. According to fellow “The Talk” panelist Aisha Tyler, it was not exactly what the actress would have wanted.

“It’s weird,” Gilbert said. After their morning outing, “I go online and it’s on, like, CNN, and I’m flattered, you know, and I can’t believe that anyone cares.” Despite her smile, however, and even though she said she expects in her current job to share personal details with the audience, “I kinda would rather do it on my terms” — and here’s where she got the laugh — “in full hai r and makeup.”

Also, perhaps, not be photographed on a Sunday morning when she perhaps thought she could enjoy, as Sharon Osbourne put it, some “privacy,” which out of her mouth rhymes with “give-a-see.”

Gilbert and Allison Adler, who have two young children together, broke up in August after 10 years together; the two had gone public with their long-term relationship only a year earlier. Then the “Roseanne” veteran teared up a few months back when “The Talk” gang were chatting about marriage in September.

Gilbert, voice cracking, said on that that she wouldn’t trade the time she’d had with Adler. “I think that’s such a special time in my life. But then you see people in their 70s and you go like, ‘How do people do it? How do they make it last?”

She may get to give it another shot.

Michelle Trachtenberg was almost Bella Swan

Television actress Michelle Trachtenberg says she was almost in the driver’s seat of Bella Swan’s “Twilight” pickup truck — alleging that she was tapped to play Kristen Stewart’s star-making role in the vampire franchise.

“I’ve known (director) Catherine Hardwicke since the movie ‘Thirteen,’ “ she told Us Weekly. “I was actually supposed to star in that (“Thirteen), but I was on ‘Buffy’ at the time.”

Trachtenberg cites scheduling conflicts as the reason she didn’t get to lurk with Robert Pattinson in the first “Twilight Saga” film, helmed by Hardwicke. But don’t worry about Michelle: She’s fine with sitting out the billion-dollar franchise.

“I already have ‘Buffy,”’ she said. “I’ve already done the vampire thing.”

Thank heavens! Not only do we find it graceless when actors cast themselves, it’s worse to peck over the almost-were roles. Not only does it detract from the actor who, you know, won the role, but it’s seriously unprofessional.

Trachtenberg’s hubristic “Twilight” reveal is akin to saying she passed on “Salt” after her satisyfying experience on “Harriet the Spy.”

We’re perfectly happy with Kristen’s take on Bella, and as for Michelle — give her and the gang our best over at “Gossip Girl.”

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